This is wrong, Shay.
Reasoning took root and I jerked back, my hands falling to my sides. I couldn’t take this from her, the innocence of her first love.
Fuck.A groan slipped through as I stepped away, dragging a hand through my hair. She blinked her confusion, her naivety so fucking addictive, so fucking perfect. Without another word, I swung around and left the room. I needed to get the fuck out of there.
How I made it to Griffin’s home was a miracle. Because every second it took to walk away from Skye, my heart and head declared war on my body. Fighting me every step of the way that when I stepped into Griffin’s room, he took one look at my face and vaulted off his bed.
“Come on, bro, I have just what you need.” He directed me toward their entertainment room. Needing to take the edge off, I didn’t resist.
Nor did I decline the first whiskey he forced into my clenched fingers or the second one. By the third, I was starting to relax and when the fourth touched my lips, I spilled my deepest darkest desires to my best friend.
I wanted Skye. Not just her body but her heart, her love, her kisses, her sweet lilac scent on my skin when I touched her, her beautiful blue eyes opening next to me every morning. Her soft laugh in my ear when I tickled her sensitive spots. I fucking wanted it all. I wanted her eternity because without her, mine was nothing more than an empty shell of oblivion.
“What the fuck are you going to do about it?” Griffin lazed on the couch opposite me, his grin filled with an undisguised ‘I told you so.”
The whiskey took charge of my response, “make her mine.” And I didn’t stop drinking. Whether it was to work up the courage and go after what I wanted or numb the need I shouldn’t be feeling for Skye, I didn’t know. I just drank. I lost track of time, voices around me made no sense, my vision blurred, and my head spun. My legs resembled rubber bands as I weaved through Griffin’s home. “Fuck, I’m plastered,” I slurred.
“You are.” I felt him at my side, holding my arm. “Where are you going?”
I looked at him, trying to focus, my eyes suddenly flaming with hot tears I couldn’t hold back. “Blue...” I mumbled the rest, unsure what I was saying, he did, though.
“You shouldn’t, Shay,” he cautioned, hesitation claiming his tone. “Sleep it off before you go home.”
Leaning against a wall, I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, trying to make sense of the incoherent buzzing in my brain. Yet through it all, Skye’s perfect face materialized behind my lids. I had to see her. Only she could calm my soul, bring me the peace I craved. But could I step away? Because nothing mattered more than her happiness, not even the extent of my love.
If only you knew...
19. Kiss And Say Goodbye – The Manhattans
Skye – 17 years; Shay– 29 years
After Shay left me standing in the living room, it took a long while before I trudged upstairs to my room. I was sure he was going to kiss me. The way he leaned into me, the expression on his face, said it all. Baffled why he hadn’t, I removed my dress, took a long, slow bath then pulled on a mid-thigh New York Yankees baseball shirt. Exhausted, I climbed into bed, but sleep wouldn’t come as I kept going over everything that happened since Shay brought me home.
A couple of hours later, still unable to sleep, I went downstairs to grab a warm drink. “Hey.”
“You’re still up, Angel.” Dad came in the door as I reached the bottom step. He looked as tired as I felt. “How was the prom?” He kissed my brow. I rolled my eyes and he chuckled. “That bad?”
