I don't know if I can be both.
But lying here in the dark, with her warmth seeping into my bones, I know one thing for certain.
I'm going to try.
Whatever it takes. Whatever it costs.
I'm not losing her.
CHAPTER 11
Ripley
I'm done being a ghost.
For weeks, I've been drifting through the clubhouse like a shadow—eating when someone puts food in front of me, sleeping when exhaustion drags me under, existing without really living.
I've been so focused on surviving, on getting through each day without falling apart, that I forgot what it means to actually be alive.
That ends today.
I wake up before Levi, slipping out of bed while the first gray light of dawn is creeping through the windows.
He stirs but doesn't wake, and I take a moment to watch him—the hard lines of his face softened by sleep, the steady rise and fall of his chest.
He looks younger like this. Less burdened.
I love him.
The thought doesn't scare me anymore. It's just a fact, solid and real, as much a part of me now as my own heartbeat.
I love him, and I'm going to be worthy of that love.
Not by being helpless, by hiding, by standing on my own two feet and building something worth having.
I shower, dress in borrowed clothes that are starting to feel like mine, and head downstairs to find Tawny.
"You want to do what?"
Tawny stares at me over the rim of her coffee cup, eyebrows raised.
"I want to help," I repeat. "With the club. The businesses. Whatever needs doing." I square my shoulders, trying to project a confidence I don't entirely feel. "I can't keep sitting around doing nothing. I need a purpose."
Tawny and Paige exchange a look.
We're in the clubhouse kitchen, early enough that most of the brothers are still asleep.
The coffee maker gurgles in the corner, filling the room with the smell of fresh brew.
"What kind of help are we talking about?" Paige asks carefully.
"I have a degree in English. I'm good with words, with organization, with..." I trail off, suddenly aware of how inadequate my skills must sound.
What does a biker club need with an English major?
"Can you do the books?" Tawny asks.
"Books?"
