“I fucking hope so.” I rested my elbows on my knees and cupped my hands behind my neck. “How?” I grunted at the floor.
“It’s called a stealth pregnancy, otherwise known as a cryptic pregnancy,” Juliette said, yanking my head upward. I frowned. “The woman has no idea she’s pregnant. While it’s a rarity, she might only realize she’s pregnant when labor begins or, in some cases, somewhere between four and twelve weeks of pregnancy. The furthest I know of is twenty weeks.”
Baffled, I stared at her trying to make sense of her words. “What about symptoms and showing?”
Juliette stood and went over to the coffee station. “Usually, if someone was recently pregnant or gave birth, their hormones might take a while to return to their regular cycle. If breastfeeding, they might start ovulating without knowing, resulting in a cryptic pregnancy. Some have no symptoms, some mild, and others, the fetus grows at a slower pace than usual, which can cause them to be underdeveloped in the womb. There’s a lot more to it.” She returned and held out a cup of tea I accepted. “In Mikaela’s case, even though she was starved, I think he gave her all the right supplements to keep her fertile. If my guess is correct, I don’t think this is her first pregnancy.”
Those words sent a cold shiver down my spine. “He took another one,” I repeated Mikaela’s ramblings, staring at the black liquid as if it could give me the answers I sought.
“What’s that?” Juliette retook her seat.
I took a sip of the tea, relishing the calming taste. “It’s what Mikaela kept screaming when I held her.” I chewed my bottom lip thoughtfully. “You’re probably right, Jules. This might not be her first pregnancy.” I blew out air on a harsh exhale, my tendons tightening as I remembered how I found her. Lying in pools of blood, so fragile and in such agony, I had no idea what to do. Once more, John and Beth were Godsend, jumping to action while I held her. “If I found her earlier, would we have been able to save the baby?” Working in my study most of the night to finish a report was why I wasn’t in my room where I should have been.
“At sixteen weeks, miscarriage can be caused by anything from placental abruption to a cervix too weak to hold the pregnancy. We can’t be sure of the reason or whether we would’ve been able to save the baby.”
“I should’ve been there, watching over her,’ I muttered, rubbing my brow.
“Xavier.” Juliette sighed and moved to kneel in front of me. She took the cup from my hand, set it on the coffee table, and gave my hand a light squeeze. “You can’t hold yourself responsible,mon chérie. Forgive me for saying this, but I see it as nature’s way of breaking ties between that man and Mikaela.”
“At the expense of an innocent child?” I snorted.
“That’s not what I’m saying.” She stood as a nurse raced into the room, breathing hard.
“Miss Sinclair is—”
Leaping to my feet, I didn’t wait to hear the rest and tore out of the lounge. A few seconds later, I entered the room to a nurse trying to soothe a frightened Mikaela cowering in one corner. When she saw me, she shot up, shoved the nurse aside, and flew into my arms, yanking the IV out of her arm.
Surprised she’d made it off the bed in the first place, given her blood loss, I hoped she’d agree to stay in the hospital. “It’s okay, love, I’m here,” I caressed her back, my eyes connecting with the flustered nurse. “Thank you,” I mouthed.
She picked up the dangling IV and approached me. I shook my head. With a quick nod, she exited the room.
Scooping Mikaela into my arms, I walked her over to the bed. When I laid her down, she clung to my neck. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Still, she refused to let go. Scared she might hurt herself if I insisted, I picked her up, sat on the bed, and kept her in my lap. Immediately, her face sought the crook of my neck. Whether it was exhaustion or the medication, I felt her sag into my body, her soft sigh blowing warm air against my skin. Watching the slow rise and fall of her chest, I contemplated the best way forward.
As if they’d read my mind, Wilkes and Juliette arrived two seconds later and stood at the door, waiting for my instruction. “Get the chopper ready, Wilkes. I’m taking her home,” I said without further thought. Juliette opened her mouth to protest. I shook my head. “Speak to her doctor, Jules, ask him to arrange everything Mikaela needs. I’ll have Wilkes pick it up.”
With a quick nod, Wilkes walked away, and Juliette neared me. “I think you need to let someone else take over, Xavier.” My death stare was the unfriendliest she’d ever witnessed. She sighed and sat down next to me. “I’m trying to say that she needs professional help now. After what she’s gone through today, it might make her regress, and you’ve worked hard to bring her to this point.” She rubbed my arm lightly. “What about leaving her here and getting Mark to visit? He can probably set a schedule with her. It might help.”
I knew she meant well, and I hated that she was right. Yet, in my heart, it felt wrong to abandon Mikaela now. Squeezing her tighter, I exhaled a long-drawn-out breath. “She’s been through hell, Jules, and all she needs is just one person to show her there is love in the world. One man to let her know that not all men are monsters. One man to show her he has a heart waiting to beat, just for her.” Selfishly, I wanted to be that person.
Mikaela stirred in my arms, lids heavy with sedation lifted to reveal eyes the color of sadness, staring at me, asking me not to leave her.
I won’t,I silently whispered.
Slowly, she raised an arm, bringing a clean palm to my cheek. “He took all my babies,” she whispered.
Babies?“I’m sorry, love.” I dragged a gentle finger down her cheek, aware this wasn’t the time to question her.
“Just one...I only wanted one. Will you...bring him back.” Her words slurred, her heavy lids fluttered, trying to stay open. “Promise me you...” She trailed off, her hand falling from my cheek, her eyes sliding shut.
I looked at Juliette, who wiped a tear from beneath her eye. “How do I promise that, Jules?”
More tears escaped down her cheeks. “Take her home, Xavier.”
An hour later, I waited while Beth turned down my bed. On the way back, I’d decided that keeping Mikaela in my room would be best. I didn’t care if I didn’t get any sleep. If I had eyes on her, it would rest my heart. After laying her on the bed, I hooked up her IV and brought the blanket to her chest. Juliette had made all the arrangements with the attending doctor. While he wasn’t happy, he respected my wishes and had a nurse pack all the required medication.
Straightening, I looked at my housekeeper. “She stays in my room from now on.”
