Mom’s calls have increased in number the further along I get. I know she hates not being here, but she’ll be here in a few months when the baby is born.
“I feel alright. Just taking it easy.” The baby is still as lively as ever, kicking during all hours of the day.
“And how’s Leo coping with everything?”
A sharp pang tugs at my heart. The look on his face was heartbreaking. From day one, he’s been all in, and it’s like I just brushed him to the side like he doesn’t mean anything to me. When that’s the furthest thing from the truth.
“Treating me with kid gloves. I think he thinks I’m going to fall over if he’s not at my side at all times.”
“Your father was the same way when I was pregnant with both you and your brother. It’s just how men are.”
“I worry about when the baby gets here. He’s been busier than ever with work, and I worry that it’s only going to get worse after the baby arrives.” My voice is quiet, voicing my concerns to my mom.
“Have you talked about what you’re going to do once your project is over?”
I wince, knowing all the papers I have back at the office. On how to file a birth abroad. Of taking them home once my time here in Sydney is over. It’s the dark cloud that’s been looming but has now started raining down on both of us.
Leo and I live two separate lives. No matter how much we’ve been together these last few months, no matter how good it’s been, the real world is quickly coming back to rear its ugly head. I live in Indianapolis. Leo’s life is here in Sydney. How in the world are we going to make our two lives work when we don’t live with each other?
“I’m still trying to figure everything out. It’s not an easy process, that’s for sure.”
“Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.”
Her unfailing optimism grates on my nerves, causing me to snap. “We live thousands of miles apart, Mom! How in the world are we supposed to figure out how to raise a kid when we’re a transpacific flight away?”
“There’s no need to raise your voice at me, Reagan.”
I pinch my brows, this conversation now doing nothing to assuage my earlier guilt. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’m stressing over this when I shouldn’t be. Can I call you later?”
“Sure, dear. I love you.”
“Love you too.” I hang up the phone, sitting in the rocking chair that is in the nursery that was once my room. Leo’s been hard at work getting this space set up for our little one.
Once strangers, now lovers, and soon-to-be parents.
I think of how far Leo and I have come, and yet we’re still miles apart with no way to bridge the gap.
Chapter Nineteen
Leo
“Reagan? Where are you?” The flat is dark. Fall nights come early, darkness filtering in through the windows. The weeks have been passing quickly. Too quickly for my liking. The cooler weather has moved into Sydney, and before we know it, the baby will be here.
“Bathroom.” I follow the sound of her voice into my room. I love that she’s in my space. That she doesn’t stay in her room anymore.
I push open the bathroom door, and Reagan is soaking in the tub, bubbles covering her. “Hi, Rae.” I kneel next to her, dropping a kiss on her forehead. “How was your appointment?”
Reagan’s brows pinch together. “The doctor is worried about my blood pressure.”
My stomach drops. “Why is she worried?”
I cup the back of her head, turning her gaze to me. “It’s elevated. Nothing serious, but she wants me to try and reduce my stress levels to help it.”
I stroke her hair, needing it to calm myself as much as her. “How can I help?”
Reagan sinks deeper into my touch, her eyes closing. “Just be here now.”
I drop my forehead to hers. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there today.” Of all days to miss an appointment, it had to be today. The panic she must have felt being there by herself guts me.
