“What if I shot you in the head?”
He leaned with his butt against the table. “It was a chance I was willing to take.”
“Why?”
“Sometimes the things that hurt you the most, teach you the greatest lessons in life. I figured I’d made your life difficult long enough and you needed some time to live and be happy. With me out of the picture you could come into your own.” He walked to the bar and poured us a drink.
His words brought Lotus’s words about removing a snake’s venom than killing it, to mind and suddenly I didn’t want to fight anymore.
“You’ve been watching me since your death, haven’t you?”
He returned and handed me lemon water with strawberries. I took it and watched the fruit swirl in the glass then looked up.
“I’ve always watched over,bellasince that first day you arrived in my home and explored on your own. Cameras.”
My perceptions were correct, always believing someone watched me. “I don’t want to be here.”
Salvatore sipped his drink, his eyes on me. “What do you mean?” Strangely even the deep frown seemed to add an allure to his attractiveness. I’d never, in time I’d known him, see him smile or laugh and I wondered if he ever did or if he ever would.
I lifted my eyes to meet his, trying not to drown in those grays that held a warmth I’d never seen before. It was weirdly calming. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to live a nice quiet life. Doing normal things like going to the market and cooking and dancing in a garden filled with lilies and a pond. Away from all this agony, this world I never belonged in. Away from love that always seems to allude me. Away from trying to be who I am not. In my own world that I create for me. Alone.”
I saw him stiffen on the last word and I waited for the onslaught of I was his and he’d never let me go. Instead, his hand came up and he caressed my cheek with the back of his hand. The touch tender, the warmness comforting. “Is that what you really want?”
I searched his eyes for disapproval. All I saw was understanding. “Yes.”
“I’ll grant it on one small request.” He leaned down and kissed me. A soft brush of his lips and for some weird reason, I remembered that kiss on our wedding day. And how shocked I was by his tender touch. Wondering if it would bring love and peace that two lovers create once married.
“What is it?” I asked even though my stomach coiled with dread I couldn’t stop.
“A smile.”
“A smile?” I repeated, frowning.
He nodded. “You walked into my life at age nine and I ignored you. I fucked. I didn’t fall in love. I believed that was for pussies and wimps who allowed their partners to manipulate their souls. Then you walked into my life at age eighteen and I knew why I’d never fallen in love before.” He licked his lower lip and I found it stranger how I’d never seen him do that before, something so casual. “Because you’d stolen my heart since age nine, without me evening knowing it.”
Shock slammed into my chest. “What?”
He put a finger to my lip. “I won’t force you to stay, and you can return whenever you want. This is your home, and I won’t intrude in your life. But all I want is a genuine smile because I’ve never had one from you. A smile without anger, without irritation, without tears. A smile that shows me that you truly want this, this freedom to be on your own.”
I let out an incredulous laugh. “You just told me you love me and now you’re okay to let me go. How...” I trailed off at a loss for words.
“You don’t love someone because they said, ‘I love you.’ You love them when you’re ready to.” He caressed my cheek again. “I’m a man who knows only how to possess, not how to surrender. You came into my life without warning, a wrecking ball wrapped in innocence so sweet, you had my heart before I could say no. And I did when I should’ve said yes. So, when you’re ready, let me know what you need, and I will help you go live the life you want.”
He held out his hand and I glanced down at the single silver dolphin earring Ishara had given me for my eighteenth birthday.
“Oh, my God, I wondered what happened to this.” I picked up the jewel. “It was a special gift from my cousin. “You kept this all these years?”
He nodded. “Just like your photos. Don’t forget,bella, a smile.” Then he was walking away.
The photos. I never asked him how he got them. I stared after him, suddenly not sure where this man had come from. But I was sure that I wasn’t ready for him. Not now. Salvatore was intense and I needed simple.
