“I am yours to control, to worship, to pleasure if it would please you.” My cheeks burned, knowing I’d never been this forthright before.
I heard his sharp inhale, saw the raw heat in his eyes darkening to midnight blue. He brushed his knuckles down the side of my face. “Nothing will be more intoxicating than looking down at you quivering at my feet in breathless anticipation for my next command. But your smile, your laugh, watching you eat, sleep, dance pleases me more, and what you’re giving me now will please us.”
Butterflies descended into my stomach, and I was sure he could hear them flutter through my soft laugh.
“That is the most melodic sound I’ve ever heard. Don’t hide it.”
“Yes.” Another laugh slipped out. He sucked in a harsh breath. I liked how he responded to my emotions. I had many things to be grateful for, yet I’d suffer the same fate over and over, to have him rescue me, every single time.
“I need to give you safe words. Would you like to choose them?” I shook my head, not sure what would work. “What is your favorite color?”
“White.” I loved its purity. It always calmed me.
“And a color you don’t like?”
Immediately my thoughts jumped to that basement. Anxiety and something I didn't recognize swirled inside me, choking me. I shivered.
“Hey.” Xavier grasped my arms and slowly rubbed warmth into them. “You’re safe, remember?” How was he always able to read my thoughts?
“Green.” A color I hated. I saw the flare in his eyes. He knew what brought on my sudden hesitation.
“Listen to me carefully. If I do anything that makes you panic, uncomfortable, or you want me to stop, I want you to say green and shake your head if you can’t speak. I will watch your every move. Whenever I ask you how you’re feeling or what color, you say white or nod your head if you want me to continue. Understood?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Close your eyes.” I did as he asked, and something smooth settled over my eyes. My breath hitched. “It’s a white silk blindfold, shiny on both sides.” His lips brushed the shell of my ear, his voice, low and deep, caressed my skin, a foreign feeling yet so sensual, I embraced the shiver as he secured the soft material at the back of my head. “Take my hands and stand.” He grasped both my hands and pulled me up. “I’m going to lift you now.” I felt one of his arms slide under my thighs and the other behind my back before he lifted me into his arms and started walking.
“Where are we going?”
“Shh.”
Curious, I waited. When he set me down again, the first thing that registered was soft music followed by the subtle scent of lavender—a favorite and one of the first smells I fell in love with. Unlike the stage, the temperature here felt warmer until the slow drag of Xavier’s fingers down my arms caused a ripple of shivers over my body. Contrasting heat spiraled along my spine, his hot breath tickling my ear. I felt his lips drop light kisses across my shoulders. My moan was low and long.
“You like that?” One of his hands splayed out over my stomach, he pressed his body to mine. The warmth of his naked chest to my back made my skin tingle.
“Yes,” I whimpered, blushing at the feel of his thick arousal against my lower back. The urge to turn around and touch him blossomed in my chest.
“Kneel, love.” He guided me down with his hands on my arms until my knees touched a soft cushion.
My feet tucked under my arse, I kept my back straight, breasts out, and placed my hands on my thighs, palms up, my chin tilted slightly. His hands brushed through my hair, pulling it into a single braid before I felt the heaviness slide over one shoulder to my front.
“Palms together.” I did as he asked, and he placed something on them. My hands dipped slightly with the heaviness. “Can you feel it?”
Moving my fingers around the short handle with what felt like a cold ball at one end and long leather tendrils at the other, I gulped, knowing what it was. An immediate shiver passed over me, panic stealing my calm. “A flogger?” I swallowed against the dryness lining my throat. While I wasn’t a stranger to the whip and the flogger, one didn’t outrank the other in pain. I hated both.
Xavier removed the flogger from my hands as if he could see my fear. “Do you want me to stop?” My lips between my teeth, I shook my head. His hands came up to palm my cheeks, his lips slowly brushing over mine. “Do you trust me?”
“Always.”
“What do you want from me, love?”
Frowning, I didn’t understand his question. “I...I...”
“Take your time,” he encouraged.
Slowing my chaotic thoughts, I remembered the night of the ball and what he said. I had to step into this submissive relationship myself to appreciate it. “I want you to challenge my fears and help me uncover my hidden desires, especially those I have yet to discover.”
His harsh inhale came a second before he kissed my lips. “Good girl.” Next, he took one of my hands and placed something in it. “How does that feel?”
