Chapter 34 – Mikaela
“Where are we going?” I looked at Xavier as the car rolled over the drawbridge and out the gate. This was my second trip outside the castle. While I wasn’t as nervous as that first time, my skin tingled, either with anticipation or memories of the lunch yesterday and how peaceful I felt.
He took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “Yesterday, you conquered a giant step toward a better future. Today, I want to make sure you never go back.”
“Wanting to live after the miscarriage?”
“Yes.”
Smiling, I glanced out the window, remembering my first smile, first laugh, and his reaction to the chocolate cake I’d baked. Accomplishments I never thought I’d fulfill, and I did. All because of this man, who knew how to heal a broken soul.
“Do you think I’ll be able to have a baby one day?” I asked without thinking. After everything I’d been through, I gave up hope that I would.
Xavier looked up from his phone, his expression unreadable. “Of course, you will. Once you’ve learned to live without fear and embraced your suffering, everything else will come naturally, in due course.”
I stared at my fingers, touching the pink nail polish Levana had painted over my nails after lunch yesterday. Something this simple thrilled me, I wondered how I’d react to falling in love or my first kiss. When I looked up again, Xavier studied me, his smile slight.
“Would you want more children?” I asked.
He chuckled. “I have three sons and two grandchildren, Ella. I’m at an age where I’m skeptical if I’d be able to give another child the attention they deserve.”
“Why?” I frowned, suddenly unsure why my chest felt heavy and tight, like I couldn’t breathe.
As if he could read my distress, Xavier leaned closer and gently cupped my chin. “Children are a gift. They deserve patience, love, understanding, and most importantly, time. I’d be worried I couldn’t give them all that.”
“Even if I could do that for you,” I blurted, not sure why I said that. Surprised, his hand fell away from my chin. “I’m sorry,” I quickly added and turned to look out the window, feeling like I’d done something wrong.
However, when the car finally stopped and Ramone held the door for me to climb out, I was back to feeling excited again with none of the nerves like the first outing. Xavier came around the car to take my hand, his usual smile in place relaxed me even more.
A metallic ding sounded above my head, and a rush of cold air hit me as Xavier led me into a store. A sweet fragrance of frankincense, something Beth explained to me after I smelt it on her, curled up my nostrils as we walked in. The store wasn’t as big as the last one we visited but strangely artistic. Against a mix of red, blue, and dark green paint on different parts of the walls, sketches, some in silver frames and others, just plain paper, scattered the walls. Tiny lights twinkled in the ceiling swirled with white, red, and blue paint. They looked like brilliant stars against the night sky. Black and white tiles covered the floor that led to a black counter, the side facing us also plastered with more sketches. A statue of a gold Buddha, something I’d read about, draped in a red cloth and flowers, sat in one corner. Several smaller ones were placed in different parts of the room.
A tall woman dressed in jeans and a tight black tank top strolled through a beaded curtain to stand behind the counter. Her hair hung in thick waves that stopped midway down her back. The blonde tangles were colored with thin pink, purple, and blue strips. Like Xavier’s arms, tattoos started at her shoulders and continued down to her wrists. Some were words, others elaborate black drawings I found interesting.
Wondering why we were there, I looked at her pretty face. “Mr. Sinclair,” she greeted him with a wide smile.
“Good to see you, Lee. How’s your dad?”
“Oh, you know, the old man just keeps going.” She laughed like she knew Xavier well.
Unlike the other woman I’d encountered, she seemed genuinely friendly when she smiled at me. “And this must be the lovely Mikaela?”
Xavier looked at me. “Say hello, love. This is Lee. Her dad is responsible for all my tattoos.”
“Hello,” I greeted.
“Hi. Hope you’re going to trust me today.” She chuckled then to him. “I think this would be perfect for what you had in mind.” She slid a drawing toward him.
As Xavier studied it, I leaned closer to look. It was the head of a lioness wearing a tiara with a set of wings sprouting from the sides. The sketch was perfect, almost real.
“While the wings signify freedom, hope, and faith, in Buddhism, the lionhas been a symbol of royalty, strength, and bravery for thousands of years. It signifies the royal origins of Buddha Shakyamuni and his courage in challenging injustice and alleviating human suffering,” Lee said, her face glowing with excitement, as though it thrilled her to share this information. “As you can see, I’m an extreme Buddhist.” She chuckled, waving a hand at the statues. “We’ll use the room at the front. No mirrors like you requested, Mr. Sinclair.”
Frowning, I looked at Xavier. He turned to face me while Lee slipped back behind the beaded curtain. “Do you remember what I said about your back the morning after you broke the mirrors?”
