“Angela!” My mother’s tone was more rigid than mine. “You ruined both my son’s lives and I tolerated you because, unlike you, I was a good wife to my husband. I think it’s time you left. And if you plan on coming back. Don’t. You’re not welcome here.” The look my mother gave her easily read, don’t mess with me. I’d only seen it once. When Josh and I decided the kitchen was the best place to build stink bombs. She turned to me. “Before Josh left, he told me, he’d fallen in love with another woman with whom he’d had a child and he divorced his wife to be with her. But, she turned him down. Only now do I realize that he was distraught because staying meant him either telling you the truth or die watching you raise Kyra as your daughter. Don’t hate him, son. He’s had to live with the guilt for so long.”
Surprisingly, I held no hatred for my brother. My father and ex-wife had taken most of it while the rest fell to my shoulders, hating myself for what I’d done to Rayden and Sia. “I don’t, mom—”
“Dad?” the soft call cut off my words.
I swung around.Oh, fuck no.Kyra stood at the door I hadn’t heard opening. One look at her face told me she’d heard everything. “Sweetheart—” She turned and ran off. Angela moved to go after her. “Leave her alone, Angela,” I ordered, my harsh tone made her jump. I glanced at my sister. “I’m going up to speak tomydaughter. When I come back down, I want her gone.” I jerked a thumb at Angela and walked off, ignoring her attempt to stop me. Upstairs, I knocked on Kyra’s door. “Kyra, it’s dad, sweetheart.” I kept my voice as low as possible. After a couple of minutes, I lifted my hand to knock again and it opened. She stood with her hand on the knob, her eyes red, cheeks streaked with tears. God, could anyone else not get hurt today. “Hey, baby, you want to talk?” She stepped aside and let me enter. I glanced around the room, smiling at the shades of blue she’d chosen the day she turned sixteen. She’d no longer wanted pink. I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at her. She hovered near the door, fidgeting with her nail polish. “Kyra?” When her gaze met mine, I patted the bed. I breathed in a sigh of relief when she crossed the room and sat, sliding her hands under her thighs.
She stared at me for a moment, then licked her lips. “You were in love with Sianna before Rayden?”
Not what I was hoping to hear, I didn’t push. “I met her about two years ago, and...” I studied the carpet, not sure how to explain. “Because of my stupidity, she walked away.”
“Why didn’t you tell Rayden when he brought her home.”
I shook my head, having kicked myself so many times since she arrived that my ass hurt. “I messed up.” I sighed, raking a frustrated hand through my hair. “And now the three people I love more than life itself are hurting. I never meant for any of this to happen and if there’s one power I wish I could have at this moment, it would be to turn back time. To give my son his love back.” My body trembled as tears threatened once more. I swallowed them down. “I guess I’m not the world’s best dad right now.”
“Dad?” I tensed when she reached out and linked her fingers with mine. “Do you know what a mother is?” I glanced at her, confusion making me frown, unsure what she was asking. She didn’t look up. Instead, her pointer finger traced the veins on the back of my hand she held. “A mother is someone who loves us unconditionally to the point that sometimes we misunderstand her love. She constantly reminds us that we’re the best, no matter how many times we fail. She helps us realize that we’re good and that there can never be anyone better than us, no matter how bad we are.” She lifted her gaze to mine. My heart twisted as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. “She smiles when we’re happy and cries when we’re sad. She is someone we try to live without even though we know we can’t.” She palmed my cheek with her free hand. “You’re right. You’re not the best dad in the world. Because to me, you’ve always been the best mom and dad, even if I was never your daughter.”
The walls of the damn I’d fought hard to contain broke. I inhaled, crushing her to my chest. “God, sweetheart.” Every ache I’d felt since that morning painted my cheeks with its salty reminder. Holding her tight, my body shook as my tears drenched her hair. Crying for the hurt, I’d caused Rayden. Crying for the love I’d lost with Sia. Crying for a daughter who’d been wronged. We sat there, holding each other for what seemed like an eternity, sharing each other’s pain, each other’s tears, seeking comfort. Fate had changed all of our lives, and whether or not it would return to normal, I couldn’t tell. All I wanted was for my children to be happy. But I’d taken that away from Rayden.
When I could finally control my anguish, I swallowed until I could talk. “Kyra?” She sat back and looked at me. I palmed her cheek. “Have I ever done anything to hurt you, sweetheart?” She shook her head. “Have I ever made you feel like you were never my daughter?” Again, she shook her head. “Whose daughter are you, Kyra?”
I watched her throat work to gulp down her tears. She was trying not to cry. “Uncle Jo—”
“No, Kyra. You’re my daughter.” I attempted the best smile I could. “I will never, ever feel any different to that day I held you in the hospital room, your pink fingers curled around my forefinger, your gray eyes on me like you knew who I was the moment they placed you in my arms. Or that first day of school when you closed these fingers.” I rubbed her palm open. “Around my pinkie and wouldn’t let go unless I gave you ten dollars.” She smiled through her tears. “I will always love you, Kyra. You will always be mine. No one, not Josh, Angela, or anyone else, will be able to make you feel anything less than what you are. My daughter.”
This time, she crashed her body to mine, her head on my chest, her tears relentless. Holding her tight with one hand. I caressed her hair with the other. My throat and jaw ached from being clenched too long while my eyes burned from unyielding tears.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kyra asked when she finally broke from my embrace.
“Would you have wanted me to?”
Slowly, she shook her head, hiccupping on sobs. “No. You’re irreplaceable.” She smiled.
I leaned forward and kissed her brow. “And so are you.” I tweaked her chin when I pulled back. “Now, go wash your face and get some sleep. Okay?” After she nodded, I stood to leave. When I opened the door, she stopped me.
“Dad?” I turned to look at her. “Rayden will come around. He loves you too much not to. He just needs time.”
I dragged in a deep breath and smiled. “I hope so. Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”
“Merry Christmas.” She threw me a kiss.
On the landing, I stood there for a moment, contemplating what I should do next. I pulled out my phone and dialed Rayden. Voicemail. I stared at the screen for a while before scrolling to Sia’s number. After a minute or two of deliberation, I pressed the call button. I didn’t expect her to answer. It rang until it went to voicemail. I squeezed the device, wishing it to ring.
“Hey, you okay?”
I turned to find Tamara at my rear. I gave her a small smile. “No.”
She neared me and slipped a hand around my waist. “You know the adage about when you love someone—”
“Set it free...” I arched a brow. “I don’t know if I can.”
“I know. You need to give Rayden space, though. Don’t rush this, or you might make the situation worse.” Her eyes searched mine briefly. “I know you’re hurting and concerned, but you also need to give Sianna time.”
“You think two years wasn’t enough time.” My laugh was mirthless.
“Time heals all wounds, Drake.”
“Yeah, but in some relationships, some wounds might become more profound with time.”
