“Play with your clit,” Nick orders, thrusting in and out of me even harder.
Reaching my hand between my legs, I start rubbing slow circles, letting another orgasm build. The feeling is so intense with both sweet spots being stimulated.
“I want you to come for me, then I’m going to finish in your ass.” His finger slides back into me, stretching me out and adding another. “Relax.”
It’s hard to relax. His fingers kind of hurt back there and I know his cock is going to be worse. “Nick, I don’t think I can take you, I’ve never done that before.”
“Even more reason for me to claim your sweet ass. You can take me, baby.” His dirty words do it for me every time. I stiffen as my orgasm spirals again.
He pulls out using my release as lube as he brings it to my ass. I’m so turned on and so relaxed, I barely flinch when he starts applying pressure. His hand rubs my back. “That’s it, relax for me. It won’t hurt for long.”
I back into him; he is going to take me and I might as well be ready for it. The head slides in. My stomach tenses. It fucking hurts.
“Breathe.” He moves his hips gently back and forth, which actually hurts less than when he first slid in and was still for a second.
I take deep breaths in and out. Readying myself. After several long strokes, he finally bottoms out. “Nick, don’t begentle.” I want it raw, hard. Just the way I’m used to, but now the pain comes with an unsurpassable amount of pleasure.
“Don’t worry, cupcake, I won’t.” He slams into me.
Shit that fucking hurts, but the more he works it in and out, it gets easier, then starts to feel good. Over and over, he slams into me until he comes, hard. In my ass. Holy shit. That really just happened.
He doesn’t pull out, even though I can feel him softening some. He leans over, placing his sweaty face on my back and cradling my midsection. “You don’t know how crazy I am for you,” he breathes.
Actually, I do. Because I feel the same.
Chapter 33
Maya
My stomach is in knots. I spent half the morning trying to work off my nervous energy by deep cleaning the kitchen before Emma made me stop. Today is the day I apply at Cottontails.
Nick had to work, Emma went to the market. Ethan left to meet Vade and his nephew to scope out my security details, so it’s just Squeak and I at the beach house. I thought some fresh air might be calming, so I brought her outside to play on the deck.
You never really learn to appreciate the beauty life has to offer when you live in survival mode. Not that there was ever anything pretty to look at in that shithole town, it’s just appreciation for the little things like the way the breeze blows effortlessly through the air and the rustle of the trees, the way the flowers bloom, or how a picture-perfect sunset settles over the horizon.
The only thing I would change right now is for my mom to be here to see and experience what I am now. She deserved so much more than life handed her. She had a servant’s heart and thought she could fix my daddy. She prayed every night for him to change his ways.
She was terrified that if we left, he would kill us both when he found us. I didn’t recognize it then, but I know now he made her feel worthless and manipulated her so she would never leave.
He was a narcissist and deserved what he got. I don’t blame her for staying, but I do wish she had been brave enoughto leave. As a nurse, she could’ve found a job anywhere and might still be alive.
I sit forward, leaning on my knees and clutching my coffee cups in both hands when I spot a monarch butterfly dancing gently in the air from flower to flower. My heart constricts when it flutters my way, landing gently in my arm, instantly knowing who is here to pay me a visit. “Hey, Mom,” I choke out.
“I’ve been doing a lot better these days.” Hot tears sting my face. “I start a new job today, but it’s only temporary. I’m taking two classes, and they are going really good.” It’s hard to talk when my heart feels like it’s cracking inside my chest and the lump in my throat is choking me.
The butterfly gently flaps its wings, but it stays perched on my arm. God, I wish she could talk back to me. But I’ll take this over nothing at all. At least I know she is at peace where she is and can come back to visit me occasionally.
“I know you don’t have long, but I want you to know how much I love and miss you.” More tears fall harder and faster now. “I’m going to be ok, I think. I’m happy now.” I choke back a sob, needing to wipe my face but terrified to move. As if her time is getting close to being up, just like before, the butterfly floats up to my face, briefly landing on my cheek before fluttering away.
Squeak comes up from somewhere behind me, batting at the butterfly as it makes its ascent. I grab her, pulling her back and holding her close to my chest.
I’m convinced my mom sent me this kitten to look after to help me get through one of my darkest times. She’s brought me so much joy and laughter, even if she is a bad little shit.
“It’s a rectangular building, I don’t think I’m going to get lost.” I studied the 3D model of the casino floor plan with Ethan for over an hour before we left the beach house. I know where every single exit is at this point.
“Cottontails is on the second floor, away from the main gaming area. You’ll walk in this door by valet and make a right, go up the escalator and take a left. There will be a bouncer outside the club. You’ll have to show ID to get in. You have it in your purse, right?” He looks over at me.
“My purse, money, and cell phone, but I seem to have lost my sanity. You’re driving me fucking crazy.” Him and Nick are more nervous than I am.
