I sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“Earlier you mentioned you and Rayden are an off and on couple, mind if I ask why? I mean you guys make a gorgeous couple and should’ve been married by now, right?”
Sitting up, I stuffed a hand through my hair. “Over the last year or so we sort of moved into that comfort zone, of sleeping together when we feel like.” I shrugged on the last part.
“And you think that this baby might make you permanently off?”
“Honestly, I don’t know what to think.”
After escaping Lorenzo, Rayden changed. Both in the bedroom and out. He became arrogant, daring and loved a challenge. Yet, there were times when the softer side, the innocence I knew well, came out to play and still, I loved both sides of him. I wasn’t sure if it was the kidnapping or Lorenzo that changed him, but I never asked, and he never offered any discussion.
“Besides my family, I never told anyone this. Lorenzo kidnapped Rayden and I years ago.” Katy’s jaw dropped, her eyes wide saucers of horror. I grinned. “Anyway, after we escaped, Rayden and I carried on like the kidnapping never happened. The first two years were great, then...” I trailed off, realizing I missed the old Rayden, the innocent boy I’d met.
“It’s become more off than on?” her quiet question dragged my gaze back to her face.
“It’s been six years.”
She moved to the bed, sat and slid a hand around my waist. “Sometimes a baby is the perfect miracle to bring two people drifting apart back together again.”
“If the baby was his.”
“He doesn’t need to know.”
I gasped, pulling back slightly. “Are you saying I should lie to Rayden?” I shot up from the bed and paced the room. “I could never live with myself if I lied to him.”
Katy sighed. “What choice do you have, Zee? Do you honestly believe Lorenzo is going to accept you and this baby without questions? Going from what you just told me, him fucking you wasn’t consensual. Says a lot about the man.” She stood and nearing me, grasped my hands to stop me from pacing. “Would you rather the child grows up without a father?”
I stared at her, my mind utter chaos, my stomach even more so. “No. But forcing fatherhood on Rayden just to keep him, isn’t fair on him.”
“Look, I can only imagine what you’re going through right now but take some time to think this through before you attempt any discussions with him or Lorenzo.” She squeezed my hands gently. “Whatever you decide, just know I’m here for you, okay?” Biting my lip to hold off the tears, I nodded. “Right. Now, what do you need me to do next.”
A shaky laugh slipped through my lips at her motherly expression and I pulled her into my arms. “For now, I just need a hug.”
I heard her sob as she slipped her arms around me and squeezed tighter. “You’re going to be fine. Just make me the fucking godmother, okay.”
Laughing, I leaned back. “You’ll be an awesome godmother. Come on, I’ll make us some coffee.”
“When are you going to tell Rayden?” she asked, following me into the kitchen.
Grabbing two mugs from the cupboard above the stove, I set them on the counter. “I need to drive into Granger Valley. Maybe make a weekend trip out of it. I’ll give Rayden’s sister a call to check where he is and surprise him.” Even though I had to give it some thought, I put the impending news to the back of my mind.
