“Because...” I hedged, not sure what explanation to give. Zayne sent me out of his life without much of an explanation and while I was falling for Trent, if I hadn’t already, a part of me wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Zayne. “I think I need to give Zayne a chance. He was there for me when—”
“When I wasn’t?” Trent stared at me, his thumb drawing slow circles on the back of my hand.
“I’m sorry. We can’t continue this. Zayne and I—” I broke off unsure what to say.
“You slept with him last night?” he asked. Was that regret or disbelief in his tone?
Pulling my hand out of his grasp, I walked away and stared out the window. Manhattan was awash in a light drizzle and I wished for some of its cleansing to befall me. Still, I didn’t want to answer, hoping my silence would convey the message I couldn’t say out loud. Because in my heart, I knew it was a lie. Keeping my gaze riveted to the floor, not wanting to see his hate, his disgust, a thick lump of despair wedged in my throat.
“Look at me, Ash.” There was a rigid tightness to his words and my heart sank. One traitorous tear, followed by another, slid down my cheek, splashing to my laced fingers. I tried to swipe the drops before he could see. But he did. He crossed the room, slid a finger under my chin and lifted until my gaze met his. “I don’t hate you. I can never hate you,” he whispered, gently using his thumbs to wipe my tears. My shock slipped out in a soft gasp. “You’re right, sweetheart. He was there for you when I wasn’t. He took care of you like I never could. And I can only try to give you everything he did, if not more. But.” He paused, his blue eyes searching mine, his smile tender. “Don’t leave me because you can, leave me because you want to.”
“What are you saying?”
“Every relationship has boundaries, Ash and I’m willing to cross any of those for you. Whatever it takes.”
“What about—” I turned and walked away, swallowing my shame for lying.
Trent came up behind me, slid his arms around to my stomach, drew me tighter to him and leaned his chin on my shoulder. “I don’t care. He is your husband, and he has a right to you that I never will.” He turned me around and walked me backward until a wall touched my rear. Slipping his hands to my butt, he lifted me, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. “But I’ll be damned if I let you walk out of my life without a fight.”
I gaped at him, not sure I’d heard right. “Why?”
“Because I love you.”
“What?” I croaked. Shock erupted inside me, shadowing my body with unchecked goosebumps.
His response came in the form of a kiss. A decadent melding of lips that spoke a thousand words and unleashed a flood of emotions. The kiss was slow and passionate. I clung to him, desperate for clarity, guidance, knowing that I was stuck in a vortex that had the possibility of spinning me clockwise thinking in an anticlockwise direction within seconds. Question was, would I find the balance to withstand the spiral?
“Do you believe in us?” he asked when we broke for air.
My euphoria flattened to dejection as a sense of betrayal took residence inside my belly. To whom, I had no idea. “Honestly, I don’t know what to believe right now.” I squirmed out of his hold. And when he set me down, I turned away to face the window again. “I lied to you just now, Trent.”
“About?”
I glanced at him over my shoulder and pulled in a deep breath before facing him. “Zayne and I never slept together.”
He frowned. “Last night?”
Slowly, I shook my head, embarrassment tainting my cheeks. Not from lying but my inability to make my husband sleep with me. “Ever.”
Incredulity sharpened his gaze. He stared at me as though contemplating his next words. “I don’t understand.”
“Neither do I. Apparently he’s been in love with someone else.”
His jaw tightened, emotions I couldn’t read fast enough, flicked across his face. “He hurt you?” he gritted through clenched teeth.
“He didn’t.” I sighed. “He married me in name only to give me stability, security.”
Trent didn’t respond immediately. He rubbed his jaw, studying me. “Yet, you desired something more, didn’t you?” he said at last.
Hating his perception, I looked away, hoping to hide my disappointment. I shouldn’t have said anything. Did I come across as wanton? Maybe. But I couldn’t blame Zayne, nor could anyone blame me for my feelings for him. He’d been honest from the start and now I’d allowed Trent to fall in love with me. If my heart secretly yearned for Zayne, why then was I feeling like I’d just betrayed Trent instead.
“Hey.” He ran a slow finger along my jawline, bringing my gaze back to his, the liquid blues I’d come to love, filled with the usual, sincere affection I’d seen so often. There was no disgust or hatred as I’d expected. “It’s only natural to expect something more. You’ve been married to the guy for close on three years and you’ve known no other family.”
I closed my eyes, inhaling on a long breath. Tears pricked the back of my lids. How was I blessed with not one, but two distinctly different yet caring men who had my heart in a twist, my mind on a rollercoaster, and my pussy clenching with lust when they were around me.
“Have you discussed this with Zayne?” Trent pulled me from my reflections.
My laugh was mirthless. “We did a lot of things that would’ve eventually led to sex,” I recoiled at the memory of Zayne’s stiff features. “In another lifetime perhaps,” I mumbled.
