Trent
SOFT MUSIC FILLED THEroom, shrouding the aftermath of an act I never thought I’d participate in, ever. And I had. Was it good? It was fucking awesome. Would I do it again? I had no idea. But for her, I’d walk a mile, naked just to see that smile on her face again.
I glanced down. With her head on my chest, her hand on my stomach, Ashrika slept cocooned between Zayne and I. Millions of tiny lights shining down from the ceiling, sparkled over her black hair curled around her creamy skin. She appeared peacefully serene and ignorant to my palpitating heart or the butterflies that decided my stomach was a good place to visit.
Why was I nervous? Because when the night began, I’d hoped it would end the way I wanted. With Ashrika uttering the sentiment I longed to hear. She had. Only, it wasn’t my name at the end of those three beautiful words, but the man who currently slept with his arm draped over her waist, his body curved to hers, keeping her just as protected as I would.
I knew the second I mentioned my plan to Zayne to take her there, he’d want in. I never expected him to go through with it, though. Nor had I let on that I intended telling her the truth tonight. Whatever the outcome I was going to grin and bear it, even if she hated me. I figured I’d secured a tiny niche in her heart and she’d forgive me. Unfortunately, that niche was so tiny, it was easily usurped by another man. Yet, I felt no anger toward him. I never would.
Taking care not to wake her, I slid out from under her and stood. In less than two minutes, I was fully dressed and reaching for my watch when Zayne climbed off the bed. The man wasn’t family, neither was he a friend, and I expected some awkwardness after what we’d just done to the woman we both loved. There was none. I wasn’t surprised and by the expression on his face, neither was he.
He pulled on his pants, turned to me and raked a hand through his hair. “Where the fuck are you going?” he whispered.
I glanced at Ashrika who’d rolled onto her stomach. Clipping my watch around my wrist, I looked at him. “Take her home.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
I slipped one hand into my pants pocket and shoved the other through my hair. “I gave her what she wanted. Now it’s up to you to give her what she needs.”
“Isn’t that the same fucking thing?” he was trying hard to keep his voice down.
I moved away from the bed and he followed me. “She needs to live, Zayne. She opened up to me, told me things about herself that you needed to know. But that’s up to you how you get her to tell you everything. She loves you. So now it’s up to you to make her not only believe but fully accept that Incognito was just the title of a club where she got what her body desired. That the woman in her can step out of from behind that mask she’s worn for so long. Am I making sense?”
I hoped like hell that I was because walking away from her tonight would be the biggest test I’d face in my lifetime. Ashrika Morrone had stolen the heart that belonged to Krisha Shaw and surprisingly, I didn’t feel bad, I didn’t feel remorse, nor did I feel it was wrong. She might be the same person but who she’d become now, was someone I never met then yet would love forever. Only, her forever belonged with Zayne.
I dragged air through my aching lungs. “Look, what we did tonight, might be fucked up on so many levels but when love is involved, fucked up is how you live until the right end is in sight. I don’t regret it. Not when I made the decision, not during the act and not now that it’s over. You wanted her to choose. She did. She chose you.”
“And what? You’re just going to walk away?” he scoffed, disbelief lining his tone.
“That’s what we agreed to.”
“We agreed to nothing,” He turned away and gripped his brow then looked at me again. “Fuck, Trent, I had no fucking clue what you intended when I walked through that door tonight.” He gestured to the elevator. “And like you, I don’t regret it but what do I tell her when she wakes. You can’t just walk out of her life without an explanation.”
“I did just walk in, remember?” I shrugged. “And it’s put us all through the wringer.” I shook my head no less convinced than he was. “Look, make me the bad guy if you must but for fuck sakes, make her live again.”
With that, I hit the open button on the elevator and when I reached the exit, my heart dropped so far down to the pit of my stomach, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to drive off. I gripped the roof of my car, bent over and hurled the contents of my stomach onto the sidewalk. And with it, every emotion I could, hoping it would free my body of the bone-numbing pain I’d felt the second she uttered those words. When I could finally stand without heaving, I walked around to the driver's side and retrieved a bottled water. I rinsed my mouth, my hands and downed the rest of the warm liquid, wishing for the burn of a stiff drink instead.
I shot off down the street the second the engine roared to life, leaving behind my heart, my soul, my life.
