Ten minutes later, after I’d stopped the blood flow as best as possible, I dressed in a clean tunic, sat on a chair, and pulled the blanket around my shoulders. Another minute later, the deadbolt slid back on my metal cage. The hinges squeaking their disapproval, the door opened, and my tormentor returned with the baby.
“All cleaned up. Good.” He moved closer and placed the now clean baby in my arms. “Feed her,” he instructed. “I’ll be back in an hour.”
After he left, I stared down at the beautiful sleeping baby. So innocent and so unaware of the fate that awaited her. Immediately tears sprang to my eyes, knowing what I had to do. My vision blurred momentarily while my throat ached from trying to curb the tears. I swallowed repeatedly, searching for calm, begging the lord for forgiveness as I placed my hand around the tiny neck.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “But I have to.” Hesitant, I squeezed lightly. “Forgive me,” I murmured repeatedly, tears streaming down my cheeks, blinding my vision. Again, I hesitated.
“You have to do it. Kill her now!” commanded the sharp inner voice that always strengthened me.
Blinking my eyes to clear the haze, I swallowed my tears, and just as I was about to apply more pressure, those lids lifted. Shocked, my words choked in my throat. I jerked my hand away from the tiny neck, my gaze riveted on those eyes.
One green and one blue stared back at me, unblinking. I’d never heard of such a thing. Was this a miracle? A savior from the Lord I’d piously prayed to even though he never answered my prayers. Or was this the spawn of Satan, come to wreak hell on earth?
As if in answer, the baby gurgled, spit forming a small bubble between her pink lips.
“Are you the devil or an angel, child?” I finally found my voice. “Surely, if you are the devil, you will know how to take care of him, and if you are an angel, you will know how to take care of you.” My soft words drew another gurgle from her and my heart spasmed, the mysterious love a mother felt for her child flowing through my veins. “I’ve become nothing more than a shadow of life, yet I can’t take yours from you,” I whispered. “Forgive me,” this time, I asked for mercy for letting her live. “Perhaps one day, you will understand my hate and fear, and perhaps one day, unlike me, you will be saved. Sleep now, child.”
As if she understood, she closed her eyes.
I stared at the sleeping baby, my heart overcome with a love I knew by experience alone I’d only be able to give for a short time. Yet at that moment, I made a promise. “I will love you with everything I have until I can’t. You came into this world without a tear and in the time, I have with you, I will teach you to save your tears for a man who will worship them, not for the tormentor who will steal them for his pleasure.”
With her soft body held tight to my chest, I sang the song created by the music of my tears.
And that girl gave birth to a baby called...
Cinder/Sixty Six –(Age unknown)
“Read it again, mama.” Lying on her lap, I stare up at her pretty blue eyes.
“Oh, Cinder.” She laughs. I like that sound. It tickles my chest and makes me smile. “We’ve read it three times already. You know the words without looking at them.”
I giggle. Mama taught me how to read. Even though I can’t say some words, I know what they mean. “Will he come, mama?” I ask the same question I always ask after she reads Cinderella to me.
Slowly, she runs her hands through my hair. It makes me feel sleepy. I close my eyes and listen to her voice. “Yes, my baby, one day your prince will come. He’ll save you and take you to his big castle where you’ll run free, ride horses, wear pretty dresses, dance, and sing like Cinderella.”
“Promise,” I yawn. She doesn’t speak, and I open my eyes. “Mama.” I sit up and touch her wet cheeks. “Why are you crying?”
