Just the thought of him getting married set my teeth on edge. Ryleigh was cool, beautiful and admittedly perfect for Shay. They made a handsome couple even if he didn’t love her. There was no reason to hate her either, because she could love him freely whereas mine would be wrong on so many levels. Although a part of me still resented Shay for going ahead with the wedding, I had to accept that whatever my heart was feeling, nothing could come of it. In the eyes of society, family and friends, he was my brother. He could never be anything more.
“When do you leave?” he finally asked, drawing my gaze.
“Saturday evening,” I replied, knowing he wouldn’t like my answer.
His soft frown became a full-blown irritation I was wholly familiar with when he wasn’t happy. “What about the reception?” he snapped. His unconcealed anger made me wish it was something more than just brotherly concern.
Get a grip, Skye.
My silent admonishment did nothing to banish the regretful flutter in my heart that began the moment Shay mentioned he was marrying Ryleigh. Avoiding his gaze, I concentrated on buttering another slice of toast I didn’t want. “The ship sets sail from Miami on Sunday evening. I didn’t want to miss the wedding, so it’s the last flight I can make.”
“Fuck, Skye.” He shot up from his seat, startling both Dad and me.
“What’s wrong, son?” Dad asked, his expression just as baffled as mine.
Shay’s gaze drifted between the two of us before he snorted a laugh and muttered, “nothing.” He walked away, leaving my father and me staring after him.
Unable to stall the tears I’d worked hard to hide, my blurred vision met my father’s eyes. As if he’d cotton onto my aching heart, his frown softened to a smile.
“I’m sorry, Angel.”
I wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for and before I could ask, the sudden blare of his phone’s ringtone cut through the air. He gave my hand a little squeeze and stood to answer. Dropping my face to my hands, I hiccupped on a sob. Never in my life had I envisioned, I’d say goodbye to Shay, not in this way. Not with something unspoken between us. Yet, my heart knew with a certainty that it was for the best. For whom, that didn’t matter.
Unsure how long I sat there, I lifted my head, sensing his presence before his arms slipped around me, drawing my back tight to his chest.
“I’m sorry, Blue,” Shay whispered against the top of my head. “I didn’t mean to shout, you just caught me by surprise.” When I said nothing, he released his hold on me and slowly swiveled the stool until I was facing him.
The look of anguish on his face twisted my heart and I sucked in a breath, faltering as I did. It sounded like another hiccup. Cursing under his breath, he wiped my tears with both thumbs.
“Do you hate me?” the question slipped out before I could stop it.
His face contorted in shock. “Hate you?” he asked, half grunt, half groan. “Fuck, Blue. How can you even ask me that? You’re my everything, you know that, right?”
“Am I?”Shit.I shouldn’t have asked that. It would open a door I had no idea how to close. Funny that at age seven this discussion would’ve been acceptable, normal. Now though, I skated dangerously thin ice and likely to sink if his answer didn’t sit well with me.
He frowned. “What did I do to make you think any different?” His gray gaze swirling with a hundred different emotions I struggled to understand, trapped mine. “Blue?” he whispered, cupping my face. “For the last sixteen months while I was away, all I could think of was you, what you were doing, who you were falling in love with, whose heart you were breaking, if you were sleeping well, eating well—”
“Still, you stayed away,” I murmured, my gaze mesmerized by the liquid tenderness in his.
“Because I had to.” He sighed.
“Because of one kiss, one touch?” I gulped, knowing I shouldn’t bring it up. So far, I hadn’t.
Slowly, he shook his head, leaning closer until I felt his warm breath skim my lips, until his woodsy cologne infiltrated every pore, every vein, every inhale. Suddenly, every inch of me tensed, waiting, desperate. The inexplicable heat I’d felt that night of prom when he’d danced with me, tickled the apex between my thighs once more and had my breath speeding up.
Kiss me, Shay.
I bit my lip to keep from saying it out loud. His eyes immediately dropped to my lips, his jaw pulling taut as though he battled some internal war no one would be privy to. When I let the tip of my tongue slide out to lick over my bottom lip, his gaze skated upward to meet mine. The same raw hunger I’d seen in his eyes on prom night glowed brighter with each labored breath.
“Shay,” I murmured, my palms coming to rest on his toned abdomen. As if he sensed my need, he leaned in closer still, another inch and his lips would touch mine.
Somewhere behind me, the sound of approaching footsteps exploded in my ears, stealing the moment. Immediately, his hands dropped away, and he stepped back. His breathing just as ragged as mine like he’d fought the biggest war of his career, I guessed. Because it certainly felt that way to me and I wasn’t a soldier, merely a victim of a battle I’d never win.
“Shay?” Ryleigh’s soft call had me swiveling the stool, my heart a palpitating mess. “Everything all right?” She stood at the kitchen entrance, her brow stuck in a frown I sometimes believed a permanent fixture.
My gaze flicked between the two of them before he replied. “Yeah. Blue’s breaking my heart here.” His laugh lacked mirth, his eyes sending me signals I’d never understand. “She’s planning to go work on a cruise ship and miss our reception.” His tone accusing, he dragged a hand through his hair and moved away to pour himself another coffee.
“Oh,” was all she said. “Maybe that’s a good thing.” She walked further into the kitchen.
