“Billy,” he replied, his tone bordering on hostility.
“Relax, Billy, you have nothing to fear. Jason is too much of a wimp to take you out. Isn’t that right, Jason?” I goaded.
He looked at me then at the gun in his shaking hand. I watched him, fascinated to see the effect of my taunting when he pointed the gun at the other man. “I’m sorry, Billy.”
“Don’t do it, Jason. He’s just messing with you,” Billy’s stern features morphed into outright fear. Keeping the gun trained on Billy, Jason looked at me.
I glanced over my shoulder at my security head. “Rogue, can you clear up a little misunderstanding for these two. Am I known for messing around?” I returned my gaze to Jason’s distraught face.
“No, sir,” Rogue’s succinct reply made both men tense.
“You heard the man, Jason, what’s it going to be?”
Jason’s gun went off, simultaneously my bullet, he hadn’t seen coming, ripped through his skull, splattering his brains on the wall behind him. Still on his knees, leaning upright against the wall, blood oozed from a perfect hole to his brow. The look of surprise still evident in his now vacant eyes. Next to him, Billy’s body twitched until he lay deathly still.
Straightening, I stared down at the lifeless fucker. “Nothing personal, Jason, but no one touches the woman I love and lives.” Stuffing my gun into the back of my pants, I turned as Rogue approached me. I looked up at the cloudless sky. “Nice day for fishing, right?” He nodded. “Take Jenson with you.” I referred to another one of my men and I headed for the club entrance.
When I walked into Enigma later that afternoon, my body filled with apprehension at the sight of Ashrika leaning against the counter chatting to a diner. I might’ve taken care of the fucker but I deserved to stay in the hell I’d slipped into, knowing I’d put her at risk. The need to pull her into my arms and hold her there forever, beat with every inhale. She laughed and the sound tightened my blackened heart. I looked at her, the woman who was a survivor, and I was in awe of her. For the first time in my life, I wanted more. I wanted her for me, to protect her, to love and cherish her. Silently I pleaded that she would accept my unspoken invitation to love me before the possibility of her recognizing Trent. A selfish part of me wanted to tell him to get lost, to leave her alone, to let her live this new life she’d created.
But if her memory came back, she might hate me, if she thought that I had prevented her from being with the man she’d once committed her life to, before me.
“Zayne?” I turned to find Tia at my side. “You good?” Her expression indicated she understood my inner turmoil. I nodded. “Does she know?” She squeezed my arm and I frowned. “That you’re in love with her.” I blinked my surprise. “Don’t look so shocked. I’ve seen the way you are around her. And if your conversation with Trent wasn’t convincing enough, then I don’t know what is.” I arched a brow, her perception unsettling. “I never asked you this before but what’s stopping you from taking it to the next level? What are you afraid of?”
As a man who scared people shitless with a look, I’d asked myself the same thing countless times. “Who the fuck knows, Tia.” I cupped the back of my neck and rolled it to ease the knotted tension. “Maybe it was the distraught look in her eyes that afternoon she woke from her coma. Or the numerous occasions she gave up wanting to live every time she woke from a nightmare she didn’t understand. Take your pick which one made me stop and question my attempt.” Fool that I was, I’d offered her salvation, my name and my protection—not expecting to fall in love. I did. Stupidly, I’d given Trent free rein to break my heart and if she did choose him, it would break my soul too. Not the best decision ever but I’d lay down my life for her. “Vowing to keep her safe, I promised her I’d never take advantage of her.”
“Falling in love is not taking advantage, Zayne,” Tia retorted.
I scoffed. “All my life I’ve been a bastard, taking without asking but somehow, she broke through to the animalistic barrier I put up. She reminds me that I am a man capable of caring for a woman, something I’d forgotten. She came into my life like an angel when indifference was second nature...” I trailed off, shutting down the emotions running rampant through me.
“You should’ve told her.”
“Too late now.” The words tasted like remnants of bile.
Tia let out a dismal sigh. “What if she finds out why we’re pushing her toward Trent?”
“Can’t be helped.” I hadn’t slept since that night, wondering the same thing.
“I don’t like keeping things from her.” Tia’s brow wrinkled, her worry palpable. “But it’s for the best, right?”
“I can’t answer that,” I muttered, wishing I could. “I guess sometimes lies are worth their weight in gold if it goes toward protecting someone.” I’d become adept at lying. Fuck it was my job. I pulled in a deep breath, fighting the jealousy that festered in my veins since Trent’s arrival. “What if it isn’t? What if we’re making a mistake?” I internally cringed, I never doubted myself. Bullshit, I had once and it led me down a road that had only one ending.
“She trusts you, believes you,” Tia cut through my reflections with a smile. “She’ll understand.”
“Last night, I thought—” I broke off, nipping the overshare in the bud. Last night wasn’t supposed to happen but it did, and it hurt that she couldn’t remember. Still, it would be in my memory forever. I had a part of her, however small. Tia gave me a quizzical look but didn’t push, knowing when not to. “I’m scared it might cause more harm than good,” I said instead, glancing at Ashrika. She was laughing at something the diner said, so relaxed and oblivious to the turmoil churning my stomach.
“You and scared don’t exactly go together in the same statement...” Tia trailed off drawing my gaze. “All’s not lost, you know. She might not remember him.”
“And if he pursues her into falling for him?” I shifted my gaze back to Ashrika. Every part of me felt like it was being ripped apart, shredded beyond repair. My chest tightened and for just a moment I struggle to breath, to draw in the air needed to survive but I had to—for her. “It hurts.” I clenched my teeth and looked at Tia. “It hurts knowing she might.”
“Who’s to say she will. Don’t give up so easily. It’s not like you.” She reached for my hand, squeezing lightly. “And if she does, you will find love again.”
“Fuck love, Tia. I’m over that shit,” I snapped, more from experience than irritation. “I barely survived this love, what makes you think I’d survive another?”
“Because you’re you. I know you, remember.” Tia was right. She knew the real me. “You’re hardcore, Zayne but you’re a fighter. You can’t let her see your pain. Promise.”
Slowly, I nodded. “I’ll allow myself to break once she’s gone. Once she’s handed my heart back to me in pieces.”
“You don’t know that she will.” She persisted, the desperation in her voice urging me not to give up. “You also promised that guy at the club wouldn’t—” my icy glare forced a full stop to her words. She gave me a slight nod instead, knowing why I did what I did, without the need for an explanation.
