He grabbed my head and pushed his cock back inside my mouth. Letting him have his way with me, I squeezed my eyes shut, drifting on a cloud of indifference seeking the landscapes I painted. Nothing mattered, not his scent, his taste, or his groans. I was his perfect kitten—a doll he created for his pleasure while my mind ran free, enjoying the colors I created in my head.
After Mama went away, I taught myself this trick. It helped with the loneliness and blocked out Master’s cruelty.
“I’m going to cream this fucking face, and you’re going to wear it tonight,” his loud grunt yanked me back to this white room I no longer considered pretty. He pulled out a second later, spraying my face with thick cum. Biting my tongue distracted nausea in my throat. I felt the warm liquid drip down my cheeks and chin. Still holding my hair, he jerked my head upward, forcing me to look at him. “Rub it in,” he ordered. “Every time you inhale, it will remind you who you belong to, who your Master is.”
I did as he asked, feeling disgusted as always. After so many years under this man’s lock and key, I hated myself more every day, waiting patiently for death.
By the time he finished, my mouth, knees, and head hurt. I was ready to crawl back to my room, sit on my small bed, and lose myself in my books. Cinderella, my favorite, would help me forget that I wanted freedom today, that it didn’t exist for a girl like me.
He shoved me back as he stuffed his cock into his trousers, and I lowered my gaze, spotting a drop of cum on his shoes. I wondered if he noticed and would clean it quickly since he was a man who liked neatness.
“Lick it, kitten,” he ordered as if he read my thoughts.
My hesitation cost me another slap. Biting my tongue, I leaned forward at the waist, and when my tongue touched his shoe, he pressed down on the back of my head, rubbing my face in it. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to breathe through the suffocation. After he released me, he crouched in front of me, gripping my chin until his fingers dug into my flesh.
“Beware my conditions, kitten. Midnight. That’s all you get. Tell anyone about me, and not only will I strip you of your skin, I’ll let every single man who has touched you thus far fill all your fucking holes simultaneously and have their way with you until you’re fucking dead.”
“Bloody hell.” Zarina’s gasp made him release my chin, rise, and walk away. “Shit.” She neared me, reached for a wet tissue from her make-up bag, and gently wiped my face. Afterward, she added more makeup and helped me to my feet. Wordlessly, I stared at her while she righted my clothing and pulled my hair into what she called a bun. Then holding my hand, she led me toward another door.
When I stepped outside, the first thing that hit me was the smell, and even though I had no idea how to describe it, I inhaled and lifted my eyes to the dark sky filled with millions of tiny lights blinking down at me. “So pretty,” I whispered.
Zarina’s laugh had me looking at her. “I forget. This is your first time seeing it.”
Not replying, my gaze shifted to the trees behind her. Although they weren’t close to where we stood, they were big. I wanted to run down and touch them. In my books, they were green and sometimes brown. Now, I couldn’t see the color, only their size.
“Come.” Zarina took my arm as Luke approached us in a shiny black car. I had no time to admire or touch it because Zarina opened a door. “Get in, honey.”
I did as she asked, watched her close the door then looked around, surprised by how big it was inside. Another new smell, and I wished I had a book to ask Zarina what all these scents were and write them down for me. If this was the only time I was allowed outside, I wanted them for my memories to create new stories.
Zarina got in next to me, and after she closed the door, the car began moving. My insides jumped at the new sensation of moving without walking. Still, I didn’t give into the laugh I knew was perfect for this moment.
“I’m sorry, Cinder,” Zarina reached for my hand and squeezed it. “I shouldn’t have goaded Kabir.”
Used to his vile treatment of my body, I’d learned to deal with the pain. Some days it hurt so bad I couldn’t sleep. Others, I’d block it out with my books. “How do you know my name?”
She smiled, glancing out the window. “I taught your mother to read.”
“You did?” I gasped, turning fully to face her.
“I did. Then you were born, and I had no idea why Kabir refused to let me visit again.” She stopped speaking, and questions raced around my head, unsure what to ask. Then she looked at me again. “One day, when Kabir was out, I visited the house. After some disgusting begging, Luke allowed me downstairs.” She shifted her gaze to the big man driving before her eyes found mine again. “I wanted to meet the child who’d fascinated my brother, but you were sleeping. So, I spent some time with your mother, and she told me your name.”
I felt my shoulders sink with sadness. “How can you say he’s fascinated when he hurts me? When he lets other men use me?”
Zarina shrugged. “Some people’s attention is caught and held by something spectacular, Cinder, and some just want control. Your eyes and beauty might’ve captivated my brother, but only today did I learn the power you hold over him. You haven’t given him full control over you, which drives his mood swings toward you. He’ll continue hurting you until you give him what he wants.”
While I understood most things, I couldn’t grasp some meanings and chose not to ask her to explain. “Do you know where Mama is?” I couldn’t remember the exact moment she left, only that she was there when I went to sleep, and when I opened my eyes again, she was gone.
Zarina shook her head. “Sorry, honey, I don’t.”
“Master said if I were his perfect kitten, he’d bring her back.” Sometimes, he used those words when he wanted me to do certain things. Once, I’d asked where Mama was, and he slapped me so hard my lips bled. I didn’t ask again. Now, I stared at the passing lights wishing they could lead me to Mama.
“Why don’t you just cry, let him see your real tears, and maybe he won’t hurt you?”
“Because I made Mama a promise I wouldn’t.” I looked at her again.
Zarina’s sudden laugh reminded me of Master when he was nasty or didn’t like how I did something. “Your mother is gone, Cinder. She left you. My brother hurts you, and you still keep her promise.”
“She didn’t leave me,” I tried to sound angry, but I didn’t know how to. “Master took her away.”
