“I just don’t know if I can do this, James.”
He sinks down onto the sofa, holding his head in his hands. He looks so despondent sitting there as the world weighs me down.
“You knew that this would be part of the risk of getting involved with me.” James’s voice is hollow. I’ve never heard such emptiness come from such a happy person.
“Maybe I didn’t have the full picture. I never expected to have the paparazzi attack me outside my own home or invade my privacy inside my home.” My hand goes to the healed cut on my cheek. “I just, I don’t know if I can handle this life.”
James shoots up and crosses to me in a quick stride. “Please don’t say that, Zara. We love each other. We can work through this.”
His hands are warm on my cheeks as the tears finally fall, carving hot paths down my face. “What if we can’t? What if it only gets worse?”
“All I can do is promise to protect you with everything I have. I don’t want to lose you.”
The guilt in his eyes is crushing. “I’m sorry, James. I just need time.”
“How much time?” The crack in his voice splits my heart in two.
“I don’t know.” Grasping his hands, I kiss his knuckles before stepping out of his hold.
“That’s not reassuring, love.”
“I’m sorry, I’m not sure what else I can do right now.” James’s presence is overwhelming. So much so, I can’t stand to be here a moment longer. Rushing to grab my bag, I try to leave as fast as possible.
“That’s it? You’re just leaving me here without another word?”
The break in my heart is too much. The tears tracking down my face are endless. “I told you I need time.”
“Bullshit. You’re running scared. Time is never a good thing, and you’ll find every excuse to not be with me because you’re not ready for everything this world is.”
“Can you blame me? I’m sorry, but after today, I don’t think I’m asking for too much.”
“Well, it’s too much for me. Because if you walk through that door, we’re done.”
The finality of his tone hits me square in the chest. “Fine. If that’s how you want this to go, then we’re done.” Just saying those words causes another crack in my heart.
“Then I guess we are.” Opening the door, my security officer offers me an umbrella in the now rainy skies. It matches my own misery. I run through the rain to the awaiting car. I’ll no longer have the security officers to protect me from the paparazzi. My life is a pendulum, going from complete anonymity to being in the public spotlight with James, to losing the sense of comfort I have with him and being thrown to the wolves on my own.
And as we pull away, the palace grounds getting farther and farther behind us, the ache in my heart deepens. I wanted time. James couldn’t possibly expect me to bounce back after an hour, could he?
But now, now I don’t even have the option of bouncing back. Because he was swift to cut me out of his life. Just like all the bimbos he’s ever been with. I really did fall for the playboy prince.
Chapter Twenty-Two
James
The pounding in my head is getting louder. Bloody hell, why won’t it go away? Sitting up, I realize it’s coming from my front door. Just what I want, to be around people right now.
The sun is blinding as I get off the sofa. The room spins ever so slightly. I yank open the front door, and my mum, my grandmum, and Ellie greet me. “Oh goodie. Just who I wanted to see right now.” I stalk back to the living room, not bothering to wait for them to come in.
“James, we need to discuss what happened.” Mum’s voice is firm as she takes a seat across from me.
“What’s there to discuss? Someone took photos of Zara and me having sex and leaked them to the press.” I’m wallowing, and I know it. “Zara was the best thing to ever happen to me, and now she’s gone.”
“Is she though?” Ellie’s voice is hard as she shoves me from the side. “Have you talked to her?”
I collapse back onto the sofa, my head resting in my grandmum’s lap. It’s like I’m five years old again. “She wanted time, but you know what that means.”
“Perhaps that she needed time to wrap her head around this?” Grandmum has always been straightforward. “I never had to worry about my naughty bits being strewn across the news for the world to see.”
