Chapter 17 – Cinder
One Week Later
My lids felt heavy when I tried to lift them. They opened and closed a few times before they finally stayed open. I couldn’t remember how or when I’d fallen asleep, but my body felt different like some weight had been lifted from my shoulders, like it finally belonged to me. That it wasn’t for hire or waiting, tensed and tight, for the slide of a deadbolt.
Was this what it felt like to be completely relaxed?
But it was my hands that felt weirder. I couldn’t feel them. I lifted both and stared at the bandage around them, trying to remember what happened. My memory felt fuzzy—as though locked behind a window. I could see it but couldn’t touch it.
After a few blinks, I turned my head, and my vision focused on the man, dressed in a baby blue long-sleeved shirt and dark trousers, sitting on a sofa near the bed before his warm smile came into view and that window opened.
My memory poured through. The broken mirrors. The scar on my back. The blood. The pain. The screaming. I choked on a sudden cough. I’d scratched and hit Xavier. My cheeks heated, burning that single memory into my head. Shifting my gaze to my bandaged hands, I cringed, recalling why they were covered.
“Welcome back,” Xavier said softly, stood, and neared the bed.
I opened my mouth to speak. No words came out.
“Your throat’s dry.” He picked up a glass of water on the bedside table. “Here.” He slid a hand under my head and lifted the same time his other hand brought the drink to my lips. I took a sip, the coolness sliding down my throat made me greedy for another. “Easy, love.” Xavier chuckled when I attempted to hold the glass, realizing I couldn’t.
Taking another slower sip, I lifted my eyes to his, not understanding the calm swimming through me. Why wasn’t I scared of him? I’d hit and scratched him. Why wasn’t he angry?
When I couldn’t drink anymore, he drew back the glass, set my head down, returning the glass to the bedside table. “Hopefully, a week of sleep has put you in a more receptive mood?” I liked the way one of his brows drew up then I focused on his words.
“Receptive?” I murmured, not sure what that meant.
“You weren’t exactly friendly with the mirrors and then pushing Dr. Juliette away?” Panicking, I lowered my gaze to the bed. Xavier bent at the waist and slid a finger under my chin, the warmth of his touch seeping into my skin as he lifted my head. “I’m not angry.” How could he read my expressions so well? I said nothing, and he smiled. “You don’t remember waking yesterday when Juliette arrived to remove the catheter. You didn’t want her to touch you and refused the clothing she brought you.”
I frowned, searching my brain. The last thing I remembered was me breaking the mirrors in the bathroom.
His expression changed for a moment. So quickly, I thought I imagined it. “It’s okay. I’ll chat to her later.”
“What’s a cat...” I couldn’t pronounce the word.
Xavier chuckled. I hated how my body reacted to the sound, like I wanted to jump up and ask him to hug me, to hold me close and not let go. He was a stranger, already giving me so much, I couldn’t ask for more.
“It’s something they use to assist injured patients use the bathroom without the need to wake up. Dr. Juliette wasn’t keen to leave you with it for too long, and since you woke yesterday, she decided to remove it along with the IV drip.”
I still didn’t know what he was talking about and looked toward the bathroom door, feeling that funny squeeze between my legs. I wondered if I had the strength to make it there without falling.
“Want me to take you to the bathroom?” he asked, dragging my eyes to him.
Even though I was afraid to accept it, this stranger’s voice had become my salvation because, as silly as it sounded, it soothed and scared me. At my nod, he removed the covers, slipped one hand under my thighs and the other behind my back. Whether he was my new master or not, I didn’t know, but as he lifted and cradled me against his hard chest, those kind eyes staring down at me filled every inch of me with weird compassion I didn’t want to hide from.
Suddenly embarrassed, I let my eyes drift over my white shirt. It was soft and big with buttons from my chest to my thighs. I knew it was his. He hadn’t dressed me in the clothes he mentioned that the doctor brought me. Happy, that made bubbles pop in my stomach.
Inside the bathroom, I glanced around. It was clean now, with no broken glass on the floor, blood, or mirrors. I shuddered, recalling what Master had done to my back.
Mine.
He marked me for life. I’d never be rid of him. Why couldn’t I forget that memory?
Another shiver shot through me. Xavier must’ve felt it because he stopped walking, and those warm eyes caressed my face again. “I’m sorry for what he did to you, love.” The sting behind my eyes surprised me. “You’re safe now. Once you heal, you’ll never see it again. I promise.” I frowned, wondering how I’d never see a scar again. As if he could see my doubt, he added, “remember, I won’t ask for your trust, just your calm.”
I should’ve paused to think about his words, I didn’t. “Yes.”
