Brutus stepped forward and adjusted my footing with the edge of his boot. “You’re telegraphing,” he said. “You decide before you move.”
I dragged in a breath. “How do I stop that?”
He shrugged. “You don’t. You move anyway.”
“Super helpful as always Brutus,” I half laughed.
“It’s the truth,” Brutus as he bit back a smile.
We started slow. Not because they didn’t think I could handle more. But because they wanted me to trust my body again. Ranger walked me through drills I already knew in theory: balance, leverage, controlled strikes. Brutus focused on reaction. Blocking, redirecting, staying upright.
I went down twice.
The first time my knee buckled unexpectedly and I hit the mat hard enough to knock the wind out of me. The room went quiet instantly. Too quiet.
“I’m okay,” I said quickly, pushing myself up before anyone could help.
Wrecker took a step forward anyway.
I held up a hand. “I’ve got it.”
He stopped. Just like that.
Something warm settled in my chest.
The second fall was worse.
A misstep. A twist of my ankle. For half a second the room tilted, and my mind flashed with concrete floors and restraints and voices that weren’t here.
I froze.
The freeze didn’t feel dramatic.
It wasn’t panic or screaming or collapse. It was quieter than that. My muscles locked like someone had flipped a switch, mythoughts blurring at the edges while my body hovered between standing and falling.
For a heartbeat, I wasn’t in the training room.
I was back on concrete. Back in fluorescent light. Back in a place where hesitation cost you control.
My pulse roared in my ears. My vision tunneled.
And then I felt the mat under my palms.
Textured. Solid. Real.
I dragged in air slowly, deliberately. Let my weight settle. Let my knees remember that they were allowed to bend without breaking. The past pressed close, but it didn’t take over.
Not this time.
No one rushed me. No one spoke.
That mattered.
I counted my breaths. Felt the ache in my shoulder. The sting in my scraped palm. Pain anchored me in a way fear never had.
I wasn’t trapped.
I wasn’t restrained.
