A growl fell from my lips. “No one else dies. No other innocent people get caught up in this. We end this tonight, and we end it as swiftly as possible.”
Bender nodded slowly. “Then, tomorrow morning, we come back and get the girls.”
“Bingo.”
As far as my eyes could see, there was nothing but scorched clay ground with cracks that sank sometimes inches at a time into the earth. The tires of our van tossed us around like flour against a countertop, and as I drew in deep breaths to keep myself from getting sick to my stomach, I couldn’t help but gaze into my sideview mirror.
I watched as the house blended in with its surroundings, hiding itself altogether before morphing into nothing but a dot on the horizon. And while I knew I needed to take solace in the two of them being safe, I simply couldn’t. Because even after we came back for them, I had no idea if Julia would ever forgive me.
If she’d ever want to be part of my life after what I had done.
“You sure you don’t—”
“Bender?” I asked as I lobbed my gaze in his general direction.
He peeked over at me. “Shut up?”
I popped my P. “Yep.”
With every mile that fell between us and the house, I did my damnedest to focus on our plans for that evening. We all had to be alert. We all had to be at our best. But as the whooshing of the tires beneath us sank me into the cushioned seat of our van, my mind wandered back to the one thing I simply couldn’t shake.
I found myself focusing on the blame of it all.
I mean, at the end of the day, I was their president. I was their beacon of hope and light of direction. And I had failed them. I had chosen to step cautiously in order to navigate this situation. I had chosen to change my ways for the better, even though I knew in the pit of my gut every single motherfucking night that I’d have to take that man out in order for our nightmare to case. Hell, I could have killed that asshole before any of this ever started and we’d still have our clubs. Our money. Our livelihoods, and our hope.
The two codes by which I had lived my entire life fought against one another, and they tortured me as Bender pulled up to the clubhouse.
Solidifying the awful decision I had made on Julia’s behalf.
“The things I would’ve done,” I murmured.
“What was that?” Bender asked.
The thing I would’ve done to Bullet before my presidency bombarded my mind. All of the ways I would’ve tortured that asshole before taking my oath flashed across my mind at once, and it shivered me with excitement. The idea of spilling that man’s blood filled my mouth with saliva. I’d be able to breathe in the tainted smell of his metallic life force while I stood over his decrepit body, and I found myself ecstatic at the thought.
I had done this the right way, and it had failed us.
So, it was time to do it the old way.
“Bender,” I said as I threw open my door.
“Yeah?”
I hopped out and stretched my arms over my head. “Start gathering our things. We need to make sure this van is outfitted to Reaper’s specifications before we head out tonight.”
He tilted his head. “Anything else?”
I stared him directly into his eyes. “Plenty. But we can deal with it after tonight. Now, let’s go. We still have a fuckton to get done.”
The old me would’ve had this resolved in a couple of hours after toying with Bullet for a while. Psychological torture was the best kind because it left no scars or trails of blood, but it killed every single motherfucker who tangoed with it. That was what I wanted for Bullet. I wanted a painful death with absolutely no evidence of what had happened. I wanted him to be nothing but a whisper on the curtails of the wind. A fantasy tale told over a campfire to scared little kids that taught them what happened when they went against the monster with fangs.
I gnashed my teeth together, feeling my tongue race behind my sharp canines. And as Bender made his way into the clubhouse, I relegated myself to the fight that was coming.
Because we no longer had the option to fail.
“All right, everyone!” I bellowed as I walked into the clubhouse as well. “I need updates!”
Reaper poked his head out of the living room. “Almost got our earpieces all synced up.”
