“Nothing...it’s small. Have to get...Voices, male...two of them outside. They’re unlocking the door...I’m scared. No!” she shrieked. “Get away from me...Leave me alone. help me, someone help!” Her nails bit into the back of my hands.
Her anguish ripped right through me, tearing a hole through my heart. “Bring her out, doctor,” I blinked back the tears, my voice hoarse.
“No, please don’t hurt me. No!” she cried. “Help me! Someone...” Her tormented sobs filled the room.
Her pleading was like a poison arrow straight to my heart. I struggled to breathe, gasping harsh pants on my exhales, I hissed, “Bring her out. Now!” I bit down on my bottom lip but the tears fell. God have mercy when I laid my hands on those bastards.
“Ashrika, listen to my voice,” Landers soothed. “When I count to three, you’ll forget everything except my voice. Relax, now. Slow, deep breaths.” Her breathing eased to gentle rasps. “Hear my voice. When I snap my fingers, you’ll wake up.”
When he was sure, she’d eased out of her fear, Landers nodded to me. He waited while I wiped away her tears then counted to three and snapped his fingers. She opened her eyes and startled to find me at her side, her shocked expression hinted as much. Switching her gaze to Zayne then Landers, she frowned before her eyes fell to her hand tightly clasped in mine. Her brow shot up and I almost laughed out loud at the sass in that action. My smile was a peace-offering. Hers was non-existent. Pulling her hand out of my grasp, she slid her feet off the couch and sat up.
“Did I reveal anything that might help,” she asked, her tone wistful.
Glancing at me, Landers stood and moved to his table. He lowered his large build into the leather chair and waited for Ashrika and Zayne to take their seats on the opposite side while I stood behind her. “I’m sorry, dear, while you skirted the edge of something bad happening to you, there was nothing helpful.”
I watched her shoulders slump in dejection. It took controlled effort not to lean forward and kiss away her pain.
“Don’t despair.” Landers smiled. “This kind of therapy isn’t a quick fix and sometimes it’s not necessarily how everything happened. Over a few sessions, bits of information can be pieced together to get the whole picture. Eight months between today and your last session is a long time to go without prompting images of your past, not to mention that we’re trying to recreate something that happened several years ago. It takes time.”
She let out a low sigh. “So, in other words, I need more sessions?” Landers nodded. “Is it even worth it?”
He looked at Zayne and I, his eyes questioning as though asking to help him convince her. “You know it is, baby,” Zayne responded with a squeeze to her shoulder. He glanced up at me and I wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince me otherwise.
“But it could take ages,” she groaned.
“Not necessarily.” Landers leaned forward and folded his arms on the table, his gaze encompassing the three of us. “As I mentioned before. Our memories get stored in a secure part of our brain, call it a safe if you must. All it needs is the right combination to trigger the lock. And if cracking a safe was easy, the whole world will be filled with rich thieves.” I smiled at his analogy. “Perhaps, I haven’t asked you the right questions, the right combination to jar your memory.” He offered her a reassuring smile. “You must understand, dear, the mind is an extremely delicate matter. If playing with it, was that simple, I’d be out of a job. Hypnosis allows you to become absorbed in something your mind creates. Whether it’s the truth or not, we don’t know for sure. But sometimes your actual memories will try to break through, it requires patience. Jolting your memory too quickly could cause you considerable harm.”
“How?”
“At our first session I told you, you were mentally fighting your demons. You’d gone through a traumatic experience without the added burden of losing your memory. While it’s not entirely unlikely to uncover the truth, it’s been a long time. If I rush this, I could open wounds which you’d probably do best to forget. Pure speculation, dear, nothing solid,” Landers consoled.
She raked her hands through her hair, sighed and tilted her head back on the rest, allowing her gaze to clash with mine. Although she didn’t look away, she didn’t return my smile. I wished there was something positive I could say that would brighten her expression. We stared at each other for a long moment until Zayne’s abrupt cough broke the contact. She dropped her head. “So, what do I do now? Stop living and concentrate on getting my memories back. I’ve lived a secluded life for the last few years, not forgetting the time I lost to a coma, trusting no one besides Zayne and Tia.”
She was so quiet for a long moment after that last statement, her breathing labored, it was obvious she’d reached breaking point. I wanted to take her in my arms or perhaps touch her shoulder, offer my comfort in some way then she reached across the armrest of their chairs and laced her fingers with Zayne’s. Tiny spurts of envy pricked my body, digging into it like the deadly claws of an unsuspecting predator.
“I want to move on, to live like my past never existed and perhaps consider an idyllic life with a kid or two.”
Her words were like a knife to my heart, piercing and profound with each utterance.You have two already.I silently screamed. I closed my eyes, swallowing hard to stop from regurgitating words I’d repeated over and over on my way to the hospital—words I knew if she heard, would have her walking in the opposite direction. She couldn’t trust me like she did Zayne. And yet she did, once. Hell, she didn’t even know me. I’d come across like a crazy-assed stalker if her responses up to now were anything to go by. But she did know me, I just needed to remind her that our love had taken a sabbatical and it was time to bring it home, back to me.
I caught Landers’ rueful expression and inhaled to ease my breathing into a calmer perspective. “Your best bet right now, my dear, would be to schedule another appointment then take it from there. If I have to offer some advice, don’t concentrate too much on anything solid right now, rather scour your brain to see if you can come up with anything to help your memory. Meditation works wonders.”
She uttered a low laugh. “I don’t have time to myself, where would I fit in meditation.”
“We could close the restaurant for a bit,” Zayne suggested.
Her head swung sharply. “Are you insane? I’ve worked so hard for the last three years to make it one of the best restaurants on the waterfront. My memories aren’t important enough to warrant its closing,” she huffed.
I balled my fists, biting my lip to keep from shaking her into thinking about herself, about her past for just a moment. I admired her business tenacity but if I didn’t make a dent in that rigid stance of hers, I’d be lost on her.
“Listen, Ashrika.” Landers stood. “While it’s entirely your decision to choose your next step, can I offer another piece of advice?” She nodded. “You’ve resisted enjoying yourself for a long time and while hard work helped put the constant thoughts of not knowing to the back of your mind, it’s to your detriment.”
“How?” I could hear the irritation in her voice.
“One day with no warning, you might break, and all that evasion could come back in a rush, turning you into someone you might not want to be. And I’m sure that’s not your intention?”
Slowly, she shook her head. “I’m listening.”
Landers took off his glasses and polished it with a cloth. “Instead of hard work and concentrating on ‘what if’s’, try having some fun for a change. Go dancing. Indulge in some wild fantasy, anything positive makes an ideal stimulus. Visit Disney World if you haven’t. Get out of the norm, something different to stir your memory. Do something reckless, within reason of course. You’ve never had a birthday party, right?”
