I reach for Reagan’s hand, ignoring my phone, knowing the minute we get home and she goes to bed, I’ll have to deal with it.
“Where are we going?” she asks as I tuck her into my side as we head towards the car.
“Opera Kitchen. Figured you’d enjoy the view, plus the menu is pregnancy friendly.”
“I appreciate you checking.” I hate this stunted conversation with Reagan. It’s too quiet as we head towards the restaurant. It’s never been like this with her. It’s always been easy. But now, it’s like we’re two strangers meeting for the first time.
We're quiet, Reagan seemingly as lost in her thoughts as I am, as we get into the car and make the short drive through the city. Pulling up to the valet, I help Reagan out of the car, and we make our way closer to the famed Opera House.
“Wow.” Reagan’s eyes are spinning, taking in everything around her. “It’s hard to believe I haven’t been over here since I arrived. I guess I am used to always looking at it from afar.”
The Opera House is lit up, colours dancing on the shell-like roof. Even for a fall night, it’s crowded, but I push our way through to find an open table on the water.
“Hopefully this is to your liking.” I hand Reagan a menu. She’s glowing with the lights reflecting off her. Fuck, if she isn’t the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.
“It’s great.” This time, her smile is genuine, and it unravels the tightening in my chest. “Maybe next time we could catch a show here. If we have time.”
“They have quite an array of shows. I’m sure we could make time for something.” A waiter interrupts me, taking our order and dropping off a bottle of water.
“Any ballet shows? I’d love to see one.” She sips on her water, eyes locking on mine.
“Was that the kind of dancing you used to do?” Unlike the stilted conversation on the ride over here, this is easier. This is the Reagan I’m used to. Her brown eyes hold mine.
“I did. I loved it, but never quite had the skill set to be a professional.”
“Why’d you stop? Just because you aren’t a professional doesn’t mean you can’t still do it.”
Reagan rests her chin in her hand, reaching with her free hand to grab mine. She traces the veins on the back of my hand. “Life, I guess. I’ve put so much energy into my career that I didn’t have much time to do it.”
“Will you dance for me some time?” I cover her hand with my other one.
“Might be kind of hard.”
“After then.” My words are borderline desperate. But I need her reassurance that she’ll still be here.
“Guess I might need to find some ballet shoes.”
Her smile lights me up from the inside out. I didn’t know how much I needed to see it. How much it calms me.
Our waiter comes by, setting down our pasta and leaving us be.
“What’d you used to do for fun as a kid?”
It’s a simple enough question, but not something I got to do a lot of as a kid. “Kai and I used to play pirates.”
Reagan laughs over the bite in her mouth. “I can picture the two of you just running around, causing chaos.”
I laugh, feeling good for the first time in a week. “We went to a classmate’s birthday party and got all the pirate stuff. We ran around for months pretending we were pirates.”
“Were you the Dreaded Pirate Blackbeard?”
“Worse. I was the Toothless Wonder because I was missing my front teeth. And Kai was Tiny.”
“Just Tiny?”
I nod. “We weren’t very clever. Just two boys playing make-believe.”
Reagan stares at me. Observing, not saying anything. It’s almost unnerving. “What?”
