“C’mon, let’s grab some breakfast.” Zena pulled me toward a table laden with a meal fit for a king.
Fifteen minutes later, Lorenzo, shirtless and in gray sweats, strode toward us while toweling his wet hair. Without a word, he walked over to a blender that stood at the breakfast counter where I sat. He tossed various fruits, vegetables and other stuff into it. I watched while he worked. My gaze captivated by tattoos that covered his right wrist up to his pec. The blend of colors and designs so detailed, they looked like they moved with each flex of his muscles. Idiotically, I glanced down at my arm, wondering what it would look like with tattoos. After a couple of spins, he poured the contents into two tall glasses.
When he pushed one toward me, I shook my head. “I’m good.”
“Drink,” he ordered. “It’s good for your stamina. Judging by the tent in your pants, you need it.” He grinned. Scowling, I reached for the glass and took a sip. It wasn’t bad. “Is she your girlfriend?” He tipped his chin at Zena.
I glanced at her. She appeared to be a lot less intimidated than when Dario had forced us into the back of the Escalade, and now settled into one of the couches with a magazine. Last night was the first time she’d allowed me to touch her breasts. Up to that moment, we’d kissed but she’d never confirmed if we were dating or not. Whenever I brought it up, she’d wave it aside with an‘I like you and you like me, Rayden. Let’s leave it at that.’I wasn’t sure what to make of the words and played along.
“I’m not sure.”
“But you want to fuck her?”
I shifted my gaze to find Lorenzo watching me. “I won’t force her into anything she doesn’t want.”
With his lips pursed, I wasn’t sure if his slight smile was meant to be friendly, yet there was no mistaking the skepticism written all over his face. “When you want something, boy, you must reach out and take it otherwise it’s very easy for someone else to step in and seize it, no questions asked. Love might be complicated if you don’t understand it, but it takes two people to decide its course.” He took a seat opposite me.
“You’re giving me advice on love?” An incredulous laugh slipped through my lips before I could stop it and unsure why I’d even mentioned my relationship to him. He was my captor, nothing more. Who knew if we’d walk out of his house alive?
“Why?” With his elbows propped on the countertop and one hand over the fist of the other, Lorenzo cocked a brow. I shrugged, not wanting to annoy a man who could strangle me to death with his bare hands. “Because I murdered a man in cold blood?” he asked, his tone smooth like refined glass. I dropped my gaze to the glass of juice. “I might be a killer, Rayden, doesn’t mean I can’t be a lover. I have a heart just like you. Only difference is, mine isn’t easily manipulated. When I give mine away, my love will be infallible.”
My gaze lingered on Lorenzo’s face, my mind trying to understand what he was not saying. It was the second time he’d mentioned manipulation. Last night, I just assumed it was a pep talk about trusting people but now, I wasn’t sure. Did he think Zena was manipulating me? Fuck, I was eighteen, what the fuck did I know about love. And what the fuck was infallible. Maybe it meant something special to him. He had a good few years on me and was clued up on relationships. Still, I wasn’t sure why a sudden feeling of inadequacy settled at my nape. I had the urge to show him I could grasp his words.
“Are you ever likely to find love?” I asked, kicking myself after the words left my mouth.
Leaning back in his chair, he studied me for a moment. “Who’s to say?” He shrugged. “Maybe I have, and I just don’t know it yet.”
Unsure what to say, I blurted, “so, are you saying I should fuck her without worrying about love?”
“Why haven’t you lost your virginity yet?” he asked instead of an answer.
Startled by his perception, I floundered. “I’m not a virgin.”
Again, those unnerving eyes studied me. “Do I look like a man you can lie to?”
Slowly, I shook my head then heard myself saying, “at first, I thought I was too young to indulge in sex and then time just ran away, I guess. I mean there isn’t a written law that a man must lose his virginity by a certain age, is there?” Was I really sitting here having a conversation about sex and love with a mafia dude? I wanted to laugh but held it back.
“The first time I fucked a woman, I’d just blown the candles on my twelfth birthday cake. You think that was too young?” He frowned. I slowly licked my lips and he stared at me. “My father didn’t think so and had a whore go down on me. Sucked me dry and left me delirious with the after effect which lasted all of two seconds because he made me take her life. Called her a fucking snitch while I dragged a knife along her throat from ear to ear.”
His calm retelling of killing a woman had my stomach churning, nausea creeping up to sit at the back of my throat. How did these people get away with murder?
“Moral of the story, Rayden. If life gives you lemons, don’t waste your fucking time making lemonade when you can grab a bottle from the nearest store. Someone already took the fucking time to make it, you might as well drink it if you can stomach that shit.”
My shock must’ve registered on my face because his smile was slow. I couldn’t tell if it was friendly or threatening. Either way, I was certain this man would affect the rest of my life,ifI was left to live it, after today.
“If your dick wants her, then get on with it. Fuck her to your heart’s content, repercussions be damned.”
“You mentioned that last night. Is it so easy to not worry about the repercussions of your actions?” I asked, my intrigue with the man soaring.
“It’s my motto in life.” He rolled his forefinger over the rim of his glass then looked at me. “If you spend every waking minute worrying about repercussions, you’ll forget to live.” He took a drink then shrugged. “You’ve got your entire life ahead of you to worry about the love shit, boy.”
“Do I?” I heard myself ask.
Lorenzo’s laugh was low but no less impactful. “If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead already.”
“What do you want then?” What the fuck? Did I seriously just ask that?
Again, another laugh rumbled out his chest and I found myself warming to the sound. I wondered if I had it in me to come across that menacing yet still hold the ability to laugh without care.
