I shrugged. “Honestly, I can’t explain what I feel for her. Only that when I see her with other guys, I want to...” I left the words hanging, not sure I should be having this discussion with her father ormy friend.
“Kill them? Hang them by their fucking balls.” He let out a choked laugh. “Have you told her how you feel?”
This time my laugh came out on a strangled snort. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” A simple enough question, only Dean couldn’t see the picture like I could.
“Because fucking her would be wrong on so many levels.” By now I was damned sure the whiskey had taken over this bold conversation and for some reason I didn’t care.
I heard him sigh. “She’s a student, isn’t she, Saint?”
The biting ball of unease in my gut mushroomed with the direction of this conversation. Threading dangerous waters, I was bound to drown with no lifejacket to keep me floating if I said the wrong thing. “I’ll neither deny nor agree to that just yet.”
“If you haven’t done anything wrong, there’s nothing to fear then, is there?” He gave my shoulder a squeeze.
Oddly, I feared nothing.
Is shoving my cock down her throat considered right then?
“Look, who am I to judge. I mean we both know I don’t exactly have an innocent past. And even though I wronged you, you’re still here today treating our friendship like nothing happened to soil it. Do what you think is right for her and your heart.” He downed the other drink and tapped his glass lightly against the marble counter.
We sat in silence for a moment, letting the exotic music calm us. He was right, we had a problem, and I chose to forget about it and move on. Pity it took us so many years to reunite. And if that wasn’t enough, now I would be a serious problem for him, if I chose to take anything further with Levana.
“Why don’t you bring her over next weekend.” Dean broke the silence, surprising me with his offer. “The girls and I have planned a barbeque with some of their friends. If you do speak to her, don’t tell her I told you this. But I think Levana is dating Davien. They’ve been spending way too much time locked up in her room every time he comes over.”
That overshare just about killed me on the inside. I gripped the glass in my hand, trying hard to restrain myself from throwing it against the mirror and watch it all shattering like my heart was doing right now. An explosive emotion I was alien to.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
“I’m sure they’re just friends.” I downed my whiskey and keeping my expression blank, I stood.
Dean looked at me, his face a mask of surprise before he laughed. “I know you have a soft spot for her, Saint but don’t cover for her. Although, I can’t say I’m not please. Levana’s been through some tough times, and given her affinity for chocolate cake and pizza which I’m guilting of indulging, I didn’t think it likely that she’d have a boyfriend. But Davien is good for her.”
And I’m not, I ground my teeth. Fuck, the man was so blind to his daughter’s beauty that he hadn’t put two and two together to reach the fucking conclusion that it was his daughter I wanted. I needed to walk away before the whiskey in me decided to confess my dark deeds with his daughter.
“Don’t become your wife, Dean,” I gritted, clenching my fist to keep from breaking something. “You’re right. Your daughter’s been through shit with her mother, so have a little faith in Levana. Don’t throw her to the wolves because you think she’s incapable of having a man fall in love with her just because she loves chocolate cake or whatever the fuck you think makes her unappealing.” I walked out knowing if I hadn’t given myself away yet, I was a second away from doing so if I stayed.
Only once I slipped behind the wheel, did I allow myself to breathe calm into my body. Tonight, was not only going to test the restraints of my limits but the longest one since that night I sent her away from the ritual. I hadn’t slept for almost three days back then, what would the count be this time.
