13. Eyes Off You – Prettymuch
Skye – 17 years; Shay29 years
I gazed at myself in the mirror, not recognizing the reflection staring back at me. On his recent trip to LA for a shoot, Dad had bought and surprised me with the dress a week ago. Paired with silver heels, the sky-blue off-shoulder bodice, dark blue lace trim and navy tulle layered over the Quinceanera sweep, made me look like a princess. It fit perfectly and the contrasting blues made my eyes pop. An up-style hairdo with soft ringlets Aunt Sarah had created and silver earrings added a touch of elegance.
Give me a pair of ripped jeans, sneakers and an over-sized sweater and I’d live in it for a week. So, it was surprising that I liked how good this dress made me feel inside and out. Smiling, I held the skirt and twirled around. When I stopped, I flattened a palm against my stomach and sighed. What would Shay say if he saw me now? Would he like the dress? Another sigh gathered in my throat, and I swallowed it down.
Get a grip, girl. He’s out of bounds.
Girls didn’t lament over their brothers unless they had a screw loose. Unfortunately, I had a few detach since his last visit home. As much as I consoled myself that it wasn’t my fault I’d walked in on him naked in his room, I couldn’t help wondering if his longer than normal deployment this time was indeed my fault.
I moved over to my nightstand and withdrew the wooden box carved with my name on the lid from the top drawer. Shay had made it for my ninth birthday, just before his first tour began. In there, I kept his letters, little mementoes I treasured and all the roses he’d given me for each birthday, now dried and kept in a small bottle.
My roving fingers stopped over his letter I received six months ago. I picked it up and stared at the familiar cursive writing on the envelope. During his previous deployments he’d always called when he could. This time, he’d only sent one letter that was too short and way too staid for Shay’s usual banter. My heart plummeted a little and my grip tightened on the letter. He’d never gone a month without calling or texting before. Sadly, a whole freaking year had gone by with nothing but one single note.
I sighed, wishing I could wipe away that last memory if it brought Shay back to me. Yet despite that thought, I was momentarily disgusted with myself. Because as much as I hated to admit it, that visual from our final interaction refused to dissipate and no matter how wrong it was, I’d shamelessly masturbated to that very image, more than once.
Yup, truly and utterly demented and you’re going to hell.
“You should burn in hell, you filthy child,” I verbalized the words I imagined Grandma would use on me if she ever found out. I knew she detested my mother and that hate traversed to me when Mom died. Any act, however innocent on my part, would just add fuel to an already simmering fire.
Shaking my head, I dropped the letter into the box and shoved it into the drawer, shutting it with a hard slam. Back in front of the mirror, I added finishing touches to my lipstick just as a soft knock sounded on my door.
“Come in.” I patted my lips and turned to Aunt Sarah entering.
“My God, Skye,” she gasped. “Your mom would’ve been so proud of the beauty you’ve become.” Her hand on her heart, her gaze roved over me. “I think Alan has his work cut out for him tonight, you’re going to steal hearts.” She touched a palm to my cheek.
I laughed. Good thing my heart was taken by a man forbidden to me.Shut up, will you? “Is he here?” I forced myself to think of Alan who’d practically cornered me every break for almost a month asking me to the prom.
She nodded. “Being interrogated by your dad and Jim.” She chuckled referring to her husband. “I swear if I had daughters instead of four sons, I’d have a riot on my hand around every prom. Jim insisted he had to act like your father’s wingman since Shay isn’t here.” The sudden mention of him, drooped my shoulders a bit and she noticed. “Would’ve been nice if he were here since he’s been there for every single milestone, right?”
I nodded, biting back the tears and turned away to do a last-minute check on my overall look. “Doesn’t get any better than this,” I whispered.
“It doesn’t have to because you’re gorgeous.” Aunt Sarah laughed, linking her fingers with mine. I was glad for her presence. Since Mom passed and Shay’s constant call to duty, Aunt Sarah became my go to mom as I liked to call her. “Sweetheart.” She chewed her lip anxiously. “Your grandmother is here.”
My brows shot up. “Oh.”
As Mom’s friend, Aunt Sarah was aware of my grandmother’s dislike of me and my mother. Dad and Shay, however, made sure it never affected me in any way. After Mom died, I refrained from visiting Grandma. When she visited us, which was rarely, I stuck around only to greet her then I’d disappear to my hideout until she left.
