“After he began spending time here with dad, he’d become real friendly and I sort of mistook it for something special.”
“You told him you had feelings for him, didn’t you?” She sighed, when I confirmed with a bob of my head. “Oh, darling.” She caressed my cheeks. “He turned you down?”
I jumped up and started pacing to shake off the tears that sat just on the edge of my annoyance. “He did. But it’s his last words before leaving that have me baffled,” I moaned, trying to pull myself together.
“What did he say?”
I stopped pacing to look at her, trying to make sense of his words even though it’d been a week since he said them. “That although he wanted something with me, he couldn’t because a girl like me needed a boy who could worship me. Not a man like him who’d use my body until he got his fill. He’s not into the relationship thing.” I gave her the condensed version.
“I don’t know whether I should be impressed or angry with his behaviour.” Aunt Trina’s laugh was light. “He sounds like a man who knows what he wants, not afraid to take it but at the same time, he’s being cautious with you. That’s commendable, darling.”
“Are you saying I should stay away?” My shoulders dipped in disappointment, and she noticed.
Rising, she grasped my arms in a gentle hold. “Do you like him, Levana?” I nodded. “Do you want something more with him?”
Was that a trick question?
“Yes. But—”
She shook her head, cutting me off. “Are you willing to go to any lengths to get him?” Unsure, I lifted my shoulders in a shrug. “No, darling, you have to be sure,” she softly scolded. “Going after a man like him needs confidence and strength.”
“Can you show me how?” I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth, not believing what I’d just asked.
“I know it's morally wrong for me to advise any young girl to go after an older man. Given the world we live in today, we tend to find love in the most unlikely of places or circumstances, for that matter. Gone are the days when women must conform to societal pressure to remain pure, virginal, and submissive just because she’s told to do so. We have just as much power as men. Only they don’t see it. We have to show them we do. If we don’t, we find ourselves stuck in situations we don’t like or that makes us unhappy and living a life of regret.”
I knew my aunt had a traumatic past, and all her advice came from experience. The emotions chasing one after the other across her face and too quick for me to fathom had me wondering what she’d gone through to make her this stern toward men. To give me advice that said go forth and conquer, society be damned.
“What if he continues to say no. Doesn’t that make me like a slut or something.”
Her laugh was so soft and feminine. “Just because we show a little enthusiasm for wanting a man, doesn’t make us sluts, darling. There’s nothing wrong with a woman going after what she wants, even if it’s a man.” Straightening, she brushed my hair back from my face and smiled. “Never let your head rule your heart if it knows what it wants. But don’t let your heart take bullshit either. Or be crushed for no apparent reason, unless you’re the one to walk away. We’re women, we have one power men don’t have.”
God, I loved this woman, each moment I spent with her which unfairly, wasn’t a lot. “What’s that?”
“We’re survivors.” Her eyes took on a distant look, again making me wonder what she’d endured to make her this tough. Then she blinked before her gaze rested on my face again. “Always remember one rule in life, darling. Whether you get the man of your dreams or not, no man should get the same version of a woman, twice. If you gave him yourself unconditionally the first time and he rejected it, then you seduce or mindfuck the hell out of him, the second time round.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again?” I asked, having heard that quote a few times from my grandmother in my younger years, especially when things became daunting.
Aunt Trina nodded. “But it’s more than that. Failure is integral to success.”
“I don’t understand.”
Her smile was wicked. “Right now, if you do nothing, Saint will assume you were mildly interested and got over him, right?” I nodded. “So, you don’t.”
Despite my confusion, my interest piqued before she walked me over to the mirror and we both stood there, her fingers worked at undoing mybraids and me looking at her reflection in the mirror.
“Whether you’re breaking a man’s heart, seducing the hell out of him or just intent on going crazy doing either, you need to look like a queen. Because when you believe in yourself, the world can go fuck itself with the biggest dick possible and it will matter none.” She finger-brushed my open hair, letting the wavy locks bounce around my waist. “Stand out, darling, else you’ll be like any other bitch trying to show a man she’s worth it. If all else fails, start by showing him just how fuckable you are then move on to the ‘you can see but you can’t touch’ angle.”
I gaped at her, catching her meaning, my laugh incredulous. “You want me to seduce Saint?”
Slowly, she shook her head. “Not just seduce. First, you draw his interest with little things. Shorten your skirt a bit, change your hairstyle.” She gathered my hair and fisted it in a high pony, letting the tail end caress my shoulders. “Beautiful.” She winked. “Then. Body language says a lot more than words. Smile. Laugh. Don’t just stand, pose but do it subtly.” She dropped my hair, moved back, and with her back to the wall, showed me some simple postures that arched the back and heightened the breasts. “If you have them, flaunt them.” She cupped her breasts and bit her lip seductively, making me laugh aloud, imagining myself doing that.
“Yikes, I’m not that sexy—”
“Don’t.” She held up her palm in the universal stop sign. “Your body is your temple, darling. Worship it.”
Her words brought Saint’s statement to mind about having a boy to worship me. “I’ll try.” I mimicked her posture, trying not to laugh.”
“Perfect,” she praised me with a thumbs up. “Just stick your ass out a little.”
