“Lily!” I jumped a foot after Rose yelled excitedly and hurried out of the kitchen door to bombard me with questions. “What happened over there? Tell me!” I pushed down my bad feelings about the weirdo outside. I didn’t want to worry Rose or involve her in it.
“We’re going to take it slowish. Sort of. Probably? Tell everyone for me, so I don’t have to answer a million questions.” I was only halfway joking.
Rose could keep a secret if I asked, but she had a huge mouth if something was free to share. I was glad I’d told her first. Well, second. Asher was first, but he wouldn’t tell anybody anything unless you pried it out of him. Telling Asher didn’t count. He was a vault.
She hugged me and kissed my cheek, then ran off with her phone. “I’m so happy for you. I’ll text everyone!” She promptly shut herself in Violet’s office and I would have sworn I could hear the sounds of her thumbs flying across her phone keyboard from here.
I finished tying my apron and stood in front of the counter. I couldn’t help but wonder why Violet wanted me to work here. Finn and Nick always had everything under control. I watched as they hustled and bustled behind the counter while Violet directed it all with military precision. She winked at me when she caught me staring with my mouth open.
Between customers, Finn asked me, “Want a coffee, Aunt Lily?” He passed me a scone. I took a bite. Ooh, peach.
“Sure, but I can make it.” I started to go behind the counter, but Nick passed me an icedcoffee.
“Iced vanilla decaf, right? Take a break, Aunt Lily, we got it,” he said. Wow. I had the best nephews.
“Thanks.” I took a sip. “I feel like all I do here is drink coffee and take breaks,” I muttered.
They looked at each other and laughed.
At the end of my shift—during which I did very little actual work—Luke walked in. “Lily, can we pick up the kids together? I’m done for the day.” He lifted me by the waist and kissed me.My brain turned to mush the second he touched me. All thoughts of “slow” darted out of my head as I enjoyed the rush his touch gave me.
“Yes, Dylan will love that.” I beamed up at him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He reached into my hair and undid the clip that was holding my bun up. My crazy curls came tumbling down. “Hey, my hair is too wild to have down while I work,” I said.
“You have beautiful hair,” he said as he put me down, then tugged softly on a curl. “I want to see it. And you’re off now anyway.”
I had been in mommy mode for so long that I’d forgotten what it felt like to be wanted for something other than snacks and stories and kid cuddles. Luke wantedme. This felt different from how my kids loved me. Luke made me feel feminine and desired. I felt turned on, electric,alive.I hardly remembered this Lily—the Lily who wore high heels so she could reach up for kisses, the Lily who wore her hair down and wild, and who loved with her whole heart because she was unafraid of having it break. I loved my kids with my whole heart, always. But with everyone else in my life, I was only half present. I had been walking through heavy clouds for too many years. Luke was like sunshine—he burned the clouds away, and I was finally allowing the light to shine on me.
“Luke,” I whispered as I stared at him. I was lucky I caught myself before I jumped him. We used to be so tactile and affectionate. It had always been so easy, effortless, andnatural between us that I had taken it for granted. When he left, I shut a lot of myself down. But bit by bit, Luke was ensuring I was no longer that version of me.
He gave me the half-grin, and I almost swooned. I took his hand and started for the door. We needed to get out of here before I gave Finn, Nick, Violet, and all her customers a show.
In my life as a mother, I had nevernotwanted to go get my kids. I always wanted to be around them. But right now, I was greedy for Luke. I wanted him to myself, wanted to explore all the changes in him, and I wanted to do it naked and for a long time. I sighed. We had time. And I was the idiot who wanted to take things slow.
“We should take your car. I don’t have car seats for the kids yet.” He winked as I handed him my keys.
Dylan was playing in the grass and Mom, Gram, and Calla were sitting on one of Gram’s old quilts spread out on the sprawling front lawn when Luke and I pulled up to my parents’ house. My mother did a double take when she noticed me get out of the passenger side. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands when Luke exited on the driver’s side.
Gram hollered at Luke, “Oh, thank God. I need a strong arm to hold on to so I can get up off this dang grass. Lily, I told your mama I needed a chair. My legs don’t work the way they used to. Come over here and give me hugs and help me up. I have to piddle. Pretty soon, Calla won’t be the only one around here wearing diapers,” she muttered the last part. Luke leaned over and helped her up. Once she was on her feet, she gave us both a hug. “I keep missing you, Lily. You have to stop coming over here when I’m asleep.”
“Or watchingJeopardy,” I teased, and she smiled sheepishly.
Gram was about an inch taller than Rose and me. She’d always told us we got our height from her, then she would say, “You’re welcome.” She was tiny, with short, curly white hair that used to be red—we got that from her too. Gram was largerthan life, with a big attitude to match. Rose got the attitude. I did not.
“I’ll be right back. Don’t leave yet.” She rushed off toward the garage apartment.
Luke and Dylan had run off together. I laughed as he swept Dylan up to sit on his shoulders. Dylan held a bottle of bubbles that dripped all over Luke’s head every time he put the wand in for a reload. I shook my head and sat down next to my mother and Calla. I cuddled Calla into my lap and looked at my mother out of the corner of my eye.
“Please don’t freak out and make a big deal of this. We’re taking it slow.”
She sighed and wiped away a tear. “Lily, I’m so happy. And Diana would be beside herself. I wish she were here to see this. Though, if she were here, he never would have stayed away for so long...”
We shared a sad smile. Luke had been so close to his mom. She had been an angel on earth, and we all missed her.
“Yeah. We wouldn’t have lost all this time.”
Calla put her hands into my hair and tugged it. She wasn’t used to seeing it down. She pulled my face to hers and kissed my nose. Well, more like put my nose in her mouth. I pulled back and kissed her forehead.
“Things have a way of working out.” Mom stroked Calla’s hair. “We wouldn’t have this little darling if you hadn’t been with Will.”
