CHAPTER ONE
The firm knock echoed through the house like a gunshot.
Charley froze, as every muscle in her body tensed. She stared at the front door, her subconscious screaming at her not to move because it already knew what was waiting on the other side.
Her feet felt like lead as she moved closer to the door. Every step seemed to drag her deeper into the nightmare. Her hand trembled as she gripped the doorknob. Her pulse spiked like a warning siren.
The moment she opened the door, she knew exactly who the two men were and why they were there.
Standing on her porch in their dress uniforms, the two Army officers wore solemn expressions that told her everything before a single word was spoken.
The Army officer on the left cleared his throat.
“Ms. Taylor?”
She wanted to slam the door in his face, to make the moment disappear. But she couldn’t move or even find her voice. She could only give him a slight nod.
“The Secretary of Defense has asked me to express his deepest regret that your father, Colonel Brian Taylor, was killed in action. The Secretary extends his sympathy to you and your family for your loss. On behalf of a grateful nation, please accept our deepest condolences. We are here to assist you in any way we can.”
The words hit her like shrapnel, tearing through her chest. Her father. The man who had raised her. The man who hadtaught her to be brave, how to ride a bike, how to keep going even when life threw her curve balls. Her hero was gone.
The chaplain stepped forward and began to speak, but Charley’s shock drowned out his words. Grief crashed over her so violently that it stole the ground right out from under her, and she found herself suddenly falling through darkness and silence before her vision was flooded with sweet memories. The last time she hugged him before he deployed. Her last phone call with him. Her last meal with him. The last time he told her that he loved her.
She closed her eyes as tears began to fall.
When she opened her eyes, she was standing inside the same house again, only a few years older, when another knock sounded at the door.
Her breath caught in her throat as she stared at the door. She shook her head, not wanting to answer it, knowing again what was on the other side. But she wasn’t in control of the nightmare.
She slowly reached for the doorknob and opened the door. Instead of an Army casualty assistance officer and chaplain standing there, the two men were Marines. They mirrored the same solemn expressions.
“Ms. Taylor?”
Charley’s fingers clenched the edge of the door frame, bracing herself for the news that she knew would destroy her.
“The Secretary of Defense has asked me to express his deepest regret that your brother, Sergeant Matthew Taylor, died at his home. I am deeply sorry to inform you that the cause of death was self-inflicted. The Secretary extends his sympathy to you and your family for your loss. Please know that we are here to support you and will provide any information and assistance you may need.”
Charley shook her head. “No, you’re wrong,” she whispered, her voice trembling as she took a step back. “Matt wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t leave me.”
The words were like a wrecking ball that slammed into her chest, leaving nothing but devastation in its wake. The pain of losing her father hadn’t even fully settled before another wave crashed over her, drowning her in agony.
Her knees buckled as the world shattered around her. She was suddenly trapped in a whirlwind of memories—her father’s laugh, Matt’s smirk, holidays they spent together, the last time she saw them both. It was all so real. She had lost the two people she had loved with her whole heart.
Tears burned her eyes as the panic inside of her grew. She tried to breathe, but the air wouldn’t come.
A shrill ringing sound echoed in her head, like a leftover scream from the nightmare she couldn’t escape. Then, slowly, the sound changed. It was less of an echo and sharper. It was then that Charley realized the ringing wasn’t part of the nightmare anymore. It was real.
???
Charley’s eyes flew open as the nightmare faded away to the sound of her alarm clock ringing on the nightstand beside her.
She bolted upright, clutching the sheets in her fists. Her chest heaved, and her cheeks were damp with tears.
It wasn’t real. Not this time. But it had been once, actually twice. And no matter how many years had passed, she still woke up from the nightmare broken and drowning in grief she could never escape.
It was the same nightmare that had haunted her for years. The same one that made sleep feel like a battlefield she couldnever win, though they’ve been more frequent in the past few months.
She wiped the tears from her face as she lay back down. She stared at the ceiling, watching the ceiling fan go round and round.
