“You want to talk about it?”
He stared at his hands again and I thought he’d clammed up, when he said, “I dated someone for the last five months. Sianna Saxena. I thought she was the one, I thought we’d get married next year.” Just the thought of that had my heart on a bender. I shut it out. “Then, I took her home—” his voice broke and I forced myself not to move, even though every inch of me longed to crush him in my arms and promise he’d never cry again, never hurt again. I had to wait, to let him make that decision. “Two nights before I got here, I found out she’d met my father about two years before me and spent a night with him. That was forgivable...” I could see the pain he was going through as he rubbed at a fist clenched so tight the knuckles bled white. “But instead of telling me about it, she slept with him during her visit. They made a fool out of me. Lied to me and ripped my heart in the process.” He shot to his feet, turning his back on me and I knew he was hiding his tears from me.
Rising, I grasped his shoulders and turned him to face me. His expression thunderous, vicious storm clouds swirling with a mixture of desolation and hopelessness in his eyes, daring me to push him. When I tried to pull him into my arms, he fought me. But I was stronger and more determined to give him the comfort he needed. With one hand around his waist, the other gripped his jaw. I was a head taller than him and tightening my hold, forced him to look up at me.
“You don’t have to hide from me, Rayden.”
“Why?” he twisted against my hold, shoving at my chest. I let him go. “Who the fuck are you to me?” he snarled, glaring holes through me.
My heart sank, my throat burned, and I had to clench my jaw to hold back my emotions. He was so strong, yet so vulnerable and he didn’t even know it. “Ray—”
“Do I look like a fucking puppet to everyone? Am I that fucking easy to manipulate, to hurt, like my heart means nothing? To leave me?” he yelled, his fists clenching and unclenching like he was ready to hit me. Strangely, I’d let him, if he did. I almost crave it.
The pain in his eyes gutted me, squeezing my chest until I had to inhale sharply and draw air into my lungs. Then it finally clicked. “I never manipulated you, Rayden.”
“No!” His flattened palms hit my chest, shoving me backward. I stumbled but stayed upright. “You didn’t, butyoufucking left me.”
The air was sucked out of my lungs. “I left you?” Somehow, the words got out without a single tremble.
He pushed at my chest again and this time I grabbed his wrists and my body pinned him to the wall. Using one hand I locked both his wrists above his head and gripped his jaw with the other, forcing his cold stare to meet mine again.
“Youleft me,” I hissed, my chest rising and falling in quick succession to keep up with my heavy breathing. “You chose her over me,” I reminded. He’d chosen to leave that day, to steal the car and drive off.
“And you let me,” he growled, the accusation hitting me in gut. “You fucking used me and discarded me like I was some cheap slut.”
“What the—” Rage stole my logic and I crashed my mouth to his.
His words stung, harsher than if I’d been hit by a bullet. Eight fucking years I’d craved him and he blamed me. Yet, he didn’t pull back, he devoured my mouth, curling that velvet tongue around mine and sucking hard until I moaned. He was pouring every ounce of male dominated aggression into that kiss and I welcomed it, needed it.
Blood pumped ruthlessly through my veins, commanding me to attack, to take, to fuck him fast and senseless. But this was a kiss I’d waited an eternity for, and despite the clashing teeth and sparring tongues, it was sweeter than any fucking honey I’d ever tasted. When I released his hands and he yanked my hips to his, our groans fused when our rigid cocks bumped each other.
Rayden Princeton had me by the fucking balls and I could do nothing to stop him. He’d leveled the playing field the second he’d walked into my bedroom that first time, then he’d tipped the scales when he’d walked away and stealing not just my car but my fucking heart. And I fucking let him. Cupping his neck as I bit at his lips then soothed the bite with my tongue, I rolled my hips to create friction between our hard cocks. I dropped a hand to ease between our bodies, so I could stroke him.
Before I could, he pulled back, pushing me away. “No,” he breathed as I staggered back, trying to get my ragged breathing under control. “You don’t get to use me again,” he spat, his cold eyes deflecting the heated moment we’d just shared.
Silence descended on us, stealing the anger from my soul. Rayden was more broken than I expected. This was no time to let him know how I felt. It would be lost on his fractured emotions. “What hurt you more? Them, sleeping together or them making a fool out of you?”
“Are you seriously asking me that,” he growled, a muscle spasmed in his clenched jaw.
I took a step back. “You’re a proud man. To the extent that some might call arrogant. Getting your heart handed back to you will never sit right with you. Ask yourself, though, what if the tables were turned. What if you took someone’s heart and handed it back with no reason, yet they’re willing to forgive you, to live the rest of their lives waiting, hoping you’ll return. Could you do that?”
He opened his mouth to say something then closed it. I fucking hoped like hell he grasped what I’d just said. He merely stared at me, keeping his emotions hidden behind a blank stare. I silently wondered if I’d done that to him, taught him how to appear unaffected, in control of certain feelings. Because I sure as fuck mastered it. Maybe if I’d been different back then, showed him what he needed to see, we probably wouldn’t be standing here right now with his touch burning a massive void through me once more.
“You’ve been hurt, I get that, but whoever said loving someone is easy, is a fool.” I waited for him to look at me. He did. “Falling in love is like a storm, Rayden. It’s so unexpected you can’t prepare for it no matter how hard you try. Sometimes there’s a whole lot of devastation that comes with it but once you’ve moved past it, the new beginning can be just the way you want it.” Sighing, I raked a hand through my hair and turned to walk away. Then I stopped and glanced over my shoulder. “The question is are you strong enough to rebuild or swim away on that receding tide, letting it toss your heart to pieces in the process.” I left him on the terrace. He needed time and I planned to give it to him.
****
TWO WEEKS LATER, THATintention became a watered-down promise. With each passing day, Rayden’s presence chipped at my resolve to stay away. To keep my wits, I traveled to other cities we distributed in, surprising both my buyers and my men. I grew frustrated to the point that it was obvious if I didn’t do something about it, I’d kill someone. Everyone around me noticed, including Remo and he took over the meetings I set up. Since I became a made man, I’d never lost my shit like I’d done at the end of the last meeting. My annoyance sent two men to the hospital. One with a broken wrist and the other, a bullet in his thigh.
Now, I stared at the door that remained locked every time I returned from a trip. He stayed in my home but refused to see me and I let him. It all ended tonight. Balling my fist, I pounded on the glass and it took a moment to realize he’d opened it.
“What do you want, old man?”
Grinding my teeth, I slammed a hand to his chest and pushed him into the room until his back hit the wall. He didn’t cower, nor did his expression change from that smug look that got me every fucking time. Not tonight. I was tired of the hold he had over me. Glaring at him, I gripped his hips and tightened the gap between us until my painfully hard cock ground into his.
“I’m tired of your fucking shit, boy.” I growled. “So, either you fuck me or fuck off.” I rolled my hips letting him know I had no intention of backing off. My eyes fell to his lower lip, clamped between his teeth to show me he wasn’t affected. But I knew better.
“What if I don’t want to?” he snarled.
