My chest heaved. I spun. The gun aimed at Kabir. My finger on the trigger. My muscles pumping, ready for the kickback.
Xavier moved so fast that I didn’t see him until he stepped in front of the gun. “Ella,” he whispered.
“No.” I didn’t look at him, my breath staggering out in rapid gasps, my chest rising and falling in quick sync, my vision blurred by tears I shouldn’t be shedding for that demon.
“When you’re consumed by anger and filled with hate for someone, they own your soul, love.” Slowly, he shook his head. “Vengeance, no matter how right, will tear your heart and torment your conscience. Let me do it for you.”
My only response was a flare of my eyes, nothing more. I knew what he was doing. I might be broken, but not enough to make me a killer. Not enough to stain my hands with blood I’d never be able to wash off even after it disappeared. Not enough to draw in a peaceful breath, knowing he’d never come after me again. Not enough to live knowing I’d killed my tormentor.
Xavier’s eyes told me he knew all of this, and once again, he wanted to shield me from that misery. Still, I shook my head. I had to. Kabir’s blood belonged to me. Then my hand began to shake. I shifted my gaze to Kabir.
“Don’t do it, Ella.” Xavier placed his hand over mine, holding the gun. “Do you really think one bullet, a quick death, is worthy of what you’d suffered at his hands, worthy of the anguish you still carry even months after you tried to overcome it, to live a normal life? Think of the restless nights, the agonizing cuts, the degradation, the anxiety, the fear. Think about your mama and how he took her from you?” He slid a finger under my chin and lifted until that blue gaze anchored me like it had done so many times. “Hurt him. Don’t kill him,” he said softly, his words for my ears only.
That had my breath choking in my lungs, remembering Mama’s last words, her love, her suffering. Our pain, our anguish, our torment. I shook my head again, this time for a different reason. “I want him to live.”
Kabir let out a low laugh. “See, Xavier, she still loves me. She’ll always choose me.” His eyes found mine. “My perfect kitten, we’ll be good together this time. I promise,” he cooed like I was a small child looking for her father’s love. “We’ll live a long, happy life.”
“Yes, Master,” the words slipped out mechanically. I heard Xavier’s harsh inhale, and my eyes shifted to his. “You gave me strength, always. Would you trust me just once to make my own decision?” My voice filled with the hope that he understood what I was asking.
For just a second, he frowned before the soft dip of his head followed a slow smile. “Yes, love, if that’s what you want.”
“I do.” I handed him the gun and glanced around the room. Luke and Zarina wore shocked expressions, while Tahir and Andrew smiled. “You, Andrew, and Kabir stole my innocence. Who was the fourth man?” I asked Tahir.
“My brother.”
“Where is he?” Xavier asked.
Tahir looked at Kabir, and both men looked at Andrew. “Sometimes the harshest enemies are those that pretend to be family and friends,” Andrew said, his eyes on Xavier.
“What does that mean?” Xavier fumed. “And what the fuck does that have to do with his brother?”
Andrew laughed. “Don’t worry, old friend, he doesn’t want Cinder if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Xavier shared a look with Wilkes leaving me wondering if he was in danger. Nearing Andrew, Xavier grabbed the front of his shirt. “What the fuck is the connection?”
Again, Andrew laughed. This time, it followed a coughing fit, forcing Xavier to let go. His eyes watering, Andrew said to Xavier. “We were friends when we could’ve been family. Now, you can kill me, and I’ll take my secrets to my grave.”
Xavier drew his gun and aimed it at Andrew. “Sir,” Wilkes stopped him.
A silent message passed between them. Xavier stuffed his gun back in the waistband of his trousers. He looked at me, and I felt the anger vibrate off him. Our past had somehow collided, bringing us together in the present.
How could I help after everything he’d done for me?
I looked at Kabir, Tahir, and Andrew. “Release Kabir, please,” I said to Ramone, standing behind Kabir.
Confused, he looked at Xavier. “Do it, Ramone.”
As soon as he did, Xavier stepped aside. Kabir stood and approached me. “I knew you’d come around, kitten. We’re meant to be together.”
