“I love you, Sia.”
My heartbeat quickened, so intense, I almost choked. “L-love me. How? You don’t even know me.”
Slowly, he shook his head. “I’ve loved you since that moment you looked up at me from the floor of the terminal, blue eyes brimming with tears, begging to be held. Jesus, Sia, you’re like the secret I can never hide, the gesture I can never forget, the fucking thrum of my heartbeat. That morning if you hadn’t left, I would’ve made you mine, princess.” He gripped my waist, tightening what little space existed between us. “You would’ve been my wife.”
I gasped. The heavy echo of his breathing and the sight of his frantic pulse at his throat had my gaze lifting, catching the changing shades of irises that matched his emotions. The man was bearing his soul, and I had nothing to give—no, nothing I could share but pain and misery. “You don’t mean that,” I whispered, uncertainty laced my words. “I was a virgin, a novelty. You were a man of the world. You would’ve tired of me eventually. You could’ve had anyone.”
He jerked back as though I’d pushed him away. A laugh rumbled out his chest, but there was no joy to the sound as he stared at me, unblinking. “Novelty? Jesus, Sia. I’ve taken a couple of lovers, and every time I fucked, eyes the color of sapphire sin, hair the color of dark chocolate, and baby pink lips haunted my emotions. Fucking with me until all it ever ended up being was just a fuck to relieve stress. You don’t understand.” the last words so low I had to strain my ear. He dipped his head, his lips air against my chin, trailed butterfly kisses along my jaw. “Even if my brain fails me, my heart will never forget its first love,” he murmured.
“F-first l-love?” My racing heart tripped over itself, and I lost my breath completely.
He leaned back to look at me. “I’ve never loved before you, and I’ll never love after you.”
The words tore through me, ripping every shred of restraint I’d secured around me over the last two days. “Prince,” I exhaled on his name. “What are you asking of me?”
“I can’t control myself around you, Sia. The way I feel right now, and as selfish as it might sound, I’d be happy with anything. I don’t care if I have to share you.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “But please don’t ask me to stay away.”
I sucked in a breath and choked when it shattered in my lungs. “I can’t. Rayden—”
He pulled back. His face spasmed with hurt briefly before his lips broke into a gentle smile. “Tell me you feel nothing for me, Sia, and I’ll walk away right now. Tell me that when I touch you here.” A finger rolled down my cheek and rested against my fluttering pulse. “Or when I kiss you.” His lips brushed over mine, so light, I wasn’t sure if it happened. “Or hold you.” His arms tightened around me, drawing me closer. “That you feel nothing.”
Our eyes locked, I couldn’t look away. Being told I love you in one breath and asked to say you feel nothing in the next would be me lying to myself. “Are you asking me to break your son’s heart?”
He let out a ragged sigh. “I’m asking you to take a risk—”
“Just for the sheer pleasure of it,” I finished his words, a part of me wondering just how difficult this decision was for him. “For how long,” I blurted out, fearing my head would blow a fuse with my rampant thoughts.
“You promised me forever that evening. But, my forever with you is whatever you’re willing to give me.”
“You’re choosing heartbreak?”
“If it gives me time with you. Yes,” the confident reply didn’t match the desolation in his eyes.
“Drake,” I breathed at the unbelievability of what he was asking, what he was willing to put himself through to be with me. “That kind of pain will devour you.” I stared at him, telling myself that it was his acceptance of the devastation his heart would suffer that brought tears to my eyes yet only one thought came to mind. I was royally screwed.
His jaw clenched, he nodded. “You haven’t answered my question.” At my questioning gaze, he added, “Whether you feel nothing for me. Do you?” Slowly, I shook my head. “Come to me tonight. I’ll wait for you.”
An abrupt knock had me pulling back. “Sianna?” Tamara called through the thick door.
“Give me a sec, Tam.” His grip tightened on my waist, his eyes swimming with desperation, searching mine. “Sia?”
The door opened, and I stepped out of his embrace as Tamara entered. “I’m sorry.” Her questioning gaze ping-ponged between Drake and I before she sighed. “Rayden’s on the phone. He wants to speak to you, sweetheart.” She waved the mobile at her.
Nodding, I glanced at Drake, then took the phone and walked out, leaving him without an answer I wanted but couldn’t give him yet.
