“Studying only.”
Now if only I can tell my body to get the memo. I haven’t reacted to someone like that in years. Or ever, if I’m being honest. My high school boyfriend was more of an infatuation than anything.
“Okay. So how the hell do I identify a black hole?”
I laugh, getting back to the matter at hand. “There’s a few different ways to go about black holes.”
Flipping open the book, I find the chapter we need. Since we’re not that far into the semester, we haven’t covered too much material. But the professor we share moves at warp speed. Professor Craig’s goal always seems to be to cover the entire book in half the semester.
I walk him through the basics to help with the building blocks. It’s how I always start my tutoring sessions. No sense in diving into the deep end if the student doesn’t have an understanding of what I’m reviewing.
And based on the way Troy’s eyes are glazing over, I’m losing him. “Is any of this making sense?”
“Kind of? All the numbers get jumbled together, and I don’t know what I’m actually looking at. Sorry.”
I shake my head at him. “Don’t be sorry. I’ll make sure you understand this before we leave today.”
“How long are you planning on being here?”
“Hey now. That means you are doubting my abilities to teach you.”
“Well, Professor Craig can’t do it, and he has a doctorate.”
I roll my eyes. “He really does love talking about that any chance he can get.”
“Maybe if he talks about that less, he could teach me more.”
“Then you wouldn’t be here with me.”
Troy drops his elbow on the table and rests his cheek on his fist. “Wouldn’t that be better for you then?”
“No.” And I mean it. “I like helping people. And I want to help you, Troy; I really do.”
“I appreciate it.” Troy pulls his book back to him. “Now, tell me this again.”
I do as he asks. Even if I have to stay here all afternoon with him and go over it a hundred times, I’ll stay here until he gets it right.
It’s the fifth time that I’m walking him through the right equation that I see the light click in his eyes.
“Wait. So I use this number here and divide it by this one?” He points to the correct two numbers.
“Yes! That’s it!” My voice echoes in the quiet study room we’re in. “That’s exactly how you do it.”
“It seems so easy now.” Troy finds another equation in the practice problems and completes it without my help this time. “Is that right?”
I check his math and see that it’s correct. “That’s right. Great job.”
“God, I feel like an idiot for not realizing how easy this was before now.”
“Sometimes it just takes the right person to explain it in a way that makes sense.”
He nods. “Yeah. I can use this to rewrite my paper considering it’s all about black holes.”
“That’s great. Do you want to review that while we’re here?”
“Can we?” There’s a trepidation in his voice. I hate that I put it there. My unwillingness to help him the first time shows.
I hate myself a little more for it.
