“Kids just don’t appreciate the good things in life.”
Zara peers at me over her glass. “Oh? And what are those good things in life that you appreciate?”
I reach for her hand, the small rings cold against my skin. “Having a beautiful woman to have dinner with me. Good Italian food. Fine wine.”
Her hand flips under mine, holding it in her grip. “What’s gotten into you today?” Her fingertips caress my palm. Heat radiates up my arm at the small contact.
“I talked to Mum about the charity idea.” Her movements still as she sets her wine glass down. She stands, moving to sit on my lap. Dropping my own fork, I hug her close to me.
“I’m so proud of you. Tell me everything.”
The confidence this woman has in me blows me away. It’s more than I have in myself some days.
“You really want to hear about it?”
Zara’s hands are warm on my face. Emotions swirl in her eyes—exasperation with a whole lot of love. “Of course I want to hear about it. This is big. I know it can’t be easy to tell the Queen you want to blaze your own trail, but you did it.”
“I don’t deserve you,” I blurt out. Fecking hell, this woman is ruining me. Dropping my head to her shoulder, I try to calm my now racing heart. Zara is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. Not just on the outside, but the inside too. I’ve never met anyone who loves their job like she does. She has such a passion for what she does, and a love for those around her, that it’s hard not to want to be around her.
“That’s just not true. Look at me.” Her fingers under my chin bring my gaze to hers. Her eyes are soft. “There is a heart of gold under all this bravado. You don’t want people to see the real you, because you don’t want to be rejected.”
“Coming with the big guns,” I say on a laugh, trying to diffuse the tension of the moment.
“Stop it.” This time, her fingers grab my chin, holding my focus to her. “If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have taken the Smythsons to Chelsea. You wouldn’t have gone above and beyond for them. If you didn’t care, we wouldn’t be here. You would’ve said fuck it and renounced the crown like your sister.”
It’s a staggering thought. Would I have given this all up if I didn’t care? Would I have lived life in the fast lane until I ran out of gas?
“You are showing up whether you want to believe it or not. You are going to do amazing things as the prince and future King. Don’t doubt yourself.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned these last few weeks,” her voice comes out soft, “is that none of this is easy. You learn to deal with the hard as it comes, and you get better at it.”
“And are you getting better at dealing with the hard?” Zara had the worst crash course with the paparazzi, and it’s difficult not to worry about her anytime she’s out on her own.
She doesn’t answer right away, causing my heart rate to increase. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For her to decide that this life I lead isn’t worth it. That I’m not worth it.
“Some days it feels easy. Some days it’s hard. Really hard. Like I worry about what would happen if the paparazzi got into school or did something to one of my students.”
Fuck. I never thought about that. About what could happen if someone crossed the line. It’s not just Zara I need to worry about.
“But the security officers help. Being around you helps. I know people in the past have used you for leverage to increase their station in life, or a quick screw with the prince, but that’s not me.” Her eyes are gentle as she drops her forehead to mine. “I want you to know you’re worth all this craziness, James. Even on the days I doubt myself, I never have any doubts about you. Or us. I love you more than I thought possible.”
My heart swells in my chest. No one has ever said that. Like Zara said, they either want to sleep with the prince or try to get ahead in life. But Zara has never been that person. And it’s taken meeting her to realize that I don’t have a lot of people like her in my life. Most people are passing acquaintances. I have a tight-knit circle, but it’s remained small because I haven’t found anyone worth bringing into the fold.
But Zara is worth it. I love her so much, it hurts sometimes. Even if we met under the strangest of circumstances, I know I’ll do everything in my power to keep her safe. Even if it means keeping her safe from me. I never want to dull this light that she has.
There are no words that can be said, so I simply wrap her in my arms. This beautiful, perfect, amazing woman that I am not worthy of. Zara may not have her doubts about us, but right now, in this moment, I’m full of them. Wondering if there is any future between the two of us that doesn’t end in heartbreak.
Chapter Twenty-One
Zara
“Alright, everyone. Sit up straight and instruments at the ready.” Snickers break out across the room. “Okay, okay. Let’s go.”
From the moment they first sat down, they’ve been antsy. Whispering amongst themselves throughout class. If they weren’t playing so well, it’d be more grating. Thankfully, it’s the last class of the day.
Tapping my baton, the music starts to rise, and the practice of this week is noticeable. It’s coming together and not a moment too soon, with the end of term recital coming up in the next week.
