“What are you thinking about?” Zara wraps her arms around my waist, resting her chin on my shoulder.
“Just reminds me of Ellie and me when we were little.”
I pull her in front of me. It’s been a weird night, and these feelings floating up inside me don’t have anywhere to go. I love this woman, but it seems no matter what I do, my past will always be rearing its ugly head to remind me why I’m in this situation with Zara. Doesn’t she deserve better than a man who can’t escape his womanizing past?
“You alright? You seem off today.” That’s one way of putting it.
“Taking stock of a few things. Nothing to worry about, love.”
“Pretty heavy for a night at a football match.” Zara drags the tips of her fingers over my cheek, before sliding into the hair at my neck. Her fingers rub soothing circles there. Fuck, what was I thinking about?
“Want to go back to your place and make it unheavy?”
She laughs at me. “Wow, what a charmer you are. You must get all the ladies with that line.”
It stings, but I don’t let her see that. “Why don’t you charm me then?”
“Mmm, that sounds like a nice idea. Want to come back to my place and make it unheavy?” She throws my words back at me.
“Consider me charmed. Now let’s get moving.”
Chapter Eighteen
James
“And how is my favourite son doing today?” Dad’s voice precedes him into my office.
“Mum sent you?” I sigh, dropping the pen in my hand. Since Mum called us to the palace last week, I haven’t talked to her. Every time I think about what she did, I’m seething with anger.
“Can’t I just come for lunch?”
“Fine. Can we make it quick? I’ve got a lot of work to do.” After Zara’s idea about the new charity, I hit the ground running. It’s the only thing that I’ve been able to focus on lately. It’s the perfect distraction with a very real wedding staring me down.
“I’ve already called down to the kitchen. Should be here soon.” Dad sits in the chair across from my desk. “What are you working on?”
“It’s a proposal for a new charity I want to start. There’s a lot of fine details to work out, but I’m hoping it’ll pass muster with Mum.”
Dad gives me a quizzical stare. “You’re serious about this.”
“I wouldn’t be doing it otherwise.” It also made me realize how much I still have to learn.
“Zara’s been a good influence on you.”
A smile I can’t control spreads across my face. Just the thought of Zara has my pulse quickening. No woman has ever made me feel like this. “She has. I know it wasn’t the most orthodox situation, but she’s fit herself quite nicely into our world.”
The door to my office opens and lunch is wheeled in. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until just now. I give a slight nod as the staff leaves us.
“Your mum is quite pleased.” My dad brings us back to the conversation we were having.
A sigh slips out before I can stop it. “Is she though? It just seems that every step forward is two steps back, and that I’ll never live up to this standard she has set for me.”
The clank of his silverware dropping has my eyes meeting his. It’s like looking into a mirror when I get to his age. I’m the spitting image of him. “I’m not saying this to upset you. We’re both quite pleased, shocked really, at how quickly you took to this whole situation. We thought there would be more pushback from you.”
“Because who expects to actually fall in love with the person they’re arranged to be wed to?”
Bloody hell, did that just slip out? I haven’t even told Zara I love her, and now I’m blabbing to my dad. The smile on his face tells me he didn’t miss my slipup.
“You two remind me of your mum and me at your age. Except of course we had twin babies to look after.”
