Geezus that feels good. Heat pools low in my traitorous belly while the rest of me is fighting to contain the massive adrenaline spike. He unnerves me so damn much.
But I know it’s fake. Shit, what am I supposed to say? I can’t be the one to ask Sasha to leave, and if I walk off, it will piss him off more.
“He’s not supposed to put his hands on you, make him stop,” Sasha whines, more like a desperate plea than command.
He caresses the small strip of skin in between my shorts and crop top. “If you don’t like it, tell me to stop.”
I don’t want him to stop. I take a slight step back, thoughts of him touching me in the hot tub race through my head. His soft lips, the way his muscles felt flexing under my fingers…my heart is pounding in my chest. I’m so nervous, I might throw up.
“Stop touching her, Nick! You know that’s against the rules!” Sasha steps between us, more to place distance between us than to protect me.
He stands up, not letting me out of his sight. “You know what’s against the rules? Ignoring someone when they say they have some things to discuss with you.” Nick pushes Sasha aside and walks over to me, standing uncomfortably close, his face in mine, earning me daggers from Sashas direction. Theexcitement that was furling through me is long gone, fear taking its place.
“When I tell you I need to speak with you, I mean now and not a minute more.” He’s leaned into me so closely I can feel the heat radiating off his body.
He grabs my wrist, no doubt to keep me from bolting. Panic courses through my veins. He doesn’t look back but barks at Sasha to leave. What the fuck.
“You said you would be working late.” My voice is shaky. I gulp as I hear the door slam. I’m all alone with him now.
“That was the plan, but apparently I didn’t make myself clear when I told you we needed to talk about last night. You left me on read.” His neck muscles bulge and his jaw tightens.
Those fucking read receipts… Shit. His face is so close, his lips are almost touching mine.
“I didn’t think you meant right then.” I cower under him. I’ve never been so scared—and turned on—at the same time.
“I didn’t, but if you had responded, you would’ve known that.” His grip loosens slightly and he backs away.
My senses are overwhelming me right now. I guess I was supposed to ask when. “Maybe you should’ve made yourself more clear to begin with.”
“What do you want, Maya? You walked away last night and said you needed space to think, then ghosted me all day. I need to know your thoughts. I’m not going to sit back and pretend nothing happened. You’ve got to learn to addressthings, even if they’re out of your comfort zone.” His tone is slightly softer and he appears more relaxed.
The truth is, I don’t know what I want. My entire existence has done a one-eighty in the last few months. I’ve went from scraping pennies to survive to living on a massive farm and luxury beach house with everything I need handed to me as soon as I need it. Not to mention living and socializing in the company of rich and powerful men.
It’s the life I used to dream of living. Which sounds great in theory, but in reality it is overwhelming at times. It’s like I’m expecting to wake up one day in my bedroom back in Whiskey Rivers and realize none of this was real.
“I don’t expect anything from you. We were both drinking and things got carried away.” I stare at the floor, afraid to look up.
He lets go of me completely and crosses his arms, the previous warmth gone. There’s nothing but cold between us now.
“You acted the way you did after I told you my men were off-limits to you. I don’t know the best way to navigate this because I’ve never been in a situation where my employee was living with me.”
“Oh.” My gut is sinking. I know where this going, and I don’t like it. Even though I knew in my head it was a drunken encounter, it stings worse knowing he thinks I was just looking for attention.
I enjoyed the attention from him and Marcus but none if it was out of desperation. It shouldn’t be unreasonable to enjoy feeling wanted. It is my fault for what happened in the hot tub, I was the one who threw myself at Nick.
“If you’re just looking to go out and have some fun, I can allow that. If it’s Marcus you want to do it with, fine,” he says calmly.
“You said I couldn’t date any of your men.” I swallow hard, wishing that if I had answered his message, maybe this would’ve went a different way.
He said last night he didn’t regret what happened, but he does or he wouldn’t be saying all this right now. But why was he touching me like he did when we roleplayed? Maybe it was to punish me.
“I’d rather it be with someone I’ve personally picked to represent my team than a stranger on the street. Just know he is only going to want one thing from you.” His eyes are fixed, cold, and unreadable.
Deep breath. My whole life I’ve had to apologize for things that are out of my control, now shouldn’t be any different. Except for it is, and it hurts. “I’m sorry about last night, for making you do something you regret.” I tried to hide the waver in my voice, but I failed. Just like I always seem to do in life.
He softens and steps closer to me. I tense and step back. If he puts his hands on me right now, I just might lose my shit. Hell, I might do that anyway.
“I don’t regret a single minute of it.” He wipes his hands down his face in defeat. “I’m no good for you. If I’m going to look out for your wellbeing, I have to do so in a way that’s not misleading. I don’t do commitments and right now I’m not sure we could separate business from pleasure.”
