“I want to be alone, and it has nothing to do with you,” he insisted.
“It has to do with both of us. Being with someone isn’t always going to be good times, sunshine, and rainbows, Luke. You have to let me be with you in the bad times too.”
“Lily, you don’t understand this. There is no way you could.”
“Maybe not, but you’re beating yourself up, blaming yourself for things out of your control. You feel responsible for Liam, and for other things you won’t talk about. I see the ghosts in your eyes, and I always have. I have seen the way you talk to Liam and to Jed. I know you talk about your past with them, and I don’t know if I have the right to ask for details. Honestly, I don’t even want details unless you want to give them to me. But I think I have the right to know you’re hurting when it’s affecting us, when it takes you away from me. You’re here, but you’re not with me. You promised no more running. If we can’t be honest, then what do we have?”
“I don’t know!” he cried. “We have each other, don’t we?”
“Do we? If so, then tell me what you need, so I can give it to you,” I implored. “But don’t tell me to leave. I can’t do that.”Please listen to me, Luke, please.
“I’ve taken too much from you, Lily,” he insisted again.
“You have not. I want to give my love to you. But if you can’t let me in, then we have nothing.”
He just stared at me with that cold, undecipherable look on his face. His blank eyes cut through me. God, it hurt.
“I don’t understand why you even wanted me back if things are going to be the same. I’ll just leave you alone then.” Feeling stupid and hurt, I turned away from him and stumbled as I rushed toward the door, trying to get out before the tears started falling.
I heard his boots pounding over the floor behind me. I was almost to the door when I felt his arms band around my waist from behind. His lips touched my neck. “Don’t leave, Lily, please. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
I melted back into him.He heard me.
His arms split; one banded around my hips and the other across my chest with his palm under my chin, turning my face to his. He kissed me hard.
“I need you.” He kissed me again, tongue pushing harshly into my mouth. He abruptly released me and stepped back.
“Then take what you need, Luke,” I offered.
“I want you. I needyou.I am tired of feeling like a dead man walking. I feel alive when I’m with you.”
I reached up and pushed the straps of my sundress down, letting it fall to the floor, leaving me in my underwear and heels. I looked over my shoulder at him. “Then take me.”
I felt his hard chest hit my back as he wrapped me up in his arms, moving us toward the couch in the living room. All the while his hands moved over my body, cupping my breasts, between my legs. He continued kissing me, my lips, my neck. Kissing and nibbling his way over my shoulders as he pushed the straps of my bra down. I felt him kneel behind me as he unhooked it and tossed it aside. Kisses rained down over my back as he pushed my panties down my hips. I stepped out of them and kicked them aside just in time for him to reach up and put a big warm palm betweenmy shoulder blades before pushing me gently over the side of the couch. I felt his breath between my legs. He kissed the inside of my thigh. I felt him at my center, his tongue entering me, his hands spanning my hips, pulling me into his face, fingers reaching around to swirl right where I needed it.
“Oh, God, Luke,” I gasped.
He groaned against my skin. “Can I be inside you?”
“Yes.”
He abruptly stood. His shirt flew over my head to land in front of me on the couch. I heard his boots, then his belt buckle hitting the floor. I felt his warm skin and the hard muscles of his torso against my back. His chest hair tickled me in the most delicious way as he kissed my neck and his thick length rubbed between my folds. Then he shoved into my body, pushing into me with rough, delicious strokes.
His tears hit my back as he relentlessly pounded inside me, somehow breaking my heart and mending it back together at the same time. He traced the top of my spine with featherlight kisses as his hands dug into my hips to pull me back into his thrusts before he suddenly stopped and stepped away.
Confused, I turned my head to look at him.
He steadied me and moved around me to sit on the couch. “Jesus, Lily.” His voice was broken when he asked, “Did I hurt you?”
“You didn’t hurt me. Is that why you stopped?”
“Yes.”
“Stop hiding how you feel. I want you, Luke. I want the real you, without the apologetic mask. Quit protecting me and just be with me.”
“But I have to protect you,” he insisted. He moved his hands to my waist, gently caressing me as he gazed up into my eyes.
“Rejecting me is not protecting me. Leaving me is not protecting me.” I kicked off my heels, steppedcloser, then climbed onto his lap, my knees on the cushions on either side of him.
