Thankfully Jed broke the mood. “That reminds me, Luke,I have something for you. I’ll give it to you when you pick up Rocky tomorrow morning.” I raised my eyebrows, and he shook his head. “I’ve got to head out.” He stood up and handed Calla off to me.
She gave me big eyes, patted my cheeks, and said, “Ba.”
Jed called Rocky to him, said goodbye to everyone, and took off in his truck.
I wiped Calla’s chin with her bib. Her mouth was like a leaky faucet.
“She’s cutting a tooth,” Lily said. “That’s why she’s always drooling.”
I pulled her lip down and saw the tiny white spot poking through her lower gums. Calla put her mouth around my finger and bit down, making me laugh.
“Sure, it’s funny when it’s your finger. Not so funny when I was nursing her earlier,” Lily said, and I grimaced.
I leaned in and rubbed my nose against Calla’s. “Naughty baby. Biting is only good when fish do it.”
Dylan and Lily laughed. I tugged my finger out of Calla’s mouth and sat her on my lap facing out. She waved at Lily and said, “Mama, mama.”
Lily waved back, then covered her eyes to play peek-a-boo.
Calla giggled and clapped her hands.
“Hey, do you like to fish?” Dylan asked. “My dad Will took me fishing a lot with Uncle Trevor on his fishing boat.”
“I like to go fishing. The Sweetbriar River runs through the back of my property. I usually fish there. I’ll take you.”
“Yes! I have a Lightning McQueen fishing pole. But I can’t fish today. I’m spending the night at Mark and Mara’s and we’re going to play miniature golf and eat pizza. Uncle Ash has the day off tomorrow.”
A bird landed on the railing, behind Lily’s shoulder. Calla squealed and reached for it. I had the strange urge to catch it for her, but it flew away before I could even move to try. I turned her and held her to stand on my legs. I grinned at hersmiling baby face as she reached up and tried to grab ahold of my beard.
I looked up to see Lily smiling with an expression I had never seen before. This must be her “mom” look. Her eyes were soft as her gaze settled on my face, moving to Dylan tucked tight to my side, eating his donut, then to Calla dancing on my legs as I held her up.
Suddenly I recalled the same look on my mother’s face and realized this was a part of Lily I didn’t know anything about: her life as a mother. The fact that she made me remember my own mother with just her smile told me she was a good one. I took a deep breath as my heart filled. There were so many things I loved about her, and I had just discovered a new one. Familiar regret burned through me, blazing a path right alongside the joy that had been sparking up all morning.
Jed said that regret takes the place of action. He told me to set aside the things I could not change so I could concentrate on what was possible. So I smiled at Lily and watched her eyes warm. We’d always talked about having a big family; I decided right then I would give her more babies. As many as she wanted.
Shutting my eyes, I felt the sun warm my skin. The scent of the roses in the yard, the fresh donuts, and the soft floral of Lily’s perfume washed over me, grounding me against the bad memories threatening to steal this moment from me.
I wished the soft breeze on the air could blow them away. But they were rooted so deeply that a simple breeze was not enough to budge them. I could only do what Jed had said—take the good with the bad. He told me I deserved good things, and I was finally starting to believe him. But right now, as I sat here in the sunlight with my arms full of my family, it was easy to fight the bad. I locked this moment up tight, to use when I needed it.
Chapter 18
Lily
Iwas buzzing. I still hadn’t come down from earlier this morning. My head was spinning, from Luke, to the kids, to what to wear tonight, to what we would do when we were alone together.
“Lily! What are you doing here?” Violet shouted as I entered her shop.
“Sorry I’m late. Did you think I wasn’t coming?” I yelled back as I headed to her office to grab an apron and put my purse away.
“No. Don’t you have a date with Luke tonight?”
“Yeah, in like, nine hours. How much time do you think I need to get ready? And watch what you say. I’m about to get offended.”
Nick and Finn laughed as I headed toward the cash register.
“Well, we weren’t going to say anything...” Rose snickered, making Finn and Nick laugh harder.
“We’re going on break, Mom. This is the kind of sister fight we don’t want to see,” Nick said. Finn nodded his agreement as they took off for the patio out front, leaving the customers and the fighting to me and the sister squad.
