“Mum split when we were kids. She felt trapped by raising two kids. Dad was head over heels in love with her, and it gutted him when she left. He became a drunk and did the bare minimum to keep a roof over our heads when we were little. I was a parent to Kai when no one else was. And the second Dad could split, he did.”
“Oh, Leo.”
He shakes his head at me. “I don’t want your pity.”
“You don’t have my pity.” I straddle him, watching the late afternoon sun cast Leo in a warm glow. “I’m thinking how strong you must have been to be there like that for your brother.” I cup his cheek, anchoring his gaze to mine. “What happened to your dad?”
“He died. I got a call from the hospital about two years after he left us that he was in an accident. Barely shed a tear.”
I can’t imagine what life was like for Leo growing up. To have to raise your younger brother. “Is this why you’re so scared of becoming a parent?”
He nods. “I’m terrified I’m going to fuck this up. That I’m already fucking it up by not being there for you, Rae.”
I take Leo’s lips in a soft kiss, trying to convey everything he’s come to mean to me in these last few months. That even though this baby was unexpected, it’s come to mean more to me than anything else. That Leo means more to me than I ever thought possible.
This closed-off man keeps showing more and more of his big heart to me. One that he doesn’t let many people see. That I don’t think he even sees himself. It’s one of the things I love most about him. It makes it harder considering where we’ll be in a few months. As much as he didn’t have anyone growing up, I want to be a person he can depend on.
“Leo. There is no one else I’d want to have this baby with than you,” I whisper against his lips.
“But what if I screw up?” The vulnerability that drips from his voice makes me ache for him.
“What if I screw up?” I brush a thumb across his bottom lip. “We could both screw up, but as long as we’re doing it together, we’re going to be okay.”
Leo wraps his arms around me as best he can with the baby between us. There is no other place in the world I’d rather be than right here in his arms. He brings me comfort when I need it most.
I don’t know when it happened, but Leo has become the most important person in my life. And while I try not to think of the future, my time here in Australia is fast coming to a close. I have no idea how we can make this work, me living in Indy and Leo being in Sydney. It’s a two-day trip to get here. There’s no way we can sustain what we have.
And that’s what scares me the most.
Chapter Twenty
Reagan
“Why are we doing yoga again?” Leo bristles next to me in the tiny studio.
“Because it’s calming. And I need all the calm I can get right now.” I give him a once-over, his brow drawn tight into a furrow. “And so, apparently, can you.”
“If it helps you, then I guess I’ll do it.” Leo leans over, dropping a kiss on my cheek. “Besides, you look pretty sexy in your yoga costume.”
I laugh. “It’s not a costume.”
“Either way, you look pretty sexy.” His hand finds my belly, rubbing small circles over it.
“You don’t look so bad yourself.” The tight muscle tank Leo is wearing accentuates his muscles. I can’t get enough of his biceps.
“Good afternoon, everyone. Welcome to our session today. Let’s begin by focusing our breath.”
Leo shifts back onto his mat, giving me the side-eye. He wasn’t entirely convinced we should come here today, but he came anyway. No matter what I do, it seems I can’t protect my heart from Leo. The closer we get to having this baby, the closer I get to leaving. Instead of fortifying myself for that inevitable day, I just keep sinking deeper and deeper into the comfort Leo provides.
His warmth. His heart. His eyes that are looking at me like there is nowhere else in the world he’d rather be than right here with me.
And instead of calming down, my nerves ratchet up, thinking of everything that’s going to happen in the next few months. I start following along with the moves as the instructor demonstrates them, changing what I can’t do.
It’s not difficult, but it starts to center my spinning thoughts. The movements are familiar, if not a little foreign doing them with my belly. Every so often, I feel Leo’s eyes on me. His protectiveness has ramped up these last few days. He’s doing everything in his power to make even the simplest task easier on me.
Being anywhere with him makes the time pass quickly, and before I know it, the class is ending.
“How are you feeling?” Leo looks perfectly calm next to me lying on his mat.
