As silly as it sounded, I’d fallen in love and gotten my heart broken all in one go.Girls can’t fall in love with their brothers, idiot.“Okay, I’ll allow myself to call it a crush then,” I mouthed off to my inner reasoning.
By the time dusk settled over the horizon, a slight chill made me shiver. I rubbed my arms cursing the sleeveless summer dress I’d worn and not bringing a sweater with me. But I wasn’t ready to leave. Wasn’t ready to face Shay and his fiancée sitting at our dining table celebrating their engagement on the night I should be praising my graduation. I’d sleep in the car if I had to, or I could just go visit Laika.
This was a safe and popular hangout for couples or anyone needing a little escape. Several cars had already parked in various spots, their owners seeking privacy. I heard another vehicle approach but didn’t bother to check.
So when Shay’s soft, “Blue,” floated through the air, I startled and glanced up as he rounded the car to stand at the side. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he sounded more worried than angry.
“Now you found me, what do you want,” I retorted.
With a soft sigh, he climbed onto the hood and parked himself next to me, mirroring the way I sat.Dior Sauvage, his favorite cologne, filled my nostrils. I resisted inhaling deeply, instead, focused my gaze on the water turning different shades of pink to black.
“I’m sorry, Blue, I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”
I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn’t look at him, fearing I’d breakdown. So far, I’d been good at keeping my tears at bay.
“Skye, look at me, please,” he pleaded.
Desperate for his attention, like always, I dragged my gaze away from the water to meet his. The corners of his mouth curled in that devastating smile that would melt ice. He reached out and ran gentle knuckles down my cheek. I leaned into his touch and the dam broke.
“Blue,” he breathed, sliding his arms around me and pulled me into his chest.
“I thought you came back for me,” I sobbed into his t-shirt.
His grip tightened around me. “I did. Today was supposed to be about you and why I told Ryleigh not to say anything yet,” he said, his voice hoarse with unshed tears. That made me cry harder. “She’s pregnant.”
Those words ripped right through me, wrenching at my already broken heart. I jerked back in shock. “Pregnant?”
Shay looked out at the dark water, illuminated only by spotlights hidden among the trees that circled its embankment. Even in the fading light I could see the sadness on his face. This wasn’t the vision of a man filled with the usual pre-marital bliss I expected. When his gaze met mine, they were wet, and pain swathed me in a similar blanket. Whatever he was going through, was tearing him from the inside out, just the way I felt.
“This wasn’t how I pictured my future, Blue.” I grasped his hand in mine, giving him some comfort. “I wanted a baby,” he added, “but not right now and certainly not like this.” I frowned but he didn’t elaborate. Something cautioned against pushing him for a reason. He leaned back against the windshield, folded his other arm under his head and stared up at the darkened sky twinkling with a million stars peeking between the clouds.
“Then why go through with this marriage if you’re not ready,” I asked.
His gaze shifted to me. “Because I wouldn’t want my child’s first experience of love is being born to parents who don’t love each other, living separate lives, careening between homes just to spend a few hours with each parent. That’s not fair to any child. They didn’t ask to come into this world, we make that choice for them and it’s only fair that we fill it with love no matter how mismatched or unrequited it is.”
My heart flared with hope and splintered at the same time. “You don’t love Ryleigh?”
His laugh was a soft echo in the silent night, the hand I held, squeezing mine. “I loved once, Blue and I’ll probably love her for the rest of my life. What I have with Ryleigh is comfort, I guess. So, I’ll marry her, have the baby and give them both the life they deserve.” His words elicited a shiver I couldn’t stop. He was marrying to fulfil an obligation. “You’re cold. Come here.” Before I could protest, he yanked me down to his chest, curling both arms around me.
Immediate warmth filled every nerve, every pore. I barely resisted a sigh and slid an arm across his hard stomach, his heartbeat a soothing rhythm beneath my ear. Together, we laid there, staring up at the dark sky, comfortable with not saying anything until I broke the silence.
“Shay?”
“Hmm,” he sounded sleepy.
“This girl you love, does she love you?”
His grip tightened around me, and I felt his deep breaths beneath my cheek. “She’s my forever, Blue, even if she doesn’t know it. I gave her my heart a long time ago knowing I couldn’t take hers in return.”
Holding back a sob, I sucked in a deep breath. “And you’re okay with that?”
I heard him sigh and my throat thickened with emotion. “You don’t choose who you love, the heart does and right now mine cries in silence. But sometimes the greatest sacrifice brings the deepest love. I trust fate.”
Chewing my bottom lip, I thought of all the women in town that he could possibly have feelings for. I couldn’t pinpoint someone worthy of his love. What if she wasn’t from our town? I winced at the jealousy spinning through me and lifted my head to look down at him. “If you love her this much, why not be with her?”
“Because of the ties that bind us, Blue. We can’t break them.” He tapped my nose lightly and urged me back down onto his chest, but I didn’t miss the underlying longing in his tone.
What ties could possibly prevent him from being with the woman he truly loved. Strangely, my heart ached for him, that he was willing to sacrifice his love for the baby. I shivered at the thought of living the rest of my life without him.
