He nodded. “Or, you’ll forget how to live, son.” He squeezed my shoulder before walking out.
I moved to the window overlooking the driveway, my mind split in two about whether handing Jardin to Zena, even for a weekend, was a good or bad thing. I blew out a frustrated breath.
“Rayden.”
I turned my head at the sound of Lorenzo’s voice. He’d walked Zena out with the baby since I refused to do so. He came up behind me and with his hands flat against the glass on either side of me, his chest pressed into my back, we watched Zena walk down the stairs and climb into her car with Jardin.
“Do you regret not being with her?” he whispered in my ear.
“No,” came the quick reply. “You’re everything I need and more, right here.”
“Are you sure?”
He nipped my earlobe and I shuddered, still shocked that a man could elicit these responses from my body. An inexplicable warmth exploded in my chest. All these sensations around Lorenzo were new to me, surprising and while I was enjoying it, I was stupidly scared it would end. It took a measured amount of effort not to ask him to reinforce his promise.
And once more, the man had that uncanny ability to read my body language when he leaned closer. “I’m not going anywhere, Rayden.” He pressed his body tighter to me and I could feel the immediate bulge in his pants tight against the crease of my ass. “Do you feel that?” I nodded without moving. “I’m always ready for you and I’ll remind you how I feel about you, every day until you’re comfortable with this. Okay?”
“Wouldn’t your mafia stuff affect thatevery day,” I mocked, not knowing what the fuck he did.
“You come first, Rayden. Remember that. I’m a hundred percent committed to my life as a mafia head but.” He turned me around to face him. “That hundred percent means nothing if I don’t have you.”
“Would you give it all up for me?” I kicked myself after those words and I found myself staring at his lips, avoiding his gaze.
My question went unanswered, as I felt his eyes trace every inch of my face, I could feel the intensity of his stare. “Look at me, baby.” It was strange, how that endearment created a rush of heat through my body. I dragged my gaze from his mouth back up to his eyes. The sincerity in there was flagrant, indisputable. “Would you want me to?”
I avoided his question for a beat. “Have you never wanted a normal life, you know, wife, kids, house in Hamptons?”
He shrugged, leaning back a little. “This is who I am, Rayden. My destiny was already determined the day my father married my mother. It’s the only life I know. Whether I want it or not, makes no difference. It’s who I am. For me to try and change now, commit to a normal life would be like trying to tame a lion that’s lived its entire life in the jungle.”
Strangely, I didn’t want him to change. “I prefer the wildcat, bloodlust and all,” the words were out before I could stop them. If Lorenzo Rossi wanted me to be who I was then I was willing to accept him for who he was, mafia head, cold-blooded killer, drug lord if that were the case and all. “Repercussions be damned,” I mumbled.
“I’m glad you remembered.” He grinned.
“Are you okay with this, with us, with Zena being in Jardin’s life.”
“I guess I am.” His warm breath fanned my cheeks.
I frowned. “You don’t sound very convincing.”
He stared at me, a million emotions swirling in those deep blues, hypnotizing in their intensity. “She gave you something I’ll never be able to give you.”
“Yeah, what’s that?
“A baby.”
I took a moment to understand whether it was hesitation in his words or insecurity. “That maybe so, but you gave me something neither she nor anyone will be able to.”
“What?”
“Unconditional, no strings attached true love.”
His thick lips widened in a slow smile. “And you can live with that?”
“Are you fucking insane?” I grinned. “A man who takes close on nine years to stake his claim, allowed me to find myself while he lived in agony is, like my father would say, a rare gem. And judging by that bulge in your pants, I’d say a hard metal one.”
Chuckling, he gripped the back of my neck, pulled me close for a kiss and walked me back toward the bed. And I kissed him back harshly, my body igniting with a shit load of conflicting emotions, most of them completely unfamiliar and fucking insane. When we broke for air, he rolled onto his back, pushed up on an elbow and looked down at me.
“I’ve decided that Jardin will have the Rossi surname,” I said, having given the notion some thought when I watched him play with Jardin earlier.
