“You think that’s what she’s doing?” I didn’t miss the disbelief in his tone. “You think she’s fallen in love with you because you saved her?”
“You believe otherwise?”
His laugh was soft. “Is it strange that I did the same thing with Levana?” I waited for him to elaborate. “I sent her away that first time during the ritual because I didn’t understand her hold over me, couldn’t process why I was so taken with a girl forbidden to me. Now, you’re doing the very same thing.”
“Difference was, you and Levana were destined to meet. I happened—”
“No,” he interjected with a soft vehemence I knew my son possessed when arguing a point with me. “Love isn’t always bequeathed by destiny or fate or curses. At times it’s built—”
“Out of that tremor running through you when her lips linger a breath away from yours. Out of how your heartbeat resonates with the cadence of hers when she’s in front of you. How your skin prickles at her lightest of touches. How that hypersensitive niggle races down your spine when she enters the room?” Exactly how Mikaela made me feel.
He nodded, smiling. “You taught me to look for the little nuances, right.” I laughed. “How we all find love might not be the same, but it sure as fuck speaks the same language to whoever is prepared not only to listen but understand,” he added.
I stared at him for a blank second. Hardly believable that just over a year ago my son was fighting his own demons for himself and the entire Brotherhood. Yet today, he sat before me, demanding that I not give up on love. “Seems like I’ve schooled you well.” I chuckled.
He wasn’t easily fooled. “Yes, and to the extent that I can see your evasive tactic as simple as the veins on the back of my hand.” He let out a long-drawn-out sigh. “I still haven’t established Levana’s ascendant line to Snow. And the only person capable of answering won’t speak to us.” He shook his head in a dismal snort, referring to Sandra, Levana’s mother, who’d given them a significant hint, nothing more.
I clenched my fists wishing I could tell him everything, lay down the secrets for him to understand and make of it what he wanted. But too much was at stake. As I saw it, they’d already broken the curse and needed no more background information. Saint’s annoyed expression was a dead giveaway that he wouldn’t rest until he found the answers he sought. A formidable stubbornness he’d inherited from me.
He began speaking again, drawing my attention. “Regardless, we broke the curse. You can no longer lie that your feelings aren’t genuine love for that girl. An emotion that alien to any Sinclair man ought to be given an ounce of discovery instead of being squashed.” He folded his arms over his chest and leaned back into his chair.
Slowly I nodded. “Maybe the curse wasn’t such a bad omen after all.”
“Meaning?”
I tried not to let the pent-up emotion curl up from the pit of my stomach. “Allowing yourself to fall in love comes at the risk of a painful price.” My laugh lacked mirth. “She’s so much younger than me. Twenty-four years old, to be exact. She has her whole life ahead of her.” That excuse sounded weak to my ears.
“So?” Saint scoffed. “You told me the world be damned with their idiosyncrasies about the age difference between me and Levana. Do you remember what else you said?”
I nodded. “Age is not a death wish waiting to happen. It’s a lifetime of experience waiting to be shared. Only the person on the other end can decide whether they want it.”
“You didn’t give her that opportunity to decide,” he argued.
Rising, I slipped my hands into my trouser pockets and moved to stare out the window. “She left, son. That should say something.”
“No, Father, you let her go,” his reply drew my gaze. “You conspired behind my back, sending me after Levana. Yet once I found her, I never let go, no matter how wrong it seemed or how much I fought the attraction or the risk I took to be with her. What makes your desires any less important?” He joined me at the window. “Sometimes you need to give in and let nature take its course. Isn’t that what you told me when I needed guidance?”
A soft sigh slid past my lips. “Saint—”
“Tell me I’m wrong,” he cut me off, his green gaze swirling with fervor. “Tell me you’re not in love with her and I’ll walk away. I’ll forget this discussion ever happened.” He took a step closer. “But if you do, you’re just a coward to love, to her, and most importantly, to your heart. You’re killing it before it’s had a chance to live free after a lifetime of imprisonment. It deserves a chance,” his voice dropped to a low plea on the last words. “Give it one.”
Silently, we stared at each other, his harsh breathing a testament to his anger and my softer one a witness to my indecision. I inhaled deeply. “Of course, I love her son.” I sighed, shaking my head.
“Then why...” he trailed off.
“Along with her body, her heart has also suffered a lifetime of confinement. The difference between her and me is that I had a chance to live free, enjoy life, and be blessed with kids despite being unable to love. Can we argue the same for her?”
He dragged a hand down his face with a deep inhale. “You’re giving her a chance to live before deciding for herself that you’re the one for her?”
“I’m giving her a chance to breathe without restraints, from the people who hurt her, from her savior, from her inability to decide for herself. I provided a safety net for her while she was under my care. Then we got rid of the men who were a threat to her life—”
“Got rid of?”
“Walk with me.” He stepped beside me until I paused outside the office entertainment lounge reserved for important client meetings. “You’ll need a drink for this.” I entered the room and went straight to the bar. With two cognacs in my hand, I walked out onto the balcony. Saint followed and accepted the glass I held out. Swirling the brown liquid until it coated the entire glass, I took a sip and looked at Saint. “Kabir was Mikaela’s father.”
He frowned before recognition took root. “Holy fuck.”
“That’s not even a quarter of the pervert he was.” I leaned over the railing, shaking my head. “When I first learned of our family’s ritual, I was sick to my stomach for days. But I was too young to intervene. It’s why I didn’t tell everyone about your mother’s pregnancy.”
