That was the last time I had ever spoken with Dean. It was the last time I had ever seen his face or heard his voice. After days of not hearing from him, I tried to get in contact with anyone on base that might’ve been in contact with his battalion, or whatever the hell they called a group of guys that were deployed together. But, because we had an entire country between us at one point, I didn’t really know who he served with, or who his bosses were. I didn’t know any of his friends, so I didn’t have their numbers. All I knew to do was wait.
I waited for him to come back around. I waited for him to call me and tell me he was all right. I waited for him to send me a letter or knock on my door. Anything to show me that he had made it home alive. I Googled military obituaries every fucking day, just waiting for his face to pop up. Hell, I even took a damn trip all the way across the country to check his place on base.
But, no one that I came into contact with had any answers for me.
Finding out I was pregnant without him at my side killed me. I struggled to keep up with my residency, especially with how much energy Natty zapped out of my system. Somehow, I managed to finish it. But, by the time it came to take a job at the hospital where I had done my residency as a general surgeon, I couldn’t do it.
I couldn't just live this life I had planned with Dean without him at my side.
Thankfully, my shift blew by quickly. Things were quiet after those gang idiots came in and started barking orders at people, they had no control over, and I tried to push Dean out of my mind. I raced home with coffee and breakfast, hoping to borrow Chloe’s ear just enough to calm myself down.
But, when I walked through the door and found my smiling, beautiful little girl running toward me, my stress melted away.
“Mommy! Mommy! You home!”
I placed everything on the kitchen counter and scooped her into my arms. “Yes, I am, sweet girl. Mommy’s home.”
I peppered her with kisses while she rattled off our plans for the day. “Auntie Chloe said we could go to the park and swim. Can we do that, Mommy? Please?”
I giggled. “After we snuggle while I take a nap. How’s that sound?”
“Yay!”
Chloe emerged from the guest bedroom. “How did your first evening go?”
I sighed as I put Natty down. “You’ll never guess who popped up out of thin air?”
She furrowed her brow. “Who?”
I handed her the coffee I brought for her. “Dean.”
Silence fell between us before she cleared her throat. “Dean.”
I nodded. “Yep.”
“You mean,DeanDean?”
“Yepyep.”
“The Dean we thought was dead.”
I picked up my own coffee. “Yeppity yep.”
She lowered her voice. “Natty’s father, Dean?”
I glared at her. “Let’s not say that too loud, yeah?”
Confusion washed over her face. “Dean’s alive?”
“Apparently.”
And he just… approached you? Just like that?”
I pulled a bagel out of the food bag. “Essentially, yeah.”
Chloe came into the kitchen and pulled out a muffin for herself. “Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”
I took another long pull from my decaf drink. “I don’t know what the hell I am right now.”
