“But you took so much more in return, didn’t you?” I narrowed my eyes at him, my anger coming to the fore again, quickly and much more intensely. “I bled for you. I starved for you.” My breathing escalated. “I froze for you. I lived in fear for you.” My chest tightened. “I lived in darkness for you. I lived in loneliness for you.” My heart pounded. “I died for you.” I took another step closer. “You will not bleed, freeze, live in darkness, fear, or loneliness for me.” One more step. “But youwilldie for me.” Without thinking, I swung around, my hand lifted, and the knife came down hard, hitting the mattress right between Tahir’s spread thighs, nicking his balls.
He screamed, shaking like a frightened child. Then he stared down at his crotch, laughing. “Oh, God, I’m alive,” he mumbled repeatedly. “Thank you.” He laughed again.
“Don’t thank me, thank him.” I pointed to Xavier and walked to the door.
“What do you mean?” Kabir shouted.
Slowly, I turned to look at him. “It would be so easy to put a bullet in you and end your life. Can I live with that? Probably. Would it heal me? Never. Would it take away the pain? Probably not. But giving you what you always promised me might satisfy me.”
“What?” he grunted.
I smiled. “A slow death.” I walked out.
“What does she mean?” I heard him yelling.
“The doors will be sealed shut, and you’ll have the company of a thousand rats. If you can kill them all, good for you. If you can’t...” I heard Luke’s words behind me as I walked away. Kabir and Tahir’s screams echoed in the air before I felt Xavier come up next to me.
“I’m proud of you, Ella.” His hand slid around my waist. “You found your strength. Now you need to live.”
I looked at him. “Was I not?”
“Yes, but now you can breathe easier.”
I nodded, Mark’s words ringing in my head. “...with time, learn to find your feet and stand on it, all on your own...”
Chapter 57 – Xavier
Dawn was cresting thehorizon when we finally drove through the castle gates. Throughout the ride, Mikaela kept her hand in mine, but her eyes stayed riveted on the sky outside. Granted, I hadn’t expected everything to go as smoothly as it did, I couldn’t help ignoring the niggle that wouldn’t settle.
Nor could I decipher Mikaela’s state of mind. Whether she regretted the events or her heart finally accepted our decision. After Luke met with Mikaela to help capture Kabir, she wanted Kabir, Andrew, and Tahir locked in that room with a thousand rats for company—a feat Wilkes and his team accomplished.
“Are you okay?” I asked her as the van stopped outside the castle doors.
Her smile was half-hearted. I thought back to Mark’s conversation with her. About her believing she’d probably loved Kabir and wondered if there was some lingering aftereffect she was trying to understand.
“Did I play my part well,” she asked, her tone light.
