Stupidly, the tears stung my eyes once again. “I don’t know what love is. All I know is that when he’s not around, my heart feels heavy, and when he appears, it’s like I’m floating, and I don’t want to come down from that cloud, ever.” I swiped my eyes, but the tears refused to stop. “I’ve never cried a day in my life, no matter how much I suffered, yet today, I’ve cried twice, and both times, for him.” I sobbed. “When he talks to me, holds me, touches me, I feel breathless like I’m scared someone will take him away. I want my fairytale to come true. But only with him. Is that wrong?” My throat constricted with tears, making me whisper the last sentence.
“No.” Levana drew me into her embrace. “We all find love in the most unlikely ways, Mikaela. I learned that you can’t tell the heart when or who to love. Strangely and with good reason, it has a mind of its own.”
I swiped at the tears, then without meaning to, I told her everything that happened, from the pool to what Xavier said when he returned. “When he rejected me, I tried hard to keep them from falling. I failed.” I wasn’t surprised when they fell for him because I knew Xavier was worthy of them, even if they came with a broken heart.
“No.” She laughed softly, linking both her hands with mine. “You didn’t fail, angel. They fell because your heart demanded it this time, not your head.”
“You think so?”
“Something you need to understand about the Sinclair men. They fuck hard, and sometimes it can seem rough. They’ll never hurt you, though. I’d go so far as to say their desires lie in hell, but they will love and take care of you like you were the very essence of heaven itself. Xavier feared that he hurt you and why he went away.”
My eyes rounded. “Xavier was scared? He’s such a strong man.”
Levana laughed. “Men fear hurting the woman they care for even if it means them holding back. Saint does.”
“But Xavier didn’t hurt me.”
She gave my hand a soft squeeze. “And why he needed the time away to accept he didn’t hurt you. To deal with probably being too rough with you. You’re a woman who’s been through a terrible ordeal, Mikaela. Xavier would rather hold back, just for you, than give into his darkness.” Sighing, she walked me back to the two-toned dress. “One day, I’ll tell you how Saint and I found each other. Sinclair men don’t fall in love. They demand it. Only because they’re still learning to understand its effect on their hearts. They’ve been under a curse for so long, they’re blind to the magic of love. They fight it for all the wrong reasons before they give in.”
I frowned. “Curse? I don’t understand.”
“You won’t.” She smiled. “Not yet.” She looked at the dress I longed to wear. “For now, in a town filled with any woman he can have, you must help Xavier find you. In his own way.”
“How do I help him find me, though?”
“By showing him what you truly want, what you truly desire. So he can decide for himself what he can and can’t give you.”
I fingered the dress I liked. “Mama said that one day my prince will come find me. But I don’t think Xavier is my prince.”
“You don’t?”
I shook my head. “He is my king. And even though I’m learning to believe I am a queen, I don’t think I can dethrone his heart enough to steal it.”
She stared at me, and I wasn’t sure if she pitied me or found my declaration stupid. Then she cupped my face. “Keep believing that, Mikaela. Because every woman deserves to believe she is a queen whether a man loves her or not. Whether she finds her king or not. My aunt Trina once told me I should never let my head rule my heart if it knows what it wants. But I should not let my heart take bullshit, either. Or be crushed for no apparent reason unless I’m the one to walk away.”
“Your aunt told you that?”
“She’s cool like that.” Levana grinned. “She also said that once we give ourselves unconditionally to a man and he rejects us, he should never get the same version of us twice.”
My brow puckered. “What does that mean?”
Her laugh was mischievous. “Exactly what Saint wants. For me to create some magic that when you walk into the room, Xavier doesn’t just take note, he’s blinded by everything else around him. Another version of you.” She squeezed my arm lightly. “Now, are you ready to go to that ball?”
This time I nodded.
Forty-five minutes later, Saint came to fetch us. His arm around Levana’s waist, they stood on the landing as I walked out of my bedroom. His eyes on me, he let out a low whistle. “Magic indeed.”
Blushing, I smoothed a hand down my tense stomach muscles. “I feel like Cinderella, and you’re both my fairy godparents.”
Saint chuckled. “I’ve been called worse.”
“God, Mikaela, I wish you could see yourself.” Levana sighed, quickly adding, “not that I’m saying you should.” She gave me an apologetic smile.
Xavier had probably explained why he’d had all the mirrors removed or covered throughout the castle. “Sometimes I wish I could too.” In that single moment, memories flooded my mind.
Saint must’ve noticed because he shook his head. “None of that now, Mikaela.” A raised brow at me followed his firm yet friendly words, and after I nodded, he kissed Levana lightly. “Thank you, baby, you did good. She’s stunning.”
Her genuine smile told me she was confident in his love not to feel threatened by his admiration for another woman.
