She nodded.
Tangling my fingers in her hair, my hips pistoned back and forth, and I fucked her mouth hard until tears spilled down her cheeks. She held onto my thigh with one hand, nails digging into my flesh, her other hand rolling over my balls. My cock swelled and a moment later, I stilled, hot cum hitting the back of her throat.
“Swallow, baby.” She did. “Fuck, yes.”
My body shook and my hands dropped from her hair to grasp the vanity. Her eyes on me, slowly she sucked my softening cock until my breathing evened out. Grasping her arms, I lifted her against my body and kissed her hard and long. When I finally released her, we stood staring at one another, our breathing shallow, her smile shy, mine disbelief. I had no idea what the fuck just happened, but I loved it.
“Your first blowjob?” I teased, pulling up my shorts.
She laughed. “I guess I’ll keep having firsts with you, right?”
Even though I smiled, that comment left a deep emptiness in my chest. “Take a shower.” I kissed her brow then left.
When I went downstairs, Dad had already arrived and stood at the grill chatting to Caleb. Avoiding Caleb’s eyes, I greeted my father and moved to the cooler to grab a beer. I was halfway through the bottle when Paris sidled up to me.
“You do know your bathroom hangs over this balcony.” She grinned.
It took a moment for her words to register. “Fuck.”
“Don’t worry. I’m sure it was just me who heard.” Her laugh was soft. “But I’d suggest you make it official before things get a little awkward.” Her gaze drifted to Caleb who was laughing at something Dad said.
“I will,” I vowed without a plan.
The rest of the evening passed pleasantly regardless of the secret and lies. When Blue, Caleb and Paris said goodnight, leaving behind Jesse, Griffin and Dad, I found myself on the balcony, thinking.
The last few weeks had been good. Having Skye in my space again was peaceful. Griffin even more so. That child was intelligent, quick to learn, and competitive like his mother when it came to video games. Only with him I didn’t need to let him win, he did it all on his own. The more time I spent with him, the closer we grew.
Surprisingly the nightmares had become fewer. I was sleeping better and the medication to keep me de-stressed, not needed. I’d reached a point where I was comfortable talking about my shit, feelings and whatever else the psychologist raised during our Skype sessions. He’d complimented my progress and reduced our appointments.
Yet through it all, my heart cried for Skye. I wanted more. I wanted every day, every hour, every minute, every fucking second with her. Tonight, again, I’d taken her from Caleb. Yeah, it was wrong. Honestly, I didn’t care. She was mine first and I’d be damned if I was going to give her up. I’d wait an eternity if I had to, just to have moments with her.
Still, she wasn’t prepared to give me more. Maybe there was a danger in loving someone too much, you didn’t know when to stop.
“She’s yours, you know.”
I turned to find Caleb at my rear, holding out a bottle of beer to me. Taking it, I frowned. He leaned his elbows on the rail and looked out at the dark water.
“What did you mean just now?” I took a swig of the drink.
“Skye is yours, Shay. I pretended to date her at her request.”
My drink paused mid-sip before I lowered the bottle and turned fully to face him. “I don’t understand.”
Straightening, he sighed. “Skye and I started off as friends and I’d asked her out once, but she turned me down. Said she wasn’t ready for anything permanent. That she was stupidly still in love with a man who was off limits. I didn’t push and we were never uncomfortable around each other. In fact, we got closer. Then you arrived, and she was unsettled, anxious, walking on possible tenterhooks. Asked if I could pretend to be her fiancé and I knew you were that man.” He took a drink. “At first, she wouldn’t say why. Then two days ago, I found her at Rose’s coffee shop. She seemed troubled and confused. I coaxed her into telling me the truth.”
“And did she?” I asked even though I knew the answer.
He nodded. “She thought I’d judge her, I didn’t.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve been in love, Shay, and like Skye, mine was forbidden too so I brought my son out here looking for peace. I couldn’t expose Jesse to the shit stemming from my love life. So, if anyone understands what you two went through, it’s me.”
Staring out at the distance, I was silent for a moment, unsure how to navigate this news. Caleb had become my winning angle and motivation to make Skye see me, the man who’d loved her forever. I’d shown her both sides, crass and gentle me, hoping one of them would make a dent. Why then was she still intent on pretending.
“What am I doing wrong, Caleb,” I asked without thought then looked at him.
“You have to tell her what she needs to hear.”
