“So sweet, just like I knew you’d be,” he licked his lips and I blushed.
Wow.My first orgasm with a man, not just any man. Shay. The man I’d loved all my life. Selfishly, I reveled in the moment, in the reminiscence of his kisses, his touch, his need.
I didn’t think when he released my hand and I lowered to my knees, touching his belt buckle. “I want to do the same for you, can I?”
He stared down at me, confusion swimming in those grays. Then he closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them it was like the spell between us had broken. Shaking his head, he backed away from me. His eyes wide with fear, his expression morphed into disbelief. “What the fuck did I do?” Before I could respond, he pivoted sharply, grabbing the counter to keep from falling over.
Startled by the ferocity of his shock, I stood and moved toward him. “Shay—”
“Don’t,” he cut me off without turning around. The way his shoulders lifted and fell, he was breathing hard.
Tears sprang to my eyes and my bottom lip trembled. “What,” I began but he was already staggering toward the door.
There, he paused without looking at me. “I’m sorry, Blue,” he said, his tone heavy with regret.
Embarrassment, shock, uncertainty, hurt, they all fought to take over the air to my lungs. What did I do? Hand on my heaving chest, tears rolling down my cheeks, I stared at the door, willing him to return and explain.
I don’t know how long I stood there before I took a moment to compose myself, picked up my torn panty and left the kitchen. On my way down the hallway, I glanced into the living room and paused. Frowning, I entered. “Shay,” I called out, softly.
Lying on the floor on his stomach, he didn’t move. I inched closer and watched him for a moment aware he must’ve passed out. Not wanting to wake Dad, I ran upstairs, fetched a blanket and returned to cover Shay.
“Hope your dreams aren’t as troubled as you seem to be, Shay,” I whispered before leaving the room.
In my room, I sat on the ledge outside my window and stared up at the moon, wondering if what Shay and I had done would change us, make us strangers or bring us closer. Whatever it was, I knew things would never be the same again. Or worse, he might hate me.
“I’ve loved you for so long, Shay, I’d forgo my fantasies, and my desires for something more if it means I can keep you close, forever. I don’t want anything to change between us. Don’t regret what you did, just remain the brother I’ve always needed.” My heart bleeding with sadness, I rested my elbows on my bent knees, cupped my chin and cried.
If only I hadn’t ruined us...
20. Sacrifice – Elton John
Shay – 29 years; Skye17 years
Sunlight seeped through my lids, making me squeeze my closed eyes tighter to shut out the intrusion. But the abrupt hammering in my head took over. I popped open an eye. “Would someone please stop that fucking pounding.” My roving eye focused to ascertain I was lying flat out on my stomach. I lifted my head and squinted around, waiting for the other eye to sufficiently fixate on the living room floor. Why the fuck was I not in my room? I raised one corner of the blanket covering me and stared at it dumbfounded. Why was I still in my jeans and T-shirt, here? A couple of blinks had me pulling up onto my knees.
“Christ.” I cupped my nape, recognizing the thumping was in my head. Massaging my eyes with my thumb and forefinger, I cursed repeatedly. “What the fuck did you give me to drink, Griff?” I muttered.
