Still standing, his jaw tightened. “They made me come.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, my tone gentle, apologetic.
He looked away, staring at the wall as though it was easier than looking at me. “I don’t remember you,” he murmured a second later.
“I know. You were just a baby.” I smiled even though it hurt. “Always trying to get out of your crib, crawling into small spaces to escape us–” my voice broke, but I forced out the words. “Dee and I always watched you while Mama cooked, every time we fed you, you’d bite my finger.”
His head snapped toward me, a flicker of something soft, curiosity perhaps crossed his face. “I did?”
I nodded. “You had terrible aim but very determined teeth or maybe my finger tasted better than baby food.”
A tiny sound escaped him, not quite a laugh, close though. He took a seat opposite me and that gave me hope. “Who’s Dee?”
“Dia. Our sister. We also had another sister and a brother. All older than me, us,” I swallowed the tightening lump in my throat.
Silence settled again, only it seemed less intense now. “Will they visit as well?” he asked at length.
Slowly, I shook my head. “Dia will as soon as I tell her about you. She’s something of a loner now, never settles for too long in one place, so it’s a bit harder to track her down. Our eldest sister and brother died in the accident with our parents.”
His eyes widened. “Died?”
Emotion I couldn’t described, punched a hole in my stomach at his shocked expression. “I can’t remember the details, only that Dia and I weren’t there at the time of the accident.”
“If they all died, who raised you?”
I shrugged. “Like you, we were raised by an adopted family.” Although Uncle Haru checked in on us occasionally, Carlo was largely responsible for our upbringing. Once Dia reached sixteen, she went off on her own and Carlo let her.
Kai scratched his head, his questioning gaze on me. “So, we’re both orphans.”
“Seems that way.” I laughed and that sound surprisingly, made him smile, faint, shy and another heartbreaking reminder of our father. “The second I found out my brother was still alive, I wanted to see you. I’m just sorry it took this long to find out.”
He tilted his head, his smile wider. “Your laugh, it sounds familiar.”
I laughed again. “I used to make funny faces to get you to laugh especially when you’d cry for Mama. Sometimes I added grunting sounds that would make your eyes go wide and your cry disappear.” This time, he laughed and the sound was literally music to my ears. “Dee and I would always try to get you to say our names.”
“What did I call you?” he asked, quieter now.
My gaze stayed riveted on the window as memories surface and my eyes blurred. “You didn’t call me anything. You’d just pull my hair, really hard trying to say Isi now and then.”
He glanced down, his fingers twisting as if anxious, when he looked up conflict shadowed his eyes. “I don’t know how to talk to you,” he admitted. “I don’t know what you want from me. You forgot you had a brother,” he whispered the last part.
My throat burned with the truth. “Honestly, I have no idea why I couldn’t remember you. A doctor friend suggested it was the trauma my brain suffered after I learned of my family dyingin the accident. Somehow, I shut you out.” I closed my eyes briefly, trying to remember the moment they told me. I couldn’t. “I wish I hadn’t.” As I said the words, I realized I’d marry the devil if I had to just to take my brother back with me. I didn’t mention the trade-off though, not sure how he’d react to that. Yet in my heart I knew I’d do everything in my power to get us free from their rule. “I don’t want anything from you, just the opportunity to get to know you, the person you’ve become, your likes, dislikes.”
He leaned forward. “Can I tell you something?” I nodded. “When they told me you existed, I felt like my world tilted, like everything suddenly made sense because I’ve always felt like something was missing, like I was missing someone. I think it was you and maybe Dee too.”
My eyes stung. “Kai,” I murmured, swallowing my tears. This wasn’t the turn I expected when he entered the room all stilted and resolute but God it felt good.
“Was that my name?”
I nodded. “Our father was Japanese and our mother Indian. Their children had a mix of both nationalities.”
“Kai,” he mouthed as if testing the sound. “They changed my name. Mother did.”
“You don’t have to use any name you don’t want,” I whispered. “You get to choose who you want to be.”
“I don’t know who Kai is,” his voice cracked.
“I can help you find him, if you want.”
