I had no more tears to cry.
As much as I wanted to, as much as my body yearned for the release, I had no more for my body to use. I felt numb, like someone had injected me with anesthetics but forced me to stay awake. My heart rhythmically pumped against my chest. My shoulders rose and fell with my automatic breaths. They didn’t even hiccup. Not once.
I had no more energy left in me to fight.
As I stared at the wall—at least, I thought it was the wall—my mind came to a grinding halt. In through my nose was drawn the deepest breath I had ever taken, and it felt like my lungs were opening up for the first time. I had no more options. I was out of ideas. Gordon wasn’t coming for me, and Dad knew where his place was in all of this.
I was stuck.
And as far as I knew, this was my life.
“At least I don’t have to go back to that shitty ass hospital,” I whispered to myself.
We have to figure out if she knows anything about this.
A code has to be developed.
Tommy Gun Griggs?
My mind felt louder than ever, screaming my thoughts back at me as I replayed the conversation I had just overheard. I wasn’t stupid, even though the idiotic men upstairs thought I was. And the second they had all been gathered, I snuck upstairs without them being any the wiser. They were terrible at that, by the way. If they thought they were keeping tabs on me, then they were shit at it. I had roamed more of their place than my own, most days, and while I had found multiple moments where I could have escaped, something always stopped me.
Now, I knew what it was.
“My fiancée is working for the mob,” I said out loud.
“Myfiancéeis working for the mob,” I said, with a different enunciation.
Then, I cleared my throat. “My fiancée is working for thefucking mob.”
No matter how much I said it, or how I said it, none of it felt real. And yet, it explained so much. Like, where we happen to get the chunk of change we needed for the house we had purchased together. Sure, my salary paid the mortgage, but it wasn’t as if we had the fifty grand to use as the down payment. I played the memory back in my mind. The last memory I had of ever being happy with Gordon, to be honest.
I allowed it to sweep me away as I continued staring off into the darkness.
“Sweetheart!? I got good news!”
I heard the apartment door slam closed as Gordon rushed into the bedroom. “What in the--?”
He looked my half-naked body up and down before he wiggled his eyebrows. “Already prepared to celebrate, I see.”
I blushed as I pulled my robe closed. “What in the world? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”
He walked over to me and gripped my upper arms. “That’s what I wanted to tell you. You remember all of those bonuses that work keeps backing out on?”
“Yeeeeah…?”
He drew me into his arms as a smile broke out across his face. “Well, they finally anted up. And it’s exactly how much we need for the rest of the down payment.”
My jaw hit the floor. “Your bonus was twelve grand!?”
He crashed his lips against mine, weakening my knees beneath me. “That’s right, gorgeous. Let’s call the realtor. Let’s buy our dream house.”
There were so many things about his schedule that changed after we purchased that house a few years back. His schedule became more erratic. Some nights, he didn’t get home until well past midnight. We went from never once having established any sort of savings account to having scores of money dumped into one at the drop of a hat. I tried not to question things. I tried to see the good in what was happening. After all, Gordon had been a lifelong police officer, third generation. I figured all of those long nights and weekend work schedules when we were younger had finally paid off.
Or, maybe I had taught myself to stay ignorant for fear of what the truth might have been.
“God damn it, Gordon,” I whispered as my shoulders slumped.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
