Luke cracked up at our antics, then stepped aside, holding the door open for us to pass.
Later, after Calla was clean and we’d stuffed our faces with fried chicken and mashed potatoes, I went upstairs and filled the tub for Dylan to take a bath. Upon reentering the kitchen, I found Luke washing pots and pans at the sink. Calla sat in her highchair next to him, banging toys on the tray and giggling as Luke narrated what he was doing in a silly pirate voice to entertain her.
This was a fantasy come to life. I ate a dinner I did not have to cook, someone else was cleaning my kitchen, and the cherry on top was the smoking-hot man who I loved so much entertaining my daughter and making her laugh. I watched his fine behind in his jeans and the roll of the muscles bunching and un-bunching across his back as he scrubbed the pots and wondered if it could get any better.If I had the guts to invite him into my bed tonight, that might make it better.Were we in that place yet? As I stood there watching, my hope started blossoming out of control. Even if we weren’t there yet, wewould be in that place soon. Every minute spent with him made me more certain. I leaned against the frame of the entrance to the kitchen and closed my eyes. My heart burst with fierce longing.
He heard me sigh and turned around with a grin. “I’m all done. I’m going to go pick up Rocky from Jed and come back. Is that okay? I want to help tuck the kids into bed.”
I nodded at him. I was in another Luke love haze. This one was worse than when we’d turned twelve and I’d realized that boys were not yucky, especially Luke. He was the least yucky boy in all the land, and I’d wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him now. I wanted to do a lot of things to him now. I sighed again as he gently lifted Calla from her highchair.
“Who’s a little princess?” he asked her. She slapped his cheeks and gave him a slobbery kiss on his chin. He laughed and crossed the four steps to me and handed her off. “Baby, I’ll be right back. Don’t start bedtime without me. I’ll have to take your car though. Mine is still at the office.” I nodded again. He smiled and leaned down to kiss my lips, then grabbed my keys from the counter and took off. Calla sighed and watched him leave.
“Oh, Calla. We’re in big trouble, aren’t we?” She blew out a raspberry, then put her hands on my cheeks and said, “Mama.”
“Let’s go check on Dylan.”
When Luke returned, I was curled up under Gram’s quilt on the couch nursing Calla and Dylan was sitting on the floor playing Minecraft on the new Xbox One that Jude and Levi had bought and installed. Rocky made a beeline for Dylan and curled up next to his side.
“Dad, check out my village.” Luke smiled at me, then sat next to Dylan on the floor. Gram’s phone rang, and I jumped in my seat. Luckily, Calla didn’t wake up.
“Hello?” No one answered—again. I was sick of this. It freaked me out, and I was tired of all the weirdness going on. Ihung it up with a slam. Well, a soft slam. I did have a sleeping baby on me, thus it was very unsatisfying. Not as unsatisfying as trying to end a call on a smartphone when you’re pissed though. “No one there.” Luke looked back at me with concern and stood. I held up a finger hoping he wouldn’t voice his worry in front of Dylan. “Thirty more minutes, then it’s bedtime, Dylan,” I reminded. He grumbled.
“But Luke is here, and Rocky.” He turned to Luke. “You should spend the night. Can Luke spend the night?” He shut down the Xbox and sat next to me. Luke sat in a wing chair by the fireplace. Rocky sat at my feet and stared up at me with the same puppy dog eyes Dylan was giving me.
Luke laughed and said, “I’m staying. I’ll sleep on the couch. I’ll get donuts in the morning.”
Dylan was doing his fist-pumping happy dance, shaking his butt and wiggling his hips as he danced around the coffee table with Rocky bopping around at his side. Luke reached over and ruffled Dylan’s hair with a grin.
“Text Violet. Tell her you’ll be late tomorrow.” He looked at me with that stony face, the one that said he was going to push and I was going to let him. I fully intended to let him push, especially tonight. I didn’t want to be alone. Too many things were freaking me out, and Gram’s baseball bat was not enough to make me feel safe. I nodded. Luke raised an eyebrow in surprise. I guess he’d expected an argument, but I wasn’t stupid. I wanted safety for my kids. If he hadn’t offered to stay here, I would have called one of my brothers to stay with me. Or Rose. She could get hostile sometimes. I wouldn’t cross her.
Luke relaxed and smiled. “So, what do we do around here for bedtime? Read stories? Check the basement for zombies? Meditate?”
Dylan laughed. I rolled my eyes and smiled.
“Stories! I have all my favorites by my bed. Mommy, can Luke read to me tonight?”
I nodded. I used to dream of having nights like this with Luke, and now that it was real, I could hardly believe it.
Dylan raced for the stairs with Rocky right behind him.
“He already had a bath. He just needs to brush his teeth, then you can read to him.” Luke looked at me. It was the same look as the night when he’d watched me nurse Calla. But this time, there was hope mixed in with the anguish. He caressed my cheek as he passed me to follow Dylan up the stairs.
Chapter 16
Luke
Ifinished tucking Calla into her pink blanket sleeper, turned on the baby monitor, and left her room, leaving the door open a crack like Lily told me to do. Next, I peered in at Dylan. Rocky slept curled up at his feet. I walked quietly to the bed and leaned over to kiss Dylan’s cheek and tuck the covers around him, then patted Rocky’s head and told him to stay here. He looked up at me, then settled back down, looking quite content to stay right where he was for the night.
The kids were asleep and Lily was waiting me downstairs. This was a fantasy come to life on so many different levels. I sped down the hall and quickly descended the stairs because I was dying to spend some time alone with her. I was heading into the life I should have fought for, the one I hoped I now deserved.
She was in the kitchen putting away the pots and pans I had washed earlier. I snuck up behind her to hug her around her tiny waist, twirling her around and grabbing onto the dream I wanted to finally come true.
She laughed and turned in my arms as I set her down. “Kidsasleep?”
“Yep.” I stared into her eyes, then down at her mouth. I wasn’t in the mood to be subtle. “Can I kiss you?”
“Yes.” She grinned and lifted her face to mine. “Wait.” She turned sideways to hop onto the counter then grabbed me by my shirt to pull me close, threading her fingers into my hair while she wrapped her legs around my waist.
She was all in, so I took the kisses I wanted, the kisses I had longed for, the kisses I had missed from her over all these years. I dug my fingers into her hips, pulling her forward to grind myself against her center.
