“Yes and no.” At my curious look, he added, “only say yes when you absolutely want to do something you like and not because someone says you should. Only say no when you absolutely don’t want to do something you don’t like and not because someone says you shouldn’t. You were never given a choice before. Now, choice must become the first word you consider with everything you do.”
“Like if I want my name to be Cinder, I should say no to you wanting me to choose another name?” I asked shyly.
Xavier’s soft laugh made me want to laugh, but it still didn’t come. “Very clever and yes, like that.” He stood. “I have to go now. We’ll chat again later.”
I nodded and watched him walk toward the door. Just as he reached it, I realized I didn’t like what I said to him. So far, he’d gone out of his way for me, and maybe choosing a new name was his way of giving me a new life. “If you had to choose a name for me, what would it be?” I called out.
He turned to look at me. Instead of an answer, he walked back to the bed. “Why?” I didn’t know what to say. “Do you want a new name?” I nodded. “Would you like to play a game to help you choose?”
Curious, I sat up straighter. “Game?” That was also something new to me.
He gestured to the books filled with names. “Bring those with you and join me.”
Frowning, I collected the four books, slid off the bed, and crossed the room to where he stood.
“Sit.” He gestured to the floor.
I sat cross-legged and put the books in front of me while Xavier knelt, leaned over me, and flipped them with their front facing the floor. Then he took my hand, faced it downward, placed his hand over mine, and linked our fingers.
“Now, we’re going to close our eyes and circle the books. When you’re ready, say stop. Whichever book our hand stops over, we choose that one, okay?”
Intrigued, I closed my eyes and allowed him to circle the books. “Stop,” I said, and I opened my eyes after he did.
He flipped the book we chose, turned it around, and opened it to the contents page. “Now, we’re going to run our hands down the letters. When you’re ready, say stop.”
I was enjoying this game with him. Each time he moved, I became more aware of his scent and his hard chest pressing into my back. I closed my eyes, letting him guide our linked fingers until I stopped him.
“The letter M.” He opened the book to the page with the names beginning with the letter M. I angled my head up to look at him. His face was so close I could see dark rings around his blue irises. He noticed me staring and smiled, tipping his chin to the floor. My cheeks flushed. I turned my face back to the book. “Now, we’ll run our fingers, from top to bottom, on one page, then the next. If you don’t say stop by the time we reach the bottom of the second, we flip over. Still, with me, love?”
“Yes.”
“Good girl.” Those words sounded softer and closer to my ear. I didn’t understand that tremble running through my body. Was I scared? Anticipation of my new name?
“Close your eyes.” I did, and he guided our pointed index fingers up and down, from page to page, moving to the second set.
“Stop,” I said. Although he did, I didn’t open my eyes. If I chose this name, I’d have to say bye to Cinder forever. Say bye to the name Mama gave me.
“Relax,” he whispered in my ear. “It’s just a name. If you don’t like it, we’ll do it again.”
My eyes flew open, whether from wanting to see the new name or his soft voice sending strange shivers down my neck, I didn’t know. I looked at him. He was sitting next to me now. With his back leaning on the sofa and his knee resting against my back, his hand still held mine on the name.
“Have a look.”
Swallowing to ease my dry mouth, I looked down at our linked fingers. “Mik...a...ela,” I tried pronouncing it but stammered. This always happened when I learned a new word for the first time.
When I looked at Xavier, he watched me in a way that made me feel warm inside. The hairs on the back of my neck rose, and a shiver rolled down my spine. Never in my life had I ever reacted to a man like this. Then again, I never had a man treat me like I was the most interesting person he’d ever met. Maybe I was.
“Welcome to my home, Mikaela Cinder Sinclair.”
“Mikaela,” I tested the name. He nodded before his words registered. “I can keep Cinder too?” I gasped, my stomach doing funny rolling motions.
“Yes.”
“And what’s Sinclair?”
He ran gentle knuckles down my cheek. “That’s my last name. You’re family now.”
My chest tightened as if I couldn’t breathe. I felt that sharp sting behind my eyes again. I knew I wanted to cry. The tears wouldn’t come. This man was definitely an angel.
